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-   -   Fear of Moving: The What-If Syndrome (https://britishexpats.com/forum/usa-57/fear-moving-what-if-syndrome-189550/)

MarsBar Nov 7th 2003 4:35 am

Fear of Moving: The What-If Syndrome
 
Ive posted this on another forum, but Id appreciate the feedback from BritishExpats as well. Any advice or support would be much appreciated. A quick bit of background info so you know where Im coming from. Im a USC married to a UKC and we're both living in the UK.

PS: Yorkie, thanks for the info in your PM. I'll reply properly asap.


Greetings,

Well the visa is in hand, as you all know, and the move is slowly getting underway. House to sell, old paper and magazines to throw away (a whole room of them, infact), jobs to find, cars to finance. We're not even in the US yet and its all starting to get on top of me. I'll warn you now, this is more of a theraputic post for my own benefit than it will be for yours, but should you decide to bear with me and forge ahead, I'd like to thank you for your time in advance.

I saw a program on TV last night called "No Going Back", perhaps some of you UKers also saw it. Although it was a very good show, it was heart-wrenching to watch this UK family give up everything to forge boldly and rashly into a new life in France. They bought an old wreck of a "Grade 1" protected Tuscan farm that nearly drove them into financial ruin and almost took the life of the Husband/Father by an unfortunate tractor accident.

I spose the whole thing about financial ruin hit me harder than Id realized, because last night I started to get really nervous. Today I was almost in a daze with bottled concern. Ive spent so much time and emotional effort keeping a happy and calm face on for Martin that when I do get nervous about moving back to the US, it all comes in a windfall. I hope those of you who've stuck with me so far might be able to offer a bit of advice or support.

Its been a few years since Ive lived in the states, and even then - I moved away when I was just 19. I'd had a bank account for about a year when I closed it down and that was well over 2 years ago. I only really worked a few hours a week for less than a year. Ive no credit in the states and neither does Martin (UKC Husband) so Im a bit concerned, as Im sure you can understand, that when we get to Texas we'll have trouble getting vital things like bank accounts, mortgages, car financing etc. I think Id feel better if we could at least apply for a mortgage pre-approval to have SOMETHING that says, "we think youre a decent risk" but alas, Martin needs his Social Security number which we wont get until we move. Feels like a Catch-22.

Has anyone else been through this? Im sure loads of people have but of course they never seem to be around when you need them. Houston appears to be an immigrant hot-spot, but lets remember its Black Gold Country and most immigrants are there thanks to Big Oil which means Big Money and in a lot of cases, corporate support. Not so in our case.

Its a depressed area as far as other job sectors are concerned and the housing is affordable because the supply outweighs demand. Martin and I werent concerned about this fact because we were hoping to be fully supported by our self-owned business, which isnt even taking customers yet. I dont see how we can move without taking jobs for the time being. Martin's only sector is IT which is as depressed as you can get, and I manage to dabble in this or that but have no "in-demand" skill sets. So one can see why Im a bit stuffed for confidence at the moment.

What were your experiences from trying to get bank accouts, mortgages, car financing, jobs? Any advice, tips, pointers or even reccomendations would be awfully helpfull.

Thanks again for your support, even if all you can offer is a Taco Bell Nacho's Bell Grande to lift my nervous spirit. (All donations of comfort food by way of Taco Bell Nachos and Chalupas are much appreciated and should be sent via FedEx or UPS as Royal Mail (UK) has backlogs so huge that the food would most likely spawn an advanced sentient culture before making its way to my front door. Thank you.)

Cheers,

Sarah

BrigieDarling Nov 7th 2003 12:47 pm

Hi Sarah and welcome to British Expats!

Wow! You seem a bit overwhelmed don't you? I'm trying to think how I would aproach a similar move!

Make list... and prioritize the items on it.

Contact anyone I know or future employers in Texas -- Put out the word so to speak!

Gather all the information I can about the sale of my house and cars etc.... Ask Estate Agents about the lenght of time it usually takes to sell house etc... look into renting a flat if it sold quickly!

Remember the reason why you are moving in the first place (whatever that may be) and if you can do all this to leave the UK... You can just as easily do it again to leave the US if that day should come!

Relax and take a deep breath.... keep us informed here, and all the best!

:cool: Brigie

NC Penguin Nov 7th 2003 1:10 pm

From your description, you're much like a British couple moving to the US because you, the USC, doesn't have much of an American background to fall back on.

Despite that, you probably know how to construct an American resume, don't you?

I've not seen the show you mention but if I were you, I'd take it with a pinch of salt because it is TV and hence, the drama of events is what gets people glued to the TV so the show's probably not a balanced account of people upping sticks and moving overseas.

All I can suggest while you're both in the UK is to research as best you can the ways to create your credit histories, buy/rent a home and of course, find employment.

Reading this forum and the immigration forums would probably help lots too! :)



NC Penguin

MarsBar Nov 7th 2003 1:22 pm


Originally posted by NC Penguin

I've not seen the show you mention but if I were you, I'd take it with a pinch of salt because it is TV and hence, the drama of events is what gets people glued to the TV so the show's probably not a balanced account of people upping sticks and moving overseas.

Ya know, Im the kind of person that would say exactly that in most cases and yet I hadnt even thought about it in this one. Youre right, it should be taken with a pinch of salt.

On the other hand, I know no matter how dramatized the show may have been, it still brought to the surface valid concern thats been bubbling away in me for some time.

And yes, youre right - we're basically in the same boat as a British couple moving to the states. Of course lots of couples in that boat are moving to the US because of work transfers and have total corporate support. Wouldnt that be nice?



Originally posted by BrigieDarling

Make list... and prioritize the items on it.

I like lists. Lists are good. Im good at lists. So good infact that my husband wont let me go into the stationary part of shops because I will only buy more paper to write lists on. And pens. Lots of pens.

Yes I may very well be mad :)

Cheers for the replies.

Sarah

NC Penguin Nov 7th 2003 1:31 pm

Are you close to any family in the US that of a similar age to yourself?

If so, those relatives could perhaps give you insight into life in the US.

There's quite a number of British Expat members who live in Texas. Do you know which city/area of Texas you'll move to? Letting us know that would be helpful.

I've never been to Texas so I can't comment on Texas.




NC Penguin

MarsBar Nov 7th 2003 1:43 pm


Originally posted by NC Penguin
Are you close to any family in the US that of a similar age to yourself?

Do you know which city/area of Texas you'll move to?

NC Penguin
As for family of my age - no. In all of my immediate and extended family I am the only one of my age. My mom lives in Texas, which is one of the reasons we're moving there, but she's decided now that Im coming home she doesnt want to live in Texas anymore. How nice.

We're going to Houston TX.


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