.Tony_UK

Hello all, a quick introduction: I'm a 23 year old male in Staffordshire UK, currently working as a manager in distribution. My girlfriend is 20 years old and on her way to becoming a Business Major, halfway through college and living in Iowa, USA. We met whilst I was doing studies at the American Institute of Business February 2012, and spent a good 4 months together and fell in love almost instantly, sadly my student visa expired and I was forced to return home.

Since my return we have done nothing but talk via Skype every day since, and I have travelled to Iowa for a vacation 3 times since June 2012 and she has come to England twice. With the time difference and my work schedule/her school schedule it's very hard to manage but worth it, and recently we have decided we would like to give a full time relationship a shot, meaning I would have to go and live in Iowa to be with her. this is not because she doesn't want to come and live here with me, I just think it would be more wise to go to her for a number of personal reasons.

Anyway guys, sorry to bore all of you! Here are a few questions I wish to ask : )

- Getting a visa, can you break it down for me in easily processed steps? I mean, is it really that difficult to obtain? I know you can get marriage visas, but we aren't getting married and we aren't married, so would I even stand a chance of getting a visa?

- How long is the process typically, or how long did you guys have to wait? any tips for making it go faster or advice on entering the visa process?

- Planning, is it possible that I could get everything sorted here in the UK and be gone by mid-2014, or is that a fantasy? sometimes I feel like I'm living in a bubble and I'm seeing things with rose-tinted glasses.

- culture, the culture is definitely a shock I know, but you guys live with it 24/7, how do you deal with it, is there anything you miss dreadfully, something I'm not aware of maybe? any regrets?

- Money, the job market, savings, how much would it typically cost to go through the entire process? I have savings, quite a substantial sum for my age I might add, but I'm no Trump 'nor am I silver spoon fed. Just a typical lad from a working-class background.

All in all, I'm not here to be directed to the help threads currently on the forum, I have read them - I'm just looking for personal opinion, motivation, inspiration, advice, help & guidance on whether or not we could actually make a ''UKUS' relationship work given our age, and whether any of you here had to move for the same reason, love.

I appreciate that you may have read this, and thank you to those that choose to respond with anything constructive, be it helpful, critical, or questionable.

(2 sides to a coin, after all!)

SanDiegogirl

Unless you go through the marriage route and she sponsors you for a spouse visa your only other options are:

work visa - you need to find a US employer to sponsor you and obtain the visa before you travel to the US. Think this is feasible in the profession you are in?
Do you work for an international company who could arrange a transfer? How are you with networking, networking, networking? Most work visas are provided for people with specialist skills/management/executive experience/IT skills.

investment visa - got money to invest?

study visa - fancy going back to school and paying for the privilege?

That's about it.

Hotscot

Tony
If you're not getting married you'll have to qualify for your own visa and by the looks of it there's not much chance of that because the US isn't in dire need of distribution managers.
The rest of your questions are moot at this stage but are so variable in any case because things that apply to you wouldn't have specifically applied to others.
For example, dealing with the culture....what specifically do you mean? Television, music, neighbours, food, services? It's such a wide ranging topic.

You should seriously think about giving marriage a try, it makes the process a hundred times easier, makes it doable in fact, otherwise things are a non starter. In fact if your girl wanted to come to the UK ask yourself if you'd be prepared to marry her if that was the only way...or would you reconsider the relationship?

When I married my American wife she told me at the start we could end it if neither was happy. We're on our tenth year and ecstatically in love. Especially after the surprise trip to Paris I took her on last month...

(I am not an expert and my views are open to correction by more informed participants.)

AdobePinon

Perhaps you've read them, but missed the point of this one:

http://britishexpats.com/wiki/Pulask...ork_in_the_USA

You can't get a general purpose do anything visa. Without family already living there, you have to have a specific reason for going, and it has to be one of the reasons listed in the above link. If you let the board know which categories of visas may fit your plans, you'll get some better help here.

Noorah101

Hi and Welcome to BE.

This question is as far as anyone can discuss right now, since your other questions hinge on whether you can get a visa or not.

To be honest, a Manager in Distribution is probably not going to get you a work visa, unless you are already working for an international firm and can get a transfer. At your young age, I'm guessing you don't have enough cash to invest in a US business (several hundred thousand dollars), so that's probably out. You might want to think about getting a university degree in the USA and come over as a student, if you can afford that.

Those are your choices other than marriage. The USA really IS that difficult to get into, unless you have some very specialist skills, want to study in the USA, or marry a USC.

Rene

penguinsix

Hi,

The link in the previous post should be your starting point. Go through there to see what ones you feel you might have a shot at.

Basically, most of the people in a situation like you are going to be getting some bad news. The US immigration service really isn't helpful when it comes to courtship, and for employment they are looking for some high tech skills or big company connections. There really isn't a "get-to-know-my-US-girlfriend-better" visa available. The US is probably one of the hardest places to immigrate to legally absent those skills or family connections, so I'm afraid you might be in for a bit of negative news (please don't take it personally--the same reality confronts most hopeful immigrants).

Take a look at the link and see if you might (even remotely) qualify for any of those visas and we'll try to guide you as best we can. If we can find a visa then the other questions about money and culture and timing will be easier to answer. If not, it's a bit moot.

Noorah101

You guys met in Feb 2012, and had 4 months together in person at the beginning. You've managed to maintain a long distance relationship for over a year. My immigrant husband and I were about in the same boat when we took the leap of faith and did a K-1 fiancé visa for him to immigrate to the USA. We had a 2-year long distance relationship, and only saw each other in person a total of 4 weeks in person before deciding to commit. Been happily married 9 years now. When it's right, it's right.

Rene

Pulaski

Without getting married I believe that the chances of you getting a visa to work, in the short to medium term are slim to none. If you have already read the USA wikis in the tab above, particularly the two Pulaski wikis, you will already know the visa options. It is likely that the only option you have without getting married is to go back to college as a student, which allows only very modest work, and only on campus.

Over the five to ten year time frame it might be possible to get yourself into a position at the right employer to transfer you internally, but in your current occupation even that may be a long shot.

The time to get a visa, any visa, averages around 8-10 months, with employer transfers being significantly shorter, and ones with complications, such as a criminal record taking a year or more.

Culture? The US is a big place, and it varies A LOT. I tried New York, but that is like London on steroids; some like it, but it wasn't for me. Most of the US in area terms, is small town and rural, and you can get from the down town of most big cities to areas that are shockingly rural (farm houses and trailer parks) within a couple of hours, and sometimes a LOT less. Most people think of New York and LA when they think of the US, but those cities are far from typical, and I hear that Iowa is among the more rural and remote. Because of the size of the US it is likely that many of the residents of Iowa have never left the state, or only made occasional trips to neighboring states, or to Chicago.

Pulaski

Ditto, just about the same for Mrs P and me. We're an internet romance from the end of the last century, that we turned into a long distance relationship, and then marriage 20 months after we first "met", 17 months after we first met in person, and after only 6 weeks actual face-to-face time!

Bob

Marriage, study for a masters or possibly a internship depending on when you graduated are your only real options... Or a third party country.

WHV for Canada and she c can holiday there for 6 months, that would give you a short punt together to see if you want to go marriage route.

Culture shock and life style, really depends on expectations and money really and varies wildly, but many threads on the subject from home sickness, health, travel, food etc.

Good luck though and welcome to BE!

Leah326

Aww I love all these romantic stories and leaps of faith for love. Best of luck!

Peachbythebeach

Very similar here, met online and were married 20 months later to the day. We had only spent 3 weeks face to face prior to the wedding day. Scary when you look at in in retrospect, but our 9 year wedding anniversary is coming up next month.

You can tell from many stories on here, that when people knew, they just knew. My only caveat was that we were in our late 30's when we 'met' - so we had both been around the block a bit and were very certain of what we were looking for in a partner.

Best of luck with your situation.

Pulaski

Similar here, we were both in our 30's, and celebrated our 13th anniversary earlier this year, but, yes, very scary looking back!

scrubbedexpat099

I never realised you were just a boy, giving it all away.

Pulaski

I wish, because I certainly don't feel like a spring chicken.