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Dillema-cut ties with UK?

Dillema-cut ties with UK?

Old Mar 7th 2005, 12:34 am
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Default Dillema-cut ties with UK?

Just recently found this website and wish I'd found it sooner. My hubby and I have been in Texas for 4 years on an international contract and the time has come to make a decision to stay and go 'local' or go back to Scotland. Problem is-this is hubbys dream job and we are all very happy here. He's been offered a job back in Scotland but it is less pay and effectively a demotion but it is our chance to get back home and get the kids back into the British school system. Eldest is almost 9 so don't want to mess him around education wise. We have a house in Scotland that we are prepared to sell but something inside tells us not to, even though we would make a killing on the sale! If we sold then we would pretty much be here indefinitely. Anyone going/gone through the same thing? How does it feel to know your house is sold? Anyone go through a 'mourning' period?
Any comments would be appreciated....
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Old Mar 7th 2005, 12:52 am
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Default Re: Dillema-cut ties with UK?

Originally Posted by MrsG
Just recently found this website and wish I'd found it sooner. My hubby and I have been in Texas for 4 years on an international contract and the time has come to make a decision to stay and go 'local' or go back to Scotland. Problem is-this is hubbys dream job and we are all very happy here. He's been offered a job back in Scotland but it is less pay and effectively a demotion but it is our chance to get back home and get the kids back into the British school system. Eldest is almost 9 so don't want to mess him around education wise. We have a house in Scotland that we are prepared to sell but something inside tells us not to, even though we would make a killing on the sale! If we sold then we would pretty much be here indefinitely. Anyone going/gone through the same thing? How does it feel to know your house is sold? Anyone go through a 'mourning' period?
Any comments would be appreciated....
A few things come to mind after reading your post:

1) what is your visa status in the US? If your husband is on an H-1B, it is possible in the future that he may be made redundant and the whole family have to return to the UK at short notice.
In fact, just today, I heard of a British lady who's husband was just laid off this past Friday and the family are now preparing to the leave the US promptly.

2) You mention your eldest child is now 9. Should you remain in the US when he is of an age to go to university, have you made or will you make financial arrangements for him to be able to do this?

3) If neither you or your husband has at least a Green Card and no independent means of obtaining one (i.e. not through your husband's employer. Employers may say that they will get one but this decision can change at a drop of a hat), if I were you, I'd think twice about selling your house in the UK for the reason given above in point 1).

That's my 5 cents...



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Old Mar 7th 2005, 1:00 am
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Default Re: Dillema-cut ties with UK?

Originally Posted by MrsG
Just recently found this website and wish I'd found it sooner. My hubby and I have been in Texas for 4 years on an international contract and the time has come to make a decision to stay and go 'local' or go back to Scotland. Problem is-this is hubbys dream job and we are all very happy here. He's been offered a job back in Scotland but it is less pay and effectively a demotion but it is our chance to get back home and get the kids back into the British school system. Eldest is almost 9 so don't want to mess him around education wise. We have a house in Scotland that we are prepared to sell but something inside tells us not to, even though we would make a killing on the sale! If we sold then we would pretty much be here indefinitely. Anyone going/gone through the same thing? How does it feel to know your house is sold? Anyone go through a 'mourning' period?
Any comments would be appreciated....
To contrast with NC Penguin's view... we arrived here just about 2 years ago (we're in Texas too) on an H1B, and sold our house in the UK just as quick as we could. We felt no mourning for the damned place, but then we didn't like our house in the UK much!

NC's right that it can be a delicate situation if you don't have a Green Card... but hell, life's short. Our view was that we should just "go for it" and see what happened. Yes, I could lose my job and have to return the family to the UK. Yes, my company could fail to get us our Green Cards... but we have every confidence that it'll all turn out OK.

...and if it doesn't, would having a house in the UK make it any easier to have to pack up your life here and go back? It certainly wouldn't for us.
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Old Mar 7th 2005, 1:00 am
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Default Re: Dillema-cut ties with UK?

Originally Posted by MrsG
We have a house in Scotland that we are prepared to sell but something inside tells us not to, even though we would make a killing on the sale! If we sold then we would pretty much be here indefinitely. Anyone going/gone through the same thing? How does it feel to know your house is sold? Anyone go through a 'mourning' period?
Any comments would be appreciated....
We also moved to the US 4 years ago and kept our house. We knew at the time that a 'property crash' was a real possibility, and that we might well be better off selling.

No way! Never, ever, would I sell my home! I know we could have sold the house for more than it is worth now. I realize that the property value situation is going to get worse before it'll get better. But I would find it really difficult to sell my home back in England. I think I would feel completely lost and extremely insecure.

Having said that, I guess I would feel differently if the house were to be left empty for a year or so. So ask me again in 18 months time... (Our tenants have just agreed to review for another year - yuppeeh!)
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Old Mar 7th 2005, 1:00 am
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Default Re: Dillema-cut ties with UK?

Husband is on L-1, I'm L-2 and company are ready to put us through the Green Card process.
Can afford to put eldest (and other 2 kids) through university if we sell the house. I did read on a thread recently that if my eldest wants to go back to the UK to study then he will have to pay full foreign fees, which scared us!
We are not particularly homesick but maybe it's because we still have our house back there, therefore not sure how we'd feel if we sold up.
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Old Mar 7th 2005, 3:04 am
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Default Re: Dillema-cut ties with UK?

Originally Posted by MrsG
Just recently found this website and wish I'd found it sooner. My hubby and I have been in Texas for 4 years on an international contract and the time has come to make a decision to stay and go 'local' or go back to Scotland. Problem is-this is hubbys dream job and we are all very happy here. He's been offered a job back in Scotland but it is less pay and effectively a demotion but it is our chance to get back home and get the kids back into the British school system. Eldest is almost 9 so don't want to mess him around education wise. We have a house in Scotland that we are prepared to sell but something inside tells us not to, even though we would make a killing on the sale! If we sold then we would pretty much be here indefinitely. Anyone going/gone through the same thing? How does it feel to know your house is sold? Anyone go through a 'mourning' period?
Any comments would be appreciated....
Sold my flat in London recently. No mourning period, as I'd bought it while I was overseas, with the intention of moving into it on return to Uk, but then got married, had kids, and all of a sudden it wasn't big enough! I know plenty of people who have kept their houses on, rented them for their time abroad, but then not wanted to live in them when they go back. Maybe their family situation has changed, maybe their lifestyle or income level has changed, or maybe its just not "their" home any more after being rented out for however many years. But even if you don't want to live in that specific house again, at least having a presence in the property market gives you some sort of hedge against movements in property prices - you've just got to make sure that the hedge is in the right sector of the market (If we ever go back, we'll probably live in Yorkshire, so my 2 bed flat in central london was about as much use as a choccy teapot for hedging purposes!)
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Old Mar 7th 2005, 3:28 am
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Default Re: Dillema-cut ties with UK?

Originally Posted by MrsG
Can afford to put eldest (and other 2 kids) through university if we sell the house. I did read on a thread recently that if my eldest wants to go back to the UK to study then he will have to pay full foreign fees, which scared us!
Is there a way he can do a gap year in the UK of working and living like a student (eg cheaply), and thereby becoming emancipated from y'all (his parents) with respect to paying fees? Here there is an emancipation if you provide more than half your support for two consecutive years, or if you are over 22, or if you are in graduate school.
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Old Mar 7th 2005, 3:53 am
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Default Re: Dillema-cut ties with UK?

Wow.... the emancipation rules are far stricter than I would have imagined.

Your son would have to do *three* gap years.... but there are exceptions if his parents' job(s) are considered temporary or permanent. And owning property in the UK is one factor that can help establish residency for the purpose of education fees there.

See:

http://www.dfes.gov.uk/international...s/tukwis.shtml

(I'm a curious sort and someday I'd love to attend a British uni myself!)
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Old Mar 7th 2005, 4:36 am
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Default Re: Dillema-cut ties with UK?

We have only been here for 16 months and have just put our house on the market. Not because we want to stay here but because we could not rent it out (its a 5 bedroom place in a village so not an ideal rental property). With our mortgage having gone up 5 times since we arrived, we can't absorb that cost so it has been with a really heavy heart that we have decided to sell it.
I feel very unsure about the whole thing and very insecure. We are going to invest the money so that we have a 'nest egg' when we go back. That house was the only 'thing' I have for security. We are here for my husbands job, we are in rental at the moment and I feel very unsettled.
I am finding it a real struggle to allow myself to settle here. I absolutely love it but can't shake the guilt I feel when I think about my mum missing out on my kids.
I am not really sure why I have answered this thread but it sounds like you are torn as I was feeling too.
Hope it all works out for you.
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Old Mar 7th 2005, 11:52 am
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Default Re: Dillema-cut ties with UK?

We feel the same. We have lived here for just over 2 years and still have our house in the UK. We are working our way through the GC process and until we hear either way would like to hold onto our house in the UK. We visited recently and had every intention of selling it but although our house is small (we had plans passed to extend it just before we came here) the area we live in is great and we have got great neighbours so decided to keep it for as long as we can.

We dither between going back or staying. Our eldest son is 16 so we can't dither for too long about this. My husband recently started to check out work options in the UK and it brought it home to me that I wasn't ready to return yet. The area we live in is great and there is so much that I still want to see and do here, that when I really thought of going home it didn't seem so appealing. Yet, I am not sure if I want to stay here forever. The only trouble is with teenagers is that they may decide to stay themselves.

The whole thing goes round and round my head so I know exactly where you are coming from but can't offer any advice!
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Old Mar 7th 2005, 12:29 pm
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Default Re: Dillema-cut ties with UK?

That's exactly how we feel-"torn". Not ready to go home yet as there is still so much to do and see over here. We love the lifestyle, not the material things (well we like them too really) but more the fact that the kids can play outside safely on their bikes without sweaters in winter, or play in the sprinklers at 8pm.
Husbands parents are the only Granparents our kids have and there is a lot of pressure from them to come home, but we try not to let that sway our decision. It goes round and round in our heads all the time and we really stress about it...
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Old Mar 7th 2005, 1:14 pm
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Default Re: Dillema-cut ties with UK?

Originally Posted by MrsG
Just recently found this website and wish I'd found it sooner. My hubby and I have been in Texas for 4 years on an international contract and the time has come to make a decision to stay and go 'local' or go back to Scotland. Problem is-this is hubbys dream job and we are all very happy here. He's been offered a job back in Scotland but it is less pay and effectively a demotion but it is our chance to get back home and get the kids back into the British school system. Eldest is almost 9 so don't want to mess him around education wise. We have a house in Scotland that we are prepared to sell but something inside tells us not to, even though we would make a killing on the sale! If we sold then we would pretty much be here indefinitely. Anyone going/gone through the same thing? How does it feel to know your house is sold? Anyone go through a 'mourning' period?
Any comments would be appreciated....


Have sent you a PM

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Old Mar 7th 2005, 1:34 pm
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Post Re: Dillema-cut ties with UK?

We left the UK 10 years ago (it was only supposed to be for 11/2 to 2 years and we still haven't returned to live there yet!).

We still have our small house in a village just outside the M25/M11 in Essex which we've rented out at less than the prevailing market price as we've then ended up with long-term tenants (we did have one disaster a few years ago) but our current tenants have been in the house for about 3 years and want to renew for another year at least.

I will never live there again (by choice) but it is like a 'security blanket' as we are still on L1-L2 visas. Our daughter is at university in London and will not be living in the US when she graduates....it may well be the case that she may end up living for a while in the house, although she keeps dropping hints that perhaps we ought to sell it and buy a flat in Richmond-upon-Thames or Twickenham LOL! I will always hope to keep a property in Blighty as I would like to retire there one day and I want to stay in the UK property market regardless of whether prices go up or down.

As 'Snowbunny' mentioned, it did help with Home Status for university fees purposes that we had retained a property in the UK (only for the University of Southampton but she turned down a place there anyway) but it isn't mandatory to own a property - you just need to show that you (still) have ties to the UK. Our daughter pays no tuition fees at all for her course. Mrs G: if your eldest is 16 it is quite possible that he could go to a UK university and only have to pay the UK Home student fees (nothing at all if you're from Scotland!) if you're still on L1/L2 visas when he applies and is assessed.

I wouldn't dream of selling a house in the UK until I knew I had permanent residency approved elsewhere....over the years have seen people having to return to the UK unexpectedly due to illness, redundancy, family obligations etc. and not just from the US. Basically, what I'm saying is: don't sell unless you have a Green Card.
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Old Mar 7th 2005, 1:34 pm
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Default Re: Dillema-cut ties with UK?

Originally Posted by MrsG
That's exactly how we feel-"torn". Not ready to go home yet as there is still so much to do and see over here. We love the lifestyle, not the material things (well we like them too really) but more the fact that the kids can play outside safely on their bikes without sweaters in winter, or play in the sprinklers at 8pm.
Husbands parents are the only Granparents our kids have and there is a lot of pressure from them to come home, but we try not to let that sway our decision. It goes round and round in our heads all the time and we really stress about it...
Hmm - personally I can see a pattern here maybe.
The wife and I were living with my parents in the UK up until 1 week ago, when we just moved back to NH.

We went through the same dilemma - going round and round in our heads, for nearly 3 months - deciding wether we should move back to the US, or stay in the UK and set up our business there. Working out all the fiddly pros amd cons - then changing our minds....ad infinitum......
It was very tough working it all out - and to be honest - close family members dont help quite often - as thier opinions of what you should do are based upon THIER agendas, though they might not realize it (God Bless 'em) - so may not have your families (kids, hubby etc) best interests entirely at heart.

In truth I think it can amount to a little emotional co-ercion (sp?)

I would throw your worries to the wind (sounds good eh?) - and stay - as long as you are all happy. And shelve the decision for a few months or years, if you can.

If the way forward is so obscure and confusing for you, why blunder forward into the darkness??

I think ExPats will always be caught between two worlds.

Good luck!
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Old Mar 7th 2005, 1:52 pm
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Default Re: Dillema-cut ties with UK?

Originally Posted by Englishmum
We left the UK 10 years ago (it was only supposed to be for 11/2 to 2 years and we still haven't returned to live there yet!).

We still have our small house in a village just outside the M25/M11 in Essex which we've rented out at less than the prevailing market price as we've then ended up with long-term tenants (we did have one disaster a few years ago) but our current tenants have been in the house for about 3 years and want to renew for another year at least.

I will never live there again (by choice) but it is like a 'security blanket' as we are still on L1-L2 visas. Our daughter is at university in London and will not be living in the US when she graduates....it may well be the case that she may end up living for a while in the house, although she keeps dropping hints that perhaps we ought to sell it and buy a flat in Richmond-upon-Thames or Twickenham LOL! I will always hope to keep a property in Blighty as I would like to retire there one day and I want to stay in the UK property market regardless of whether prices go up or down.

As 'Snowbunny' mentioned, it did help with Home Status for university fees purposes that we had retained a property in the UK (only for the University of Southampton but she turned down a place there anyway) but it isn't mandatory to own a property - you just need to show that you (still) have ties to the UK. Our daughter pays no tuition fees at all for her course. Mrs G: if your eldest is 16 it is quite possible that he could go to a UK university and only have to pay the UK Home student fees (nothing at all if you're from Scotland!) if you're still on L1/L2 visas when he applies and is assessed.

I wouldn't dream of selling a house in the UK until I knew I had permanent residency approved elsewhere....over the years have seen people having to return to the UK unexpectedly due to illness, redundancy, family obligations etc. and not just from the US. Basically, what I'm saying is: don't sell unless you have a Green Card.

Englishmum

Have u been on the L1-L2 the entire time u have been in the US??, as we have been told there is a 7 year max

I have been talking to the uni's in Scotland, and it makes no difference if you own a property there or not. If you accept the green cards, then u are automatically regarded as a foreign student.

Other than owning a house/business, how can you prove you still have ties?

SOrry to ask so many questions, but we have to make the decision either today or tomorrow, as to whether we accept the card, as the dead line is Friday. It is the uni thing that has brought this all about

The only way round this is, as far as I have been told, is to return to the UK permanently 3 years prior to the kids going to Uni, and u can still retain ur green card.

The thought of paying $25,000 for the next 7/8 years , when he eventually goes, in 3 years time, (he wants to do medicine), make me feel sick, when the UK alternative is so much more appealing LOL

It was always our intention to send the kids there anyway.

HELP...

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