Culture shocks?
Sep 8th 2008, 2:08 am
#181
Banned
Joined: Jul 2008
Location: Bay Area, California
Posts: 826
Re: Culture shocks?
You don't have to worry about the 56 year old "retired programmer". He retired because he wanted to and he retired with a fully paid for million dollar home and over a million dollars in the bank.
I think it would behoove you to worry more about the poor people in this world.
I think it would behoove you to worry more about the poor people in this world.
and I really couldn't give a toss about you. San Jose is a pit though, so sympathies.
Last edited by Kali-forniarrr; Sep 8th 2008 at 2:12 am.
Sep 8th 2008, 2:34 am
#182
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jun 2008
Location: San Francisco Bay Area
Posts: 10,678
Sep 8th 2008, 3:55 am
#184
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jun 2008
Location: San Francisco Bay Area
Posts: 10,678
Sep 8th 2008, 7:02 am
#186
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Nov 2007
Location: Bay Area, CA
Posts: 13,103
Re: Culture shocks?
All I have seen here in the last nine years is lots of people being thrown to the wolves: Probably not to dissimilar to that 56 year old "retired" programmer in the SJ box condo. I have seen lots of hard working, well deserving colleagues shat on by employers, no severence, usual out the door crap. I suspect its probably why you are asking questions about retirement because of some flaky start up situation...let's face it US employers and partnership. That's a joke. If you think otherwise, good luck for the remaining years you have trying to eek it out.
I have a healthy degree of scepticism because I have worked and survived (so far) in corporate here, I know the shitty culture and the two faced nature of US employers. Its just a question of time.
Best of luck in suburban, dreary, White Nut Creek. I know I'll be heading offshore for some decent sailing when my time comes. Just hope the dollar is worth something when I flog this gaff. Thankfully I kept one in London. SF is just a port of yester year. You can't even eat the fish...
I have a healthy degree of scepticism because I have worked and survived (so far) in corporate here, I know the shitty culture and the two faced nature of US employers. Its just a question of time.
Best of luck in suburban, dreary, White Nut Creek. I know I'll be heading offshore for some decent sailing when my time comes. Just hope the dollar is worth something when I flog this gaff. Thankfully I kept one in London. SF is just a port of yester year. You can't even eat the fish...
Sep 8th 2008, 10:17 am
#187
Forum Regular
Joined: Dec 2007
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 93
Re: Culture shocks?
There a lots of things that come to mind, and I'm sure you'll get a great list here.
...but what really shocked me was how serious "culture shock" actually is.
Read about the four stages of culture shock (and Google for more articles). The first weeks and months are wonderful, during the Honeymoon phase. It's after that that the real trouble can start, and you'll be much better off if you're ready for it. The Rejection stage, for me, lasted nearly 3 years, and I'm still not completely out of it. A strong, even aggressive dislike of many aspects of the host culture can lead to very tough times, sometimes resulting in real depression.
You'll get through it, and come to accept and appreciate your new home, but it can take a surprisingly long time.
In the meantime, enjoy your honeymoon period when you arrive - it really is a blast!
...but what really shocked me was how serious "culture shock" actually is.
Read about the four stages of culture shock (and Google for more articles). The first weeks and months are wonderful, during the Honeymoon phase. It's after that that the real trouble can start, and you'll be much better off if you're ready for it. The Rejection stage, for me, lasted nearly 3 years, and I'm still not completely out of it. A strong, even aggressive dislike of many aspects of the host culture can lead to very tough times, sometimes resulting in real depression.
You'll get through it, and come to accept and appreciate your new home, but it can take a surprisingly long time.
In the meantime, enjoy your honeymoon period when you arrive - it really is a blast!
I can remember each of those phases and examples in each! Amazing and I had no idea that 4 stage process existed
Sep 8th 2008, 2:22 pm
#189
Banned
Joined: Sep 2008
Location: Tampa Bay area.
Posts: 1,429
Re: Culture shocks?
Here in Florida, I notice that one of the main questions Americans ask is what are the differences between the UK and the USA. Answer, Everything. because basically everything IS different. The climate, the food, the "football", the laws, the people (definately the people), the way of life, cars, driving habits, manners, money, employers, etc etc etc.
We speak the same language (except we don't really), but apart from that, nothing is really the same. I came to realise very quickly after I moved here, that what another English person who had out lived here a long time already told me was pretty accurate. "You may be living in a country that has English as it's first language, but it's still a foreign country".
Hope you enjoy it out here when you get here, you'll enjoy the change... for a start anyway
All the best!
Sep 8th 2008, 2:32 pm
#190
Banned
Joined: Sep 2008
Location: Tampa Bay area.
Posts: 1,429
Re: Culture shocks?
[QUOTE=dbj1000;6731988] The Rejection stage, for me, lasted nearly 3 years, and I'm still not completely out of it. A strong, even aggressive dislike of many aspects of the host culture can lead to very tough times.QUOTE]
Good point, the "honeymoon" stage is fun, and agreed, the period afterwards can certainly feel much less so.
Thank goodness that I'm not the only one that felt that way, I'm wondering how long it takes for the idea of not being able to settle here generally lasts for.
All the best.
Good point, the "honeymoon" stage is fun, and agreed, the period afterwards can certainly feel much less so.
Thank goodness that I'm not the only one that felt that way, I'm wondering how long it takes for the idea of not being able to settle here generally lasts for.
All the best.
Sep 8th 2008, 2:40 pm
#192
Banned
Joined: Sep 2008
Location: Tampa Bay area.
Posts: 1,429
Re: Culture shocks?
Just thought of another one, the laziness and reliance on cars. I was amazed when I first came here and went to a grocery store with an American driving. They'll circle the parking lot 2 or 3 times to get as close to the door as possible rather than walk an extra 50 yards.
The same with going to the gym. So you are going to a place to run and exercise, but heaven forbid you have to walk a short distance from your parked car to do so
The same with going to the gym. So you are going to a place to run and exercise, but heaven forbid you have to walk a short distance from your parked car to do so
Good point It's crazy, but it's completely true. When I first sat in the car with someone doing that I couldn't believe it. It seems like it's a case of "let's waste five minutes driving around the car park to try and save ourselves a 30 second walk". It's insane.
Sep 8th 2008, 3:00 pm
#193
Banned
Joined: Sep 2008
Location: Tampa Bay area.
Posts: 1,429
Re: Culture shocks?
Wow! Thank you for all your posts- keep them coming!
Quite a few of you have mentioned racism and prejudice as one of your main culture shocks and from what I can tell you seem to be based in quite different parts of the country. How wide spread do you think such attitudes are? Is it mostly a small town mentality? I know it's a big country and hard to generalise but am curious to hear about specific examples etc...
Cheers.
Quite a few of you have mentioned racism and prejudice as one of your main culture shocks and from what I can tell you seem to be based in quite different parts of the country. How wide spread do you think such attitudes are? Is it mostly a small town mentality? I know it's a big country and hard to generalise but am curious to hear about specific examples etc...
Cheers.
Racism exists certainly. Surprisingly, it seems that Florida has its fair share of it.
I have heard people openly say that they wouldn't vote for Barrack Obama because they don't want a black President. Of course, some of them put it a little more bluntly than that.
I don't know how widespread the attitudes are in the country as a whole, but I do know that it doesn't just extend to working (or non-working) class people. It seems that a good amount of churchgoers from middleclass backgrounds have the same ideals.
It's pretty sickening to think that it actually exists, but it does.
Sep 8th 2008, 4:45 pm
#194
Thought is free.
Joined: Aug 2008
Location: Dallas, Texas
Posts: 1,116
Re: Culture shocks?
In regards to racism, I have found that it is what is not said but implied via body language or tone of voice that you have to look out for, whereas back home the racists just tell you on your face what they think of you - I know from first hand experience. I don't know which is worse
Sep 8th 2008, 4:52 pm
#195
Banned
Joined: Jul 2008
Location: Bay Area, California
Posts: 826
Re: Culture shocks?
Wow. Such bitterness! You've been here 9 years, you don't like it, but you stick it out, and spend lots of energy each day pissing and moaning on this forum. What a life! Well, best of luck to you in your future; I hope all this suffering turns out to be worth it, and you find your own bit of paradise in the world.
What I suspect is the nub of your discomfort in your response, is that my comments about working culture here are a bit too close to home? Especially in view of the amount of pink slips ever flying around flaky start ups. I merely recognize and objectively state the instabilty of these shaky grounds. In the meantime, I'm happy to profit as much as possible and tell it like it is as a helathy check.
Paradise this place certainly isn't. Moreover I think I'd go mental and really would become bitter if I had to live in Walnut Creek of all places. Each to their own.
Last edited by Kali-forniarrr; Sep 8th 2008 at 5:10 pm.