expectant mothers & immigration
Jul 13th 2002, 6:32 pm
#1
Just Joined
Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 4
expectant mothers & immigration
hi i am a uk citizen, my gf lives in NY. last month she came down for a 2wk visit , etc etc, and a few days ago i she found out she was pregnant (shes back in NY)
i am a student in UK, on my final year of honours bsc. cs. i dont know how anything works, immigration, etc, i have questions like, what citizenship will my baby inherit? what does immigration say about expectant mothers. ? benefits? etc.
We come from quite a religious background, and our parents are not happy on us being together, the thought of pregnancy would kill them.
i do not yet have a stable income, and i am still attending university. I am willing to move to NY, but the costs of living, and then marrying, then waiting for workers permit to work, and applying endlessly for jobs, are .. stressfull to even think about.
she doesnt mind dropping the baby, its only 4-5 wks old. but i dont know, i dont want to do it, i want this baby to see the world and i want to be proud of it. i am horrified at even thiking about abortion.
i cannot talk to her, she just seems too stressed out. i am the one being looked at for all the solutions. i have talked to a few understanding friends, but no solutions.
i just dont know what to do. all i do is smoke and smoke and smoke and sleep and wake up and smoke. can someone please advise me on what they would do in such a situation?
i am a student in UK, on my final year of honours bsc. cs. i dont know how anything works, immigration, etc, i have questions like, what citizenship will my baby inherit? what does immigration say about expectant mothers. ? benefits? etc.
We come from quite a religious background, and our parents are not happy on us being together, the thought of pregnancy would kill them.
i do not yet have a stable income, and i am still attending university. I am willing to move to NY, but the costs of living, and then marrying, then waiting for workers permit to work, and applying endlessly for jobs, are .. stressfull to even think about.
she doesnt mind dropping the baby, its only 4-5 wks old. but i dont know, i dont want to do it, i want this baby to see the world and i want to be proud of it. i am horrified at even thiking about abortion.
i cannot talk to her, she just seems too stressed out. i am the one being looked at for all the solutions. i have talked to a few understanding friends, but no solutions.
i just dont know what to do. all i do is smoke and smoke and smoke and sleep and wake up and smoke. can someone please advise me on what they would do in such a situation?
Jul 13th 2002, 6:51 pm
#2
Forum Regular
Joined: Jul 2002
Location: Oklahoma USA ex UK
Posts: 201
Re: expectant mothers & immigration
Ok, first of all, calm down a little, its stressful and nerve racking I know, but its not all that bad really, once you know what you are doing and have a goal.
You have several options open to you. The first is that you move to the US to be with your girlfriend, and to do that you have to get married to her when you get there in order to remain there on a permanant basis. This procedure is called ther K1 Visa, and they are issued to fiances of Us Citizens.
In short, your fiance submits a petition (I 129F) for you to the INS, which can take anything from several weeks to several months to get approved.
Once that is approved you may apply for a Visa via the US Embassy in London. Not all that long after sending off your forms, you get invited to an interview at the embassy. This also includes a medical examination.
Once that is done you get your visa, can travel to the USA as a nonimmigrant fiance and then marry and apply to remain. We sent the I129F in October 2001, it was approved in February, I got interviewed in March and was here on 1st May. We married on the 8th May.
The other option is her coming to the UK, which we looked into also and involves here applying for leave to enter the UK through the British Consulate. By all accounts it is a similar procedure but I don't know much about it.
You will have to wait for a work permit, but not all that long if you get married quickly by all accounts.
You have several options open to you. The first is that you move to the US to be with your girlfriend, and to do that you have to get married to her when you get there in order to remain there on a permanant basis. This procedure is called ther K1 Visa, and they are issued to fiances of Us Citizens.
In short, your fiance submits a petition (I 129F) for you to the INS, which can take anything from several weeks to several months to get approved.
Once that is approved you may apply for a Visa via the US Embassy in London. Not all that long after sending off your forms, you get invited to an interview at the embassy. This also includes a medical examination.
Once that is done you get your visa, can travel to the USA as a nonimmigrant fiance and then marry and apply to remain. We sent the I129F in October 2001, it was approved in February, I got interviewed in March and was here on 1st May. We married on the 8th May.
The other option is her coming to the UK, which we looked into also and involves here applying for leave to enter the UK through the British Consulate. By all accounts it is a similar procedure but I don't know much about it.
You will have to wait for a work permit, but not all that long if you get married quickly by all accounts.
Jul 13th 2002, 7:04 pm
#3
Just Joined
Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 4
Re: expectant mothers & immigration
if only i had a womb, it would make life much more easier.
Jul 13th 2002, 7:17 pm
#4
Pagan Sex God
Joined: May 2002
Location: Living in Oblivion
Posts: 3,668
Re: expectant mothers & immigration
Your looking for life advice over specific visa advice and thats fair enough as the song goes - there are more questions than answers.
I am not a lawyer but I think the baby will be able to get both a British and US passport. I wouldn't worry too much about what immigration (us) say about expectant mothers as she would sponsor you if you decided to go out there.
This is a bit of life advice but no matter religious believes of your parents you should speak to them - parents can be a lot more understanding than you think. It is easier to honest know and get a little hassle than deceive them and face more hassle later. But they are your parents and you know them best.
It is to both of you to decide whether you should drop out of University and go to the US, she can sponsor you on a K1 fiance visa and you can work quite quickly after you wed. The big question is do you want to live in the US without a degree.
Whatever decision you make you both must agree with and I think you need the support of both your parents to get through this. Is she willing to come over to the uk, it is easier for a us citizen to get temporary residence here after you are married, it takes a 8 weeks and she is immediatley entitled to NHS cover which will save you an awful lot of money as it is expensive in the us. I am not a lawyer so I recommend looking into uk immagration before going down that road.
Advice is something you ask for when you already know the answer but the best advice I have is this too shall pass. Good luck whatever you decide.
I am not a lawyer but I think the baby will be able to get both a British and US passport. I wouldn't worry too much about what immigration (us) say about expectant mothers as she would sponsor you if you decided to go out there.
This is a bit of life advice but no matter religious believes of your parents you should speak to them - parents can be a lot more understanding than you think. It is easier to honest know and get a little hassle than deceive them and face more hassle later. But they are your parents and you know them best.
It is to both of you to decide whether you should drop out of University and go to the US, she can sponsor you on a K1 fiance visa and you can work quite quickly after you wed. The big question is do you want to live in the US without a degree.
Whatever decision you make you both must agree with and I think you need the support of both your parents to get through this. Is she willing to come over to the uk, it is easier for a us citizen to get temporary residence here after you are married, it takes a 8 weeks and she is immediatley entitled to NHS cover which will save you an awful lot of money as it is expensive in the us. I am not a lawyer so I recommend looking into uk immagration before going down that road.
Advice is something you ask for when you already know the answer but the best advice I have is this too shall pass. Good luck whatever you decide.
Jul 13th 2002, 8:21 pm
#5
Forum Regular
Joined: Jun 2002
Location: SF
Posts: 69
Re: expectant mothers & immigration
Uk Citizen,
This is my idea......
How does your girlfriend feel about migrating to the Uk? This would be the only way you wouldn't have to drop out of school and stay jobless in the US while waiting for the INS to complete the process. Furthermore if your girlfriend agrees to relocate, once the baby is born, the baby can still get US citizenship through the mother. I believe all she has to do is report to the US Embassy in the UK and they will give her a report of birth overseas (I am not sure what it is called). You won't have to worry because the baby will have dual citizenship and you can start thinking of relocating to the US (if you want to) after you have finished school.
This is my idea......
How does your girlfriend feel about migrating to the Uk? This would be the only way you wouldn't have to drop out of school and stay jobless in the US while waiting for the INS to complete the process. Furthermore if your girlfriend agrees to relocate, once the baby is born, the baby can still get US citizenship through the mother. I believe all she has to do is report to the US Embassy in the UK and they will give her a report of birth overseas (I am not sure what it is called). You won't have to worry because the baby will have dual citizenship and you can start thinking of relocating to the US (if you want to) after you have finished school.
Jul 14th 2002, 6:20 am
#6
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: expectant mothers & immigration
I had a similar experience - I am from Australia and became pregnant with my US
boyfriend on a two week visit. He had a stable job while mine would not offer me any
support for maternity leave so, after lots of consideration, I decided to stay in the
US when I stopped work (I was temporarily in the US for work).
I understand the stress your girlfriend is under. It was a horrible few months (first
trimester) for me because I was overwhelmed with hormones, felt very alone, and
started to realize how much help / support i wanted and needed from a fairly young
relationship. Its not a nice time to be seperated and unsure.
Also, I was reluctant to tell my parents... worried they would judge the whole
"internet relationship" thing and consider it a really bad idea to go stay in the US
far from family. Actually, they suprised
me. Sure, they spoke their minds but were also a huge help to me. I wouldn't have
made the move without them.
you say you "can't talk to" your girlfriend. I would keep trying, just listening.
Honestly, the times my boyfriend called adn just listened and reassured me that we
would cope however... were the best.
Everyting worked out well for us, I have yet to have our green card interviews, but,
regardless, i have a happy, healthy one year old who looks JUST like his dad and we
are a happy couple despite the stresses of small babies! As others have said, you
have a number of choices, but asking for help from those around you is a first step.
Shannon
boyfriend on a two week visit. He had a stable job while mine would not offer me any
support for maternity leave so, after lots of consideration, I decided to stay in the
US when I stopped work (I was temporarily in the US for work).
I understand the stress your girlfriend is under. It was a horrible few months (first
trimester) for me because I was overwhelmed with hormones, felt very alone, and
started to realize how much help / support i wanted and needed from a fairly young
relationship. Its not a nice time to be seperated and unsure.
Also, I was reluctant to tell my parents... worried they would judge the whole
"internet relationship" thing and consider it a really bad idea to go stay in the US
far from family. Actually, they suprised
me. Sure, they spoke their minds but were also a huge help to me. I wouldn't have
made the move without them.
you say you "can't talk to" your girlfriend. I would keep trying, just listening.
Honestly, the times my boyfriend called adn just listened and reassured me that we
would cope however... were the best.
Everyting worked out well for us, I have yet to have our green card interviews, but,
regardless, i have a happy, healthy one year old who looks JUST like his dad and we
are a happy couple despite the stresses of small babies! As others have said, you
have a number of choices, but asking for help from those around you is a first step.
Shannon
Jul 17th 2002, 4:20 pm
#7
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: expectant mothers & immigration
Your future in-laws will soften when they know you have their grandchild coming.
Grandchildren soften all relations.
--
Johnson "UKCitizen" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> hi i am a uk citizen, my gf lives in NY. last month she came down for a 2wk visit ,
> etc etc, and a few days ago i she found out she was pregnant (shes back in NY)
>
> i am a student in UK, on my final year of honours bsc. cs. i dont know how anything
> works, immigration, etc, i have questions like, what citizenship will my baby
> inherit? what does immigration say about expectant mothers. ? benefits? etc.
>
> We come from quite a religious background, and our parents are not happy on us
> being together, the thought of pregnancy would kill them.
>
> i do not yet have a stable income, and i am still attending university. I am
> willing to move to NY, but the costs of living, and then marrying, then waiting for
> workers permit to work, and applying endlessly for jobs, are .. stressfull to even
> think about.
>
> she doesnt mind dropping the baby, its only 4-5 wks old. but i dont know, i dont
> want to do it, i want this baby to see the world and i want to be proud of it. i am
> horrified at even thiking about abortion.
>
> i cannot talk to her, she just seems too stressed out. i am the one being looked at
> for all the solutions. i have talked to a few understanding friends, but no
> solutions.
>
> i just dont know what to do. all i do is smoke and smoke and smoke and sleep and
> wake up and smoke. can someone please advise me on what they would do in such a
> situation?
>
>
>
> --
Grandchildren soften all relations.
--
Johnson "UKCitizen" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> hi i am a uk citizen, my gf lives in NY. last month she came down for a 2wk visit ,
> etc etc, and a few days ago i she found out she was pregnant (shes back in NY)
>
> i am a student in UK, on my final year of honours bsc. cs. i dont know how anything
> works, immigration, etc, i have questions like, what citizenship will my baby
> inherit? what does immigration say about expectant mothers. ? benefits? etc.
>
> We come from quite a religious background, and our parents are not happy on us
> being together, the thought of pregnancy would kill them.
>
> i do not yet have a stable income, and i am still attending university. I am
> willing to move to NY, but the costs of living, and then marrying, then waiting for
> workers permit to work, and applying endlessly for jobs, are .. stressfull to even
> think about.
>
> she doesnt mind dropping the baby, its only 4-5 wks old. but i dont know, i dont
> want to do it, i want this baby to see the world and i want to be proud of it. i am
> horrified at even thiking about abortion.
>
> i cannot talk to her, she just seems too stressed out. i am the one being looked at
> for all the solutions. i have talked to a few understanding friends, but no
> solutions.
>
> i just dont know what to do. all i do is smoke and smoke and smoke and sleep and
> wake up and smoke. can someone please advise me on what they would do in such a
> situation?
>
>
>
> --
Jul 17th 2002, 5:19 pm
#8
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 717
Re: expectant mothers & immigration
The baby will have US and British citizenship regardless of whether it is born in the US or UK.
If you want to have a part in the baby's life, one of you will have to immigrate - and the easiest way is through marriage.
The simplest solution is probably for your gf to move to the UK - both from the ease of immigration and childbirth choices and support - she'd be fully entitled to NHS maternity care.
Pregnancy isn't really a factor in immigration - it doesn't make you any more or less entitled, nor does it speed anything up. If she moves to the UK, she could be over there in no time - the visa is issued the same day when you apply in person. If you go to the US, it will take a minimum of 3 months to get your visa.
I think the main thing you have to decide is what you where you want to be in the next few years - you don't have to think any further out than that.
Congrats on the baby and good luck in whatever you decide.
If you want to have a part in the baby's life, one of you will have to immigrate - and the easiest way is through marriage.
The simplest solution is probably for your gf to move to the UK - both from the ease of immigration and childbirth choices and support - she'd be fully entitled to NHS maternity care.
Pregnancy isn't really a factor in immigration - it doesn't make you any more or less entitled, nor does it speed anything up. If she moves to the UK, she could be over there in no time - the visa is issued the same day when you apply in person. If you go to the US, it will take a minimum of 3 months to get your visa.
I think the main thing you have to decide is what you where you want to be in the next few years - you don't have to think any further out than that.
Congrats on the baby and good luck in whatever you decide.
