Dougster75

Well this is weird. Woke up this morning with an uncanny desire to blow my brains out.

I've read other posts about a depressive stage sometime after moving here but didn't expect it to happen to me - at least not this quickly. On the face of it, our lives should be perfect - or at least a lot better than in the UK. But something just doesn't seem to be gelling and my temper is a lot worse here than in the UK even though I should be more relaxed.

Has anyone else gone through this - any tips (other than the gun...)?

Cheers,

Doug.

Rete

Why do you think you should be more relaxed? Seems like you would be suffering more anxiety, depression and loneliness here at least for the first 6 to 12 months.

Tips? Get over it. If you need a pill to chill, then find a doc. Lock up the guns and give the wife the key to hide. If you're going to off anyone, don't take anyone else with you. And do it in a way that is not messy.

fatbrit

Get out of Houston!

Dan725

Ya know, I find life is just not as relaxing here, despite having a "standard of living" above that in the UK. With me, it is probably as much to do with my family situation as anything else - didn't have a daughter in the UK! And of course my old favorite, not having as much time off work here.

But there are other things also - to me the whole culture and way of life just seems busier.

My tip is though....you can't beat it, so might as well join it. While it's hard not to, don't go comparing anything in your day to day life with the UK. Just take it as you find it, and you'll feel a lot better for it. If you do want to talk about some comparison that you really can't let go - best place to do that is on this board!

surly

If you should decide, America is a good place for getting a gun.

Dougster75

Thanks for tips ... before this thread turns into a suicide advice line, I should mention that the blowing brains out thing was a figure of speech and not a plan...

Kate2112

Hi Doug,

I'm sorry you're feeling the blues. It really does seem to happen to most people even if there doesnt seem to be any reason for it. Try taking deep breaths when you want to lose your temper, take a walk and walk it off if you can. Speak to your family and let them know its a bit of an adjustment for you - they might tell you its the same for them.
Dont bottle it up it will make it a lot worse. Despite some of the less than sympathetic advise you've got so far - come here and let it out too.
Take care

Leslie

Don't get anti-depressants on your insurance. You don't want to be tagged with that forever.

St. John's Wort and melatonin at bedtime ... in the morning you'll feel right as rain. Or not.

cathy22w

I agree with this. The general pace does seem faster and more demanding. I attribute it to not enough vacation time and complete dependence on caffeine. That and the generally crappy diet many people live on. Surprising having moved back to the UK recently, I have found our 'bland' diet quite refreshing because generally things don't seem over-salted or over-sweetened. I've been back for 3 weeks and already lost a good 10 pounds.

You can have everything within arm's reach, all the food, all the gadgets, all the good weather you want, but I found the pace really demanding and at times hard to live up to. I agree with trying not to compare with life in the UK, but it will take some adjusting. Added to this, with the holidays it is difficult as far as missing family, too.

Here's a suggestion - exercise. Join the Y or something, or go for a run/walk. Great for stress.

Good luck.

nettlebed

Took me five years to feel at home here, and several times over the first couple in particular I got seriously homesick and very depressed. At times it was almost like a physical pang.

Your "on the face of it" doesn't cut it when working with feelings, though, as you have found out.

When I got low, I always said to myself that I couldn't expect moving countries to be trouble-free, and reminded myself that living here was a conscious choice, and being happy here might be something I actively had to work at. That always helped me feel that things would work out OK eventually, which they did.

How does the family feel?

You'll get over it...

dunroving

Of the 10 inter-city/inter-country moves and 30-odd house moves I've made, about 80% of the former and fewer of the latter have resulted in some really difficult times, especially in the first 6 months. As you have said, on the face of it it doesn't make sense (in fact, at other times, you might feel great about the move, which makes you feel even more crazy).

It's normal, but knowing that fact doesn't always make it easy to deal with. Make sure you talk it through with your F&F (and on here!) and don't bottle it up. I'm a firm believer in the importance of one or two special people who you can connect with in your new work, community, etc. That only comes with time - in the meantime, bitch on here all you want, most of us have been there at some time or other.

And stay away from guns.

Dan725

Oh, I don't know...I'd say get a gun, actually - shooting is fun and a good stress reliever

joto

Try a water gun or water pistol. It will cool you down in the Texas heat.

Sally Redux

I get very depressed sometimes, it's not that unusual and I think some of it is linked to the uncertainties of modern life, lacking traditional support networks and stuff like that. Tread warily with anti-depressants, try to find someone to talk to.

lella

Know how you are feeling. I returned to the U.K after a year and am now having to apply for everything again so that I can return to the U.S.
Nothing is how you are thinking it is in the U.K anymore this country has gone to the dogs, I just wish I had been more sensible when I was in the states and had not given in to the homesickness. I now find myself comparing the 2 countries on a daily basis and the U.S wins everytime. I know when I go back to the states I will start thinking about the U.K and its good points I just have to remind myself that there are very few of those points left now. Hope you start to feel better!!