effi

What a way to start the day.


Why We Love Children
>
> 1. A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it
> was dead. How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil. Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently. You did WHAT " the teacher exclaimed in surprise. You know,"explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move."

> 2. A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later....."Da-ad...." "What?" I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?" "No, You had your chance. Lights out." Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....." "WHAT?" "I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??" I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"
> Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad....." "WHAT!"
> "When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"
>
> 3. An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him "How do you expect to get into Heaven?"The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'"
>
> 4. One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room." A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."

>
> 5. It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?" The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron."

>
> 6. When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!" I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy." "I know," she replied, but what's growing in your butt?"

>
> 7. A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine...." His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?" The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom." "And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked. "Yes," he answered. Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?" The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition." The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two,
> that son of a bitch is four?" After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught
> them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."

>
> 8. One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, "..... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?"One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy Shit! A talking chicken!'" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.
>
> 9. A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown." The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?"
> She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."
>
> 10. A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?" Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough." The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?"
>
>
> 11. A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut, eating a snack cake. The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your Twinkie." She says, "Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too."
>

Yosser

well what a monday it is.

I have managed to annoy the discs in my back again, so I am moving around like a 97 year old.

My boss slipped over at the weekend and broke her hip bone.

and my co-workers are off due to a flu virus floating around, talk about the walking wounded

BrigieDarling

Todd isn't very happy either Yossie!

He had an MRI last week and the results came today saying not much looks wrong! He's in excrutiating pain and actually got stuck laying on the deck the other day! (can't remember why he was laying on it, but anyway) -- He's been given so many diagnosis's varying from surgery to medication that he's had enough of doctotrs completely!

Have you had a flu shot? (Last time I had one I got sick from it)

Yosser

I've not had the shot, but I really should get my arse down the quacks office.

I had a MRI done in the summer and I had herniated 2 discs and pinched a nerve. The pain was off the scale, anyways I done all the Physio Therapy, but I was lifting stuff and twisting at work friday and spent all weekend shuffling around like a old fogey, I was going to take today off work, but when I called in and found my boss and co-workers were sick, I had to drive in leaning over to my right like a homeboy in a pimp mobile...If I move sudden, it feels like some ones shootin 415 volts down my spine....Oooooouch!

BrigieDarling

That was one of the diagnosis's Todd got... a pinched nerve and a herniated disc! -- His legs go numb sometimes poor thing!

Yossie I'm laughing at the mental pic of you driving like that... I keep picturing Kramer for some reason!

Yosser

I tell you Brig, he's in some pain...I really feel for him its the worst.

I had that leg thing too, the nerve that was pinched ran all the way down my hamstring to my calve, just standing there taking a whiz was a 20 minute monumental effort.

You just can't get comfortable, taking a bath was like having your testicles tortured by Saddam and laying in bed....forget it, I slept on the floor for 2 weeks, I had ALOT of Therapy, but walking on the treadmill for 10 mins just did me in, it felt like learning to walk again. Was it work related?

BrigieDarling

Yes it was work related... or happened at work! (Not pursuing Comp or anything) He can't get comfortable and they sent him for tests where they stuck needles in and shocked the nerves etc... Sometimes he felt nothing!

he's had it for a year or two now and is just about tired of it... Today the doctor suggested a nuero surgeon. I think he needs a new doc!

Yosser

I did go through workers comp and they refered me to a company called concentra, they prescribed me some anti-flammitory steroids and pain killers but got me doing streching exercises straight away (you lay on your front palms in front of you and arch the back, its a great way to get some instant relief from the discs).

My back was always my strongest part at the gym, but I have got off the free weights and now do cable and cardio work, its amazing just how easily it is to screw your back up but my job requires alot of physical activity so its hard not to get carried away.

There was a report on the news here in Texas last week because of the fight between insurance and doctors, because insurance companys don't want to pay out for good treatment and some chap killed himself because he couldn't get rid of his back pain and no one would help him, man he must of been in a bad state to go that far!

BrigieDarling

Terrible isn't it?

We got the stupidest letter yet from our Insurance company yesterday too.

It was something about not allowing the MRI unless prescribed by a doctor... did they think he just walked in and asked for one!

His appointment was for 9:30 PM -- He told the girl that he get's up at 4:30 and has to be in work at 5... Just in case he fell asleep!

Todd's been taking it easy with the weights too. I suggest the exercise you did! As long as it doesn't feel uncomfortable it might help.

Yosser

just tell him to take it slow, the last few mornings and lunch time I have been streching out but it does work.

Another thing you can do for him, is to get Todd to lay down on his front, then you get your palm on the ball of his spine and fimly press your palm down, sorta like your trying to push his back towards he's feet, so that your seperating the discs from the pinched nerve. you can also get a machine that has electrode pads that you stick on the painfull area and it shoots very low electrical volts into the back combine this with a heat pad and this will also provide some relief.

BrigieDarling

Thank s again Yossie! I'll give it a go!

I've mucked everything else up in the past two days... so helping Todd will make me feel better!

OK... gotta go cook now!

Jxab12

As a fellow sufferer I sympathise with the pain of a bad back/disc. My chiropractor recommends something called BioFreeze - works well but wears off fast. The other thing is like a beaded pillow that you put in the microwave to warm up - longer lasting relief but make sure you dont leave it in too long!
I've found yoga to be useful too. Good luck.

effi

If he leaves it much longer he will end up with an op. This happened to my husband a couple of years ago. He had a herniated disk for a year, the doc kept telling him it was a pulled muscle. Whilst he was back in UK, he could not get out of bed one morning the lady who came to clean his room called an ambulance. He had to have surgery to relieve the pressure on the disk. As a result of letting it go so long he lost the feeling in his foot. I had the same thing last year, but after watching my husband suffer, I knew what it was. An MRI confirmed it. I just took it easy for a couple of weeks, not easy to do if you have to go to work. Stretching helps, there are some special excercises you can do for it. My husband still has to stretch every morning after he gets up. Swimming is also good, takes the pressure off. The best thing I found was to get on all fours and just let my back sink, takes the pressure of the disc, but you look like a pratt. If this is left much longer though it will probably result in nerve damage.