Dallas - Your Top 5 Pro's and Cons
#63
Banned
Joined: Mar 2006
Location: Orlando,Florida,living in Buckinghamshire for next 6 weeks.
Posts: 1,416
#65
Banned
Joined: Mar 2006
Location: Orlando,Florida,living in Buckinghamshire for next 6 weeks.
Posts: 1,416
#67
Re: Dallas - Your Top 5 Pro's and Cons
I'm going to Texas (Galveston) for work tomorrow. Should I be worried that it's full of nasty people?
#68
Re: Dallas - Your Top 5 Pro's and Cons
You will have to surrender your car at the border. You will be required to ride around on the back of a pot bellied pig - we don't like no new fandangled driving machines scaring our livestock. Do not make eye contact with any people of color - if you are caught you will be hanged for consorting with the enemy. In fact - it's just best to shoot a black person as soon as you get here. You can then tie their carcass to the back of your pig mobile and you will be "in" with the locals. DO NOT bathe, use deodorant, brush your teeth or shave for 72 hours prior to arrival. We do not trust men that smell perfumy.... plus you will be shot for being a big fat homo. As a matter of fact it's best to just shoot a gay person up arrival - you can tie the gay carcass to the back of the black carcass that is tied to the back of your pig mobile - then we will elect you governor.
#69
Re: Dallas - Your Top 5 Pro's and Cons
You will have to surrender your car at the border. You will be required to ride around on the back of a pot bellied pig - we don't like no new fandangled driving machines scaring our livestock. Do not make eye contact with any people of color - if you are caught you will be hanged for consorting with the enemy. In fact - it's just best to shoot a black person as soon as you get here. You can then tie their carcass to the back of your pig mobile and you will be "in" with the locals. DO NOT bathe, use deodorant, brush your teeth or shave for 72 hours prior to arrival. We do not trust men that smell perfumy.... plus you will be shot for being a big fat homo. As a matter of fact it's best to just shoot a gay person up arrival - you can tie the gay carcass to the back of the black carcass that is tied to the back of your pig mobile - then we will elect you governor.
1. What kind of choice do I have with regard to the gun I assume they'll issue me on arrival at the airport?
2. Do the carcass-dragging pigmobiles have decent trunk space and is there a hook to hang a suit? I'll be doing some survey work and going to a meeting while I'm there.
3. Is it a good thing to tell people that I'm in Texas doing work on behalf of that there fancy pants yankee Federal Guvmint?
#70
Re: Dallas - Your Top 5 Pro's and Cons
OK so a couple of practical questions:
1. What kind of choice do I have with regard to the gun I assume they'll issue me on arrival at the airport?
2. Do the carcass-dragging pigmobiles have decent trunk space and is there a hook to hang a suit? I'll be doing some survey work and going to a meeting while I'm there.
3. Is it a good thing to tell people that I'm in Texas doing work on behalf of that there fancy pants yankee Federal Guvmint?
1. What kind of choice do I have with regard to the gun I assume they'll issue me on arrival at the airport?
2. Do the carcass-dragging pigmobiles have decent trunk space and is there a hook to hang a suit? I'll be doing some survey work and going to a meeting while I'm there.
3. Is it a good thing to tell people that I'm in Texas doing work on behalf of that there fancy pants yankee Federal Guvmint?
#71
Re: Dallas - Your Top 5 Pro's and Cons
Yes you will be issued a gun upon entry of the United States of Texas - However, if you speak in full sentences and act all high falutin they'll give you a girls gun and then laugh at you. Be manly!! Burp, fart and spill food down the front of your overalls - the overalls that they issue you at the border when they confiscate that gay homosexual suit you THINK you'll be wearing.
#73
Re: Dallas - Your Top 5 Pro's and Cons
I wouldn't mention you work for the carpetbaggers .... or revenuers.... cos that would make YOU a bigger target than the two you'll be dragging around.
Suit? It's gonna be HOT, boy. Best you wear those overalls but smarten them up by wearing a t-shirt underneath, okay?
Suit? It's gonna be HOT, boy. Best you wear those overalls but smarten them up by wearing a t-shirt underneath, okay?
#74
Re: Dallas - Your Top 5 Pro's and Cons
Just a couple of observations to report following my brief trip to Texas:
1. Some of the beach houses on the west end of Galveston Island are HUMONGOUS. Simply unbelievable.
2. There seems to be no getting away from Fox News in TX: It was on everywhere: shops, restaurants, hotel lobby, the cafeteria in the office we went to for a meeting, and basically everywhere in Houston Hobby airport.
One more thing: I didn't see a single person wearing a cowboy hat. But I did see quite a few nodding donkey oilwells.
1. Some of the beach houses on the west end of Galveston Island are HUMONGOUS. Simply unbelievable.
2. There seems to be no getting away from Fox News in TX: It was on everywhere: shops, restaurants, hotel lobby, the cafeteria in the office we went to for a meeting, and basically everywhere in Houston Hobby airport.
One more thing: I didn't see a single person wearing a cowboy hat. But I did see quite a few nodding donkey oilwells.