Englishmum

OK....from what you're saying it seems that he's probably mildly depressed. This is totally understandable in my opinion as he currently has no structure to his day and there's little for him to get up and out of bed for.

I'm guessing that he's not planning to be a full-time student - it's certainly not for everyone...in fact, Australia has realised that it has a major problem now as there aren't enough tradespeople like plumbers, carpenters, electricians, mechanics etc. and too many newly qualified IT students and they can't find a job! Does he have any career aspirations in mind? It's a pity that there don't appear to be any indentured apprenticeships in the US as they have in the UK.

I also imagine that the people in your neighbourhood who are your son's age group are either out at college or day or are out at work. Your son is probably frustrated that he has to rely on his parents for money too and feels embarrassed to ask for it. My son is 16 and most of his friends are planning to do summer jobs when school breaks up eg. being a caddy on the local golf courses (big tips apparently). My son can't do any work either, being on an L2 visa...but doesn't like the idea of doing any (voluntary) 'work' if he's not going to get a cash 'reward' for it....(sigh).

Do you think he might want to do some voluntary work? If he likes animals then perhaps he could help out at an animal shelter, or maybe something in the arts field? I'll try to think of other things for him to do....I can empathise as my daughter is about the same age as your son so I can imagine how life is in your household LOL!

rincewind

Or maybe, he just likes to relax

Bob

Caddy is good tips, so is working on the grounds doing the grass etc, BIL does it at sugar loaf, shite hours though.
And your son, L2, can apply for EAD if he wanted to work....

BritishInOhio

Are you sure he is'nt on drugs of somesort. Sounds like the classic behaviour of a stonner to me.

Englishmum

Unfortunately he can't. Only spouses on L2 visas can work and I have the EAD myself (cos the company paid Fragomen $500 to put the application in....still at least I got Social Security no. which is a big help when going to the DMV for renewal of a driving licence!).

My son is a dependent on an L2....hence he's not allowed to work...and yes, we did get Fragomen, the immigration attorneys to double check.

snowbunny

Also the classic behaviour of someone who's depressed.

I think a trip to break the tedium of being in one place all the time, would work wonders. I would choose either Seattle or Chicago, both big cities with plenty to explore and decent transit systems. If there is any way he could go with a friend, he would find that much more liberating and empowering. I travelled round the country with three other 18-year-olds (all of us were below the drinkng age everywhere we went except Montreal and Puerto Rico).

Longer term? If he is not doing this already then I would highly recommend counselling -- he has more than the average kid to sort out. WRT university/college/trade school: I'd be tough pressed to choose if I didn't know where I was going to eventually live so that I could know the job needs of the area. At this point *any* kind of school/training would add structure to his life; does he have a 'dream' job? Could he do volunteer work or 'shadow' someone in a career or trade of interest?

Good luck.... I have the feeling I am staring at my own future here dealing with my eldest (in eight years) and she's a USC. Unless one has a pretty strong drive towards a given career path I'd be lost as to what to recommend to young people these days.

Ray

How did the poor kid go from a 'hanging out' fan to a depressed drug taker
2 more pages ..and he will be an axe murderer....

To my mind he's just your standard bored teenager...

snowbunny

teenager plus one....

his mum will know best

Ray

Oh no!!! .. she has a guilt complex.....

Englishmum

My daughter (who is a student in London) phoned me at 7am this morning and said that her next placement is going to be on the subject of 'forensic mental health'. She's going to have to study and attend meetings with prisoners, ex-cons in rehabilitation etc. and 'axe murderer' was the first thing that came into my head.... :scared:

snowbunny

That's the check-and-balance system of parenting.

Seriously I would let him go with a friend.... or on a tour. If he already feels too dependent, going on holiday with a parent might possibly detract from the fun.

Ray

Something there that I know about...

Ray

A weekend of shagging with an older women will cure all his ills ...

snowbunny

Well you'd know some of those, Ray.... anyone up for a weekend of Sleepless in Seattle?

Bob

They ain't from Utah Ray....