dolega

I remember also living the double life at work in the lead up to my leaving the UK. That was a stressful experience. Both my wife and I decided that she would work in the US (being the US citizen and ICU nurse) and I would be the stay at home dad to our 1 year old. We've been in Sarasota 3 months and it has been difficult.. what with the adjustments. I miss my family and friends but this was what both my wife and I wanted for a few years now and, despite the difficulties in relation to the adjustments, things will turn out just fine. You will be fine too.

Brat1

I'm in exactly the same situation as you at the moment. We fly out to Connecticut mid February and I'm absolutely bricking it. I feel all the same emotions you do, apart from I am quite excited about it. We had to wait for several years for our visa (long story!!), so have had a long time to assess whether we were doing the right thing.

We have never been to Connecticut, so, like yourself, don't have a clue what to expect. What the place will actually be like, what the people will be like, what the kids will be like at school, because we have 3 older daughters, this is a big guilt trip for me.

I think you have to keep everything in perspective and as someone said before, look forward to a new future, new life and the chance to experience a different country and lifestyle which I think, can only be a good thing.

Yes, I'm having breakdowns just about every day now, but cannot wait to embark on a new chapter in our families life and hopfully, everything will work out. Please remember, you are definitely not alone and your feelings are absolutely normal.

Keep us posted how you're getting on and when you're due to leave and be positive.

MadRad

Hi,

I'm feeling a lot more positive again, though I expect I'll be fairly up and down over the next few weeks. I've handed in my notice at work - they were brilliant about it and it's a big relief to be out in the open. Now moving in the middle of March, so got a lot to do in the next few weeks. Got a fairly busy social life, finishing with our leaving party, which is giving me lots to look forward to.

So at the moment, things are looking up. It's an adventure, I guess.

dunroving

That's an understatement!

Having things in the open makes a world of difference.

I intend to start a thread on dealing with the whole work/double life/duplicity issue, whenever I can get my arse into gear.

Steerpike

I just saw a 'House and Garden' show covering the real-estate market in Fort Collins; it looks like a GREAT place to live! The downtown looks compact and with lots of shops/restaurants - walkable, etc. And you can buy a great house for $250k.

The weather seems interesting - hot summers but cold winters, with quite a bit of rain in the summer - this link compares FC to London. What I don't know is how humid it is in the summer. With all that rainfall, maybe it is humid, but not sure. Humidity is what kills you, not the heat (technically, 'dew point' is what matters).

I'm tempted to pay it a visit myself! You could do a LOT worse than Fort Collins, it seems!

knconsulting

Very normal feeling. My wife was sick in the airport on the way here. Colorado is a very nice state, supposedly the one with the highest quality of living in the US. I have friends living there (Americans) and they love it.

Everything is very different and will take some getting used to. But what's good and bad is entirely dependent on your personal taste. Note that certain things you may be used to, like normal chocolate or bacon, is not readily available. All chocolate here is very 'chemically' and tastes nothing like a proper Dairy Milk. Same for bacon- it's all 'streaky' and no one's even heard of 'back bacon.' But you can still get this stuff- BritishDelights.com will ship you crisps and chocolate and other such things... but they tend to be nearly out of date. They call real bacon 'Irish Bacon' here and you can get it in Wholefoods supermarkets- there are about 20 in Colorado.

We use Skype a lot to stay in touch with family in England- its free and the video is great. Still miss the UK a lot and plan on returning, but you can make a good life in the US for a bit less and it's good work experience, so it's not bad. Hope it works out very well and don't panic!

Steerpike

Two minor points ... first, 'domestic' (cheap) chocolate here may suck (Hershey's, etc) but you can buy lots of great European chocolate (Belgian, Swiss, etc) that is probably way better than Cadbury's Dairy Milk. May be a bit pricey but it's not like you can't find top-of-the-line chocolate!

Second, the real secret of success is not to try to find the things you miss, but to "replace" (displace) them ... so US bacon sucks; enjoy the much better pork ribs, or the fantastic steaks, or whatever (I have fallen in love with 'corned beef hash' as a breakfast food, for example...). The ONLY things I seek out now that are 'British' are Marmite and Twiglets. There is not one other food or drink from UK that I even think about ... and I'm a food fanatic.

knconsulting

It really depends on what you like. For us, 'European' chocolates taste terrible. But it's not really anything important. Steaks- no, English steaks taste way better, as they are not GM and are fed naturally on grass. US steak is heavily GM, is slaughtered after only one year, reared in a 10' x 10' pen it's entire life, and is corn fed (makes them put on much more fat). But again, it depends. If you are happy with Asda steaks, you'll be delighted in the US. If you buy organic at your local farmers market, shop at Waitrose, or order Donald Russell, you won't find anything to compare. Except the price- food is much cheaper here, especially eating out!

trottytrue

MadRad...I have read your posts and I am sure you will be fine but there are a couple of things I noticed, your comment 'trailing spouse' whose idea was it to move to the US. The other thing was you said you had been ill depending on what the illness was and how long ago it was they do say you should not make any big decision for 2years.
Don't close all the doors when you leave... an idea leave a window open

trottytrue

Brat1.... You mentioned you are taking your 3 daughters with you can I ask how old they are. Will they be in Middle school or High School. We live in New hampshire not too far from Connecticut.

Brat1

Our daughters will be 16, 12 and 10. The oldest will be going to High School, the middle one will be going to middle school and we are still debating whether our youngest will be in elementary or middle. I am waiting on a response from the 2 schools to see.

Steerpike

I suspect you have not been here very long. There is a very wide range of beef (steaks) available here. I was raised in the UK and it was not until I came here that I discovered good tasting steaks. I suspect both countries have good and bad. You just have to care to look. I think you'll find it is cheaper here, though, even for the good stuff.
There is a ton of organic beef (though typically grain-fed) available here; anyone buying beef from Safeway or Albertsons or whatever is buying crap.

And you can get plenty of grass fed beef:
http://www.eatwild.com/products/california.html
http://www.lazy69ranch.com/
http://www.wisefoodways.com/bay/meat.php
http://www.highsierrabeef.com/
http://wholefoodsmarket.com/storeblo...ed-beef-event/
(I could list hundreds).

Same goes for vegetables. If you buy the cheap stuff at Safeway you are asking for trouble but if you pay a bit more at Whole Foods, you'll get very good quality.

tonrob

No offence SP, but weren't eggs still powdered when you left the UK....? The quality of food in the UK has come a long way over the years.

And, while I'm on...

Ewwwwwww...........

Steerpike

I never had the time or the money to shop for 'quality' ingredients when I was there - shops always seemed to be closed when I was not working and able to shop (I hear that has changed now!) and I never made enough money to be able to afford to eat out regularly. So I'm willing to believe that on the UK side, I was not exposed to the best ingredients. But anyone who makes blanket statements about the beef being crap here is simply not looking in the right places.

trottytrue

Brat1.....How do the girls feel about moving schools have you looked on the schools websites to see what their curriculums are. The reason I am asking is because if you look on other forums of those wanting to return to the UK one of the reasons they don't is because the children do not want to move. Just wondering how you approached it with yours.