Anian

My daughter has, and therefore I have, been "invited" to a father-daughter dance at her school. I've always been creeped out by the concept, it seems like a combination of incest and ownership of daughters. There isn't a mother-son dance, and that would be just a creepy, maybe they got rid of it after Psycho.

So what is it all about? Is it meant to be a formal dance, and get dressed in a tux, or is it more relaxed? The little flyer I have on it says nother about clothes or musical content, no doubt because everyone is supposed to know these things. Bear in mind that my daughter is only five, but loves to dance a lot. I used to be very self-conscious about dancing, being horribly bad at it, but since then I mysteriously gained the ability to move in time with music and I really don't care how silly I look anyway. Sad how these skills appeared after I left the dating scene and got married. So I'd be fine with wearing jeans and just boogying to Lady Gaga, but anything more than a generic suit is going to make me put this kind of thing off until she is much older (she will be one of the youngest there anyway).

Bob

I think it all depends on the school, the age of kids and all that guff...

Friends have mentioned it being pretty serious, with getting dressed in tux's and the works, all the way down to being fairly casual for younger kids.

For younger kids, it does sound kind of fun...but when they get older, it does start to sound really creepy doesn't it

Uncle Ebenezer

I'm with you on the "weird" factor - like the way over here children send their parents valentine cards and vice versa.

Carolina Tiger

We had one at my daughter's last school and she asked if I wanted to go and I said, "no way, You've seen me dance". She agreed saying, she didn't want to be embarrassed. She's only seven. They learn quick.

Yorkieabroad

I got dragged to one last year with my 5 year old girl scout (Daisy). It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be, but not exactly on top of my things to do list for next year. Dress code wasn't specified, so I went sort of casual/biz casual. You could spot all the other Brit dads there, cos they were the only ones not in checky shirts, cowboy boots and stetsons.....well, we are in Texas! I can't imagine either she or I would want to be still going to them when she's Middle School or older.....

dunroving

Clothes are compulsory.

But seriously, I've seen a couple of documentaries on US father-daughter dances, and also one that had something to do with daughters being virgins (I can't recall exactly, but it was some sort of celebration of chastity and daughters making a vow to their fathers that they will save themselves until they get married). Both seemed pretty creepy.

It's one of those things that can be either creepy (especially as presented by a British documentary), or if indeed it celebrates in a completely innocent way the special relationship between a daughter and father, could be looked at as being a refreshing alternative to the early sexualisation of girls in modern society.

As pointed out, though, if it were mother-son it would probably be looked at as being rather odd, which perhaps highlights some subverted ancient male power thing that I don't know enough sociological terminology to describe.

One of my best pals in the US has always taken his daughter (who is now about 25) out for lunch and other stuff like that. He has always done the same with his son (who's now 19). That seemed like a normal part of a healthy parent-child relationship. There's something about the idea of a "dance" for dads and daughters that seems a bit different and more creepy compared to the special stuff my pal does with his kids.

kimilseung

Is the father-daughter dance regional? I see Texas mentioned, hang on Anian is in WA, my neck of the woods; I have not heard of them before.

My daughters school did have a fathers night, it was themed, but that was just to get the fathers involved, probably a hang over from the days when mothers stayed at home and fathers were at work during school time.

I forget what the themes were, but one year we went in fancy dress, as Arthur Dent (me in bath robe and towel) and Zaphod Beeblebrox (daughter with extra head stuck on her neck). Sadly no one knew who we were supposed to be.

Sally Redux

I think they do have mother-son dances?

We didn't attend either sort - it seemed to be taken seriously with a theme for dressing up (not HHGTTG )

All the school dances seem very highly restricted and no fun at all - so you then have the extra expense and faff of 'after parties' as they get older.

robin1234

Fortunately we were spared all of this.. my kids routinely discarded any note or other communication they were told to give us.

Kaffy Mintcake

I have fond memories of dressing up as a little girl and accompanying my father (who wore a suit, I believe) to a father-daughter dance. I'm pretty sure I stood on his shoes while we danced. There was nothing creepy about it at all, I thought it was fun and think it was sweet now that I look back. I was probably 5 or 6 years old.

Bob

When you're 5-6, it is cute. It is a little creepy when they are 17-18 though.

Kaffy Mintcake

That's just plain weird! However, that makes me wonder ... what does everyone think about a father-daughter dance at the daughter's wedding? I never thought of that as creepy, though I didn't do it myself.

Jerseygirl

None of the 2 schools my daughter went to here had father/daughter dances. I remember one of her friends...who went to a different high school...had a father/daughter formal dance. I didn't think much of it at the time and still don't. When my daughter was in her late teens she stood in for me at formal functions with her dad. I can't see anything wrong with that...she was a confident young adult accompanying her very proud father.

Bob

Father-Daughter dance at a wedding isn't a celebration of virginity though is it.

Sally Redux

Having one dance with your Dad isn't creepy, being his date for a whole dance maybe is? Just not something we are familiar with in the UK I suppose.