Re: Foster Parenting
 

On the contrary, you've encouraged my interest. If things weren't the way they currently are at home (with my son's health), I'd have already looked into this seriously and begun the licensing process. I think we're going to re-evaluate over Christmas and perhaps begin properly early next year.

On the WI fostering website it mentions you are allowed to specify a preference for the age of children you want to foster, although there's no guarantee. Was that the case for you? I don't think we'd cope very well with tiny ones - I'd honestly prefer 12+, but my OH is keener on 6-12 - but I wouldn't want to turn any child away who needed a home. Picking and choosing sounds awful, but what if you really don't think you could cope with the child they're offering?

I hope that doesn't make me sounds like a terrible person.

Re: Foster Parenting
 

It's a wonderful thing to do, we started in 2001 adn stopped this year. We had over 15 infants and toddlers over the years and ended up adopting Dd. Letting them go is hard (usually, theres always one that you :banghead: with) but thats all part of it and you do get used to it even though I used to shed some tears and do lots of laundry to get rid of the baby smell.
join www.fosterparents.com they have a very active board and are extremely knowledgeable and all over the country.

Re: Foster Parenting
 

I agree. I have a couple of friends in the UK that have fostered kids for a long time, they took a break for a few years after a pretty traumatic experience with a baby they thought they were going to adopt :( If you ask them, they will tell you that they have never regretted their choices, but I know that it hasn't always been an easy road for them.

They didn't have any of their own children and sometimes I think that has made it tougher for them (saying goodbye to kids they have grown very attached too) They have had the kids parents turn up on their doorstep drunk and aggressive in the middle of the night etc, so it is definitely something you have to be very sure you can/want to do.

I have a lot of admiration for those special people that can foster kids successfully, it is usually a thankless job, I don't think i could do it myself :o

Re: Foster Parenting
 

I totally agree with everything you say and apologize if I came across as being a bit flippant with my comment.

Fostering can be very hard work and is a commitment that cannot be taken without the absolute certainty that it is what you want to do.

Without sounding corny, fostering is very much like a roller-coaster. The ups are great and the reward of making a difference in a child's life is amazing. The downs can be pretty traumatic however, and you may have to deal with a lot of bad things that you were not expecting and often aren't prepared for.

Re: Foster Parenting
 

No it doesn't make you sound like a terrible person, quite the opposite actually.

One of the forms you have fill out has a list of all the issues that a child may have. You have to mark whether you can handle/possibly handle/cannot handle each issue. You have to be totally honest, if you know/suspect you cannot deal with a certain issue then mark no. We have had to say no to a number of issues we could not deal with. You may feel a failure or a terrible person but the repercussions to you, your family and the foster child if you are not honest and a child who you cannot deal with is placed with you, do not bear thinking about. The Social Work department will not expect you to take a child you are not able to handle and will not ask you to.

Our worker advised us on the age group she thought we should be looking at fostering based on the ages of our own children and our circumstances. They will do the same for you.

Re: Foster Parenting
 

That's really useful. Thank you.

Again, very useful. Thanks.

I'm glad I'm getting more information now, before we start any applications. I imagine it's similar to deciding whether you want your own, biological children: until you have them, you cannot possibly be prepared enough. The difference here will be the problems foster children bring with their suitcases. I suspect I will need to do more research on how to cope with emotionally and physically damaged children before I go any further.

Still not put off though. That's a good sign. :fingerscrossed:

Re: Foster Parenting
 

FYI, our esteemed Governer Doyle last year declared May to be 'Foster Parent Appreciation Month' in Wisconsin. You might find your local Social Services will be holding events to promote interest. Would be a good source of further information and a chance to meet the people you may be dealing with in the future as well as other foster parents in your area who I'm sure will be more than happy to share their experiences.

Re: Foster Parenting
 

You are a mine of information! Thank you!

Re: Foster Parenting
 

I'm just wondering, but what happens to the kids should you want to take a trip back to the UK? Or a trip anywhere for that matter? I've always wondered that and I know it sounds kind of selfish, but its always prevented me from ever considering fostering. Not that we're always on a trip or anything, but what if you wanted to?:confused:

Re: Foster Parenting
 

Here in Texas, if you foster and want to travel out of state then it is usually approved by the judge that deals with the CPS cases. The foster parents have to say where they will be traveling and for how long. I also saw approval for traveling into Mexico but I'm not sure if that would be so easy now. Crossing the border in Texas is not advised right now for any one right now.

Re: Foster Parenting
 

Hmm. Hadn't even thought about that! I wonder if they could come too, or if they're not allowed to leave the country? Surely if you had them for long enough, you'd want to treat them as your own kids and have them on vacation with you?

I'll add this to my list of questions!

Re: Foster Parenting
 

They wouldn't issue our little ones with passports so we couldn't bring the toddler we had with us when we had a holiday in UK booked for 3 weeks, so they arraigned for another foster Mom to take her for three weeks so she could continue her weekly visits with the parents. They knew we had booked before placing her with us but assumed she'd have gone home by summer, she came right back to us on our return (ran and hugged me tight when she saw me) and stayed with us another 2 months then went home to her Dad.
This has happened to us twice in the 10 years we fostered. Both times the babies went to respite care while we were gone. Then I did a week of respite for another foster Mom who had an out of state funeral.

Re: Foster Parenting
 

I would never have even thought about that little factor. We have bandied about the idea of fostering and it would never have occurred to me that they might not be able to go out-of-state or overseas. That could put serious holes in the idea.

Re: Foster Parenting
 

my mum and dad did a special kind of foster care -after i left home. They took on older kids - aged about 16 - who were too old to go to a standard foster home and too young to go out on their own. They had about 3-4 boys over about 5 years or so. All were problematic to some degree (often being cared for because their own existing family was toxic for some reason) but the last kid my mum and dad looked after really turned himself around. he clicked with my mum and dad and they still keep in touch. he has now gone on and married and has a trade, a job and a couple of kids. Before he arrived he was getting into fights and trouble every weekend.

Re: Foster Parenting
 

Its good to hear stories like that. My husband's Nan and Granddad did fostering over the years and some of their "kids" stayed in touch till they passed away. Everyone needs to have some kind of family.