AmerLisa

Just hoping you'll be happy some day, Elvira. I can't see where that's a snide remark. Take it as you want though.....

meauxna

So, for some, it wouldn't matter what was available in the new place, 'home' simply can't be replaced and is the most important thing. Is that right?

I don't want to put words into your mouths, Elvira & Cherylbe, but this has crossed my mind before (I've been in situations similar to that myself), so the Q is up for anyone of the folks that are eternally unhappy in the US (or wherever if you're reading here). Is it that nowhere else would do and so, the adopted country has no 'chance' with you?

Sally Redux

It does come over as snide.

AmerLisa

If I was happy, I surely wouldn't be wishing unhappiness on other people. I only wish her to be happy. I have no reason not to, sorry if that seems insensitive or snide.

Elvira

First, I am not 'eternally unhappy' here - I have a lot of good days, and on the whole I manage quite well. Secondly, we did not come here for the 'American Dream', or because we thought our lives would be better here - just different. Third, we never planned to stay here for ever after - we always planned to return to the UK once DH retires.

I'm a big girl, and fortunate enough to be able to afford regular trips back home, so if it were just a bit of homesickness or 'not quite belonging', I could manage. The one huge thing I battle with is the fact that none of our sons managed to settle here, in one instance with really difficult long-term consequences. So it's the overwhelming guilt which at times plays havoc with my equilibrium.

But I'm not looking for pity. We all have our crosses to bear, and overall life is not bad at all. And when all things are said and done, there's still opera

chocchipcookie

Going back to the original post I think commitment is hugely important. If you have at the back of your mind "I can always go home" then you perhaps won't make the effort to really settle. I can't go back, I have two children who are very settled here and my husband is American with a business here. So I've made a huge effort to integrate.

When I go back to the UK I feel it's home but at the same time I don't totally belong there.

Good luck, let us know how it goes!

Bob

makes no difference though, those things are a over simplification and aren't the only things that make someone either enjoy or not enjoy things here or else where.

Cherylbe

Are you drinking? Did you even READ what I said? or you are being a PITA

Let me repost what I said and this time READ it
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I think like any place you live you are going to have things you love, hate and miss.
I wouldn't trade my time here for anything I did a lot of growing up and have four great kids, but yes I had my moments that no amount of friends could help me with.
I had my bouts of missing home, always around xmas time, things are diffrent thats for sure. As for the "dream" well thats what you make it.
I am moveing home back to the UK in January and really looking forward to it, I feel that my time here is done and I want to be around my family and friends. I have been gone 15 years and feel that my kids should know what its like to have a family outside of me and the dad.

chrisfromusa

take me with you I wanna get out of here hahaha

Cherylbe

Well leaving Jan 20010, heading to Bedford, will pick up on the way out

Jerseygirl

uk2ny...please do not open multiple threads on the same subject because it is very confusing. I can't remember which thread I posted in...this one or the one in the MBTTUK forum. Thank you.

Cherylbe

Thank you! I thought I as being a air head when I saw it over in MBTTUK

Jerseygirl

Ditto...although our daughter has a life this side of the pond now...so our problem is the reverse of yours.

meauxna

Hi, nice to meet you.

Sorry my post rankled (it's worth READing too).

Englishtart

Yes, it's a simple view, but I think it covers pretty much most of it. Elvira isn't comfortable with her life here for whatever reason, so she isn't happy...simple enough to me