Difficult to make friends in America?
Nov 14th 2012, 7:45 pm
#121
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Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
dlake02- You're a real hoot. I like you already.
Nov 14th 2012, 7:48 pm
#122
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Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
Yes - All of the various regions of the US are different. I grew up in the very conservative South, went to college in Florida, lived in Boston during one design-development project, moved to Las Vegas for another engineering project assignment, another project in LA, etc. So I know intimately that we're all different regionally, but overall, we're still unified ultimately with what I have described. And no, we don't talk about money constantly. Football, well maybe, but not constantly about money.
I can almost guarantee that most Americans get goose bumps and the hair raises on their arms when they hear the American National Anthem. Not everyone of course, but most of us, regardless of where we're from, regardless of whether we are black/white/green, and regardless of whether we are Democrats, Republicans, and others.
Why would soomeone say that I disrespected other cultures? The topic was how to make friends here, not how to introduce your culture. Our cultural differences make us all interesting to each other, or at least hopefully.
I can almost guarantee that most Americans get goose bumps and the hair raises on their arms when they hear the American National Anthem. Not everyone of course, but most of us, regardless of where we're from, regardless of whether we are black/white/green, and regardless of whether we are Democrats, Republicans, and others.
Why would soomeone say that I disrespected other cultures? The topic was how to make friends here, not how to introduce your culture. Our cultural differences make us all interesting to each other, or at least hopefully.
Nov 14th 2012, 7:49 pm
#123
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Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
This all makes a change from "they are all friendly up north, but put ferrets down their trousers' and 'they are all stuck up down south, but have got the blitz spirit'.
As a post or two earlier said, we make our friendships easiest when we are younger and finding our place in the world, when we are finding people we choose, to replace our family.
Isn't it just our age (I am sure we as a group span a few generations, but most of us are not under-graduates or back-packers any more)
As a post or two earlier said, we make our friendships easiest when we are younger and finding our place in the world, when we are finding people we choose, to replace our family.
Isn't it just our age (I am sure we as a group span a few generations, but most of us are not under-graduates or back-packers any more)
Nov 14th 2012, 7:53 pm
#124
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Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
Sally Redux - I agree with you, from what my British friends have told me. There is more of a culture of socializing around the workplace in the UK than here. We just don't have that here, at least not on a grand scale as the UK probably does. Just like it would probably be insulting if I moved to the UK and didn't want to go to the bar with coworkers just because I thought that it was a bit too weird and too informal. Different cultures are just that - different.
Nov 14th 2012, 7:56 pm
#125
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Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
Sally Redux - I agree with you, from what my British friends have told me. There is more of a culture of socializing around the workplace in the UK than here. We just don't have that here, at least not on a grand scale as the UK probably does. Just like it would probably be insulting if I moved to the UK and didn't want to go to the bar with coworkers just because I thought that it was a bit too weird and too informal. Different cultures are just that - different.
Nov 14th 2012, 7:57 pm
#126
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Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
I don't remember any office gatherings in the UK, with exception to Christmas one year, but after that no. There was never any talk of going after work for a beer, but maybe that was because we lived a considerable distance from his job. Not sure. However, in his jobs here there have been quite a few work gatherings, specifically during the day (and yes they drink alcohol when they go and have lunch) and so he has more of a chance to join in, even though again, we live quite a distance away from his office.
Nov 14th 2012, 7:57 pm
#127
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Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
Sally Redux - I agree with you, from what my British friends have told me. There is more of a culture of socializing around the workplace in the UK than here. We just don't have that here, at least not on a grand scale as the Uk probably does. Just like it would probably be insulting if I moved to the UK and didn't want to go to the bar with coworkers just because I thought that it was a bit too weird and too informal. Different cultures are just that - different.
I think that those who assimilate into the new culture that they have moved to will find more meaningful relationships. I visited Bordeaux, France this year and met many nice French people. They were a bit standoffish at first but warmed up the minute I tried to speak my pidgeon-French. They saw that I was trying to speak to them in their own language, even if all I could say was 'Where are the restrooms, please?" and "I would like to have the steak with fries, please", and then they warmed up a lot. Maybe it's the same way here. Possibly?
I think that those who assimilate into the new culture that they have moved to will find more meaningful relationships. I visited Bordeaux, France this year and met many nice French people. They were a bit standoffish at first but warmed up the minute I tried to speak my pidgeon-French. They saw that I was trying to speak to them in their own language, even if all I could say was 'Where are the restrooms, please?" and "I would like to have the steak with fries, please", and then they warmed up a lot. Maybe it's the same way here. Possibly?
Nov 14th 2012, 7:58 pm
#128
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Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
Sally Redux - I agree with you, from what my British friends have told me. There is more of a culture of socializing around the workplace in the UK than here. We just don't have that here, at least not on a grand scale as the UK probably does. Just like it would probably be insulting if I moved to the UK and didn't want to go to the bar with coworkers just because I thought that it was a bit too weird and too informal. Different cultures are just that - different.
Nov 14th 2012, 7:59 pm
#129
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Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
Sally - He could be correct. It could be that his former company had really fantastic employees who were even better friends. It could be the particular company that he works for in the US, also.
Nov 14th 2012, 8:00 pm
#130
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Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
AmerLisa - There was even a report on the news just this past week that Americans as a whole are less likely to go with coworkers to the bar after work. As a whole.
Nov 14th 2012, 8:02 pm
#131
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Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
Sally Redux - I agree with you, from what my British friends have told me. There is more of a culture of socializing around the workplace in the UK than here. We just don't have that here, at least not on a grand scale as the Uk probably does. Just like it would probably be insulting if I moved to the UK and didn't want to go to the bar with coworkers just because I thought that it was a bit too weird and too informal. Different cultures are just that - different.
I think that those who assimilate into the new culture that they have moved to will find more meaningful relationships. I visited Bordeaux, France this year and met many nice French people. They were a bit standoffish at first but warmed up the minute I tried to speak my pidgeon-French. They saw that I was trying to speak to them in their own language, even if all I could say was 'Where are the restrooms, please?" and "I would like to have the steak with fries, please", and then they warmed up a lot. Maybe it's the same way here. Possibly?
I think that those who assimilate into the new culture that they have moved to will find more meaningful relationships. I visited Bordeaux, France this year and met many nice French people. They were a bit standoffish at first but warmed up the minute I tried to speak my pidgeon-French. They saw that I was trying to speak to them in their own language, even if all I could say was 'Where are the restrooms, please?" and "I would like to have the steak with fries, please", and then they warmed up a lot. Maybe it's the same way here. Possibly?
Yeah maybe we should try our pidgin English.
Nov 14th 2012, 8:05 pm
#132
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Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
Americans go to a restaurant for a meal and some will order a beer
Nov 14th 2012, 8:06 pm
#133
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Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
It depends on who you're asking Colorado Girl. If you're asking a group of married people with kids, then you're right it isn't going to happen as much. Where is your link for this report?
Nov 14th 2012, 8:10 pm
#134
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Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
Pidgin English. That would help. Start with the "I ain't got no . . . ". That really helps with building relationships. (That was a joke 
).
Not socializing? I never said that. Just not necessarily with coworkers (but please still try). A lot of 20-something kids still go to the bars with coworkers, but that dies out when they start having kids. Go to the sports bars and chat about the local teams. Or join a film or book club or go to a local festival. You meet a lot of people at events. Or go roller skating/blading or picnicing in the park (Seriously. I'm 46 yrs old and roller blade in the park with people of all ages).
Get out there and meet people. The library, the supermarket. Just start up a conversation. Lots of Americans love to talk and would love to listen to you talk about yourself and your interests. You also sound like a lovely, intelligent lady and I bet you have a lot of talents and hobbies that people would love to hear about. Knitting? Fantastic! Love to cook? Sounds great. Never give up trying to make friends. You have a lot to offer to people and should be appreciated for who you are and what you are all about.
).Not socializing? I never said that. Just not necessarily with coworkers (but please still try). A lot of 20-something kids still go to the bars with coworkers, but that dies out when they start having kids. Go to the sports bars and chat about the local teams. Or join a film or book club or go to a local festival. You meet a lot of people at events. Or go roller skating/blading or picnicing in the park (Seriously. I'm 46 yrs old and roller blade in the park with people of all ages).
Get out there and meet people. The library, the supermarket. Just start up a conversation. Lots of Americans love to talk and would love to listen to you talk about yourself and your interests. You also sound like a lovely, intelligent lady and I bet you have a lot of talents and hobbies that people would love to hear about. Knitting? Fantastic! Love to cook? Sounds great. Never give up trying to make friends. You have a lot to offer to people and should be appreciated for who you are and what you are all about.
Last edited by Colorado Ski Girl; Nov 14th 2012 at 8:18 pm.
Nov 14th 2012, 8:22 pm
#135
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Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
Uncle_Bob - That's pretty funny, actually. And true. We go to restaurants to eat and then order a beer or soda. I guess one also goes to a bar here, verses a restaurant, to get a drink and maybe food. Bar to drink, restaurant to eat.