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Cold Feet about moving/Boston

Cold Feet about moving/Boston

Old Sep 1st 2018, 9:17 pm
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Default Cold Feet about moving/Boston

Hi

Just stumbled across this forum when I was googling around, hope I'm putting this post in the correct place!

It's been just about 12 months and myself and my American fiancée have completed the K1 process and I have my Visa and big envelope in my possession. We have been together 3 years this October. We met whilst she was working in the UK in 2015, and lived together for 6 months in 2016 in the UK, and we have been visiting each other and doing long distance since then, interspersed with trips to Iceland and Edinburgh when cheap flights allow!

I honestly never thought we would get through all the paperwork, medical, interviews, very specific photographs and police certs to get to this point. But, in the last few days I have been having awful anxiety and worry over the move. It's almost like we were so pre-occupied with all the process that we never had time to consider much else.

My fiancée is living in Boston near Somerville, and has a good job with good benefits like vacation time and healthcare which I will be covered by when we marry, working in the university sector and makes about 60,000 dollars per year. She has a masters degree and has risen quickly through the ranks of her employer over the last 3 years. All her family are located in the Greater Boston area, I have met most them on my 4 visits over and they seem nice, if a little befuddled by me!

I myself am a civil servant currently, and do not have a bachelors degree. I have some diplomas in the IT field from 4 or 5 years ago, but I have never worked in the IT sector itself. I have about 11,000 dollars in savings. I am incredibly worried about not being able to find decent, secure work once my AOS comes through. The AOS waiting time is about 7 months currently according to the visa journey site I read today, which is another worry in itself as savings will run out quite quickly in that long timeframe. I also am just worried in general about how I will adjust to life away from my friends and family. I am quite an easygoing person in general, and on my previous trips to the states (for between 10-25 days) and having met my fiancée's friends, they all seem so hyper career and money oriented, and I am worried about fitting in with that sort of culture.

Just wondering if anybody has ever felt similar feelings after going through such an arduous bureaucratic process? and if so, if they would have any advice?

Thanks

Adam.
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Old Sep 1st 2018, 9:33 pm
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Default Re: Cold Feet about moving/Boston

Getting cold feet is completely normal.
You spend so long obsessed with the bureacracy of it all that the emotions of a major move take a back seat in my experience until the paperwork is taken care of.
Culturally, I can't make any guarantees, but I suspect you'll be fine. I moved from London to New York, honestly I don't think it's that different. Less holidays for people here, a bit more corporate, but I think the aggressive american business environment stereotype is slightly overdone in the UK. I think you'll be fine.
Employment wise I don't know your field so I can't give you much advice either way, although there's plenty of people on here from many different fields. I work in advertising so it was all networking anyway to get my job. I do know Bachelors degrees are very expected, so you might need to think of how you'll overcome that hurdle e.g. lots of experience. But be prepared to sell yourself, have your fiance, or some of her friends who's advice you trust look at your CV. The most significant difference I encountered was the degree to which people are prepared to big themselves up over here. I had to write things on my resume that made me cringe slightly because I'm British and it's not the done thing in the UK to sell yourself at all. But you'll get used to it quickly.
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Old Sep 2nd 2018, 12:43 am
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Default Re: Cold Feet about moving/Boston

You'll be lucky if AOS takes 7 months... However, you can file for an EAD at the same time and you'll likely have that before you have your green card.

When you have an EAD or GC you can work.
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Old Sep 2nd 2018, 3:50 am
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Default Re: Cold Feet about moving/Boston

Originally Posted by tom169 View Post
You'll be lucky if AOS takes 7 months... However, you can file for an EAD at the same time and you'll likely have that before you have your green card.

When you have an EAD or GC you can work.
...But, it should be noted, not as a Federal employee, which will exclude many jobs considered as being within the civil service. Presumably you have acquired skills within the civil service that are applicable to private sector work?

Edit: the country is currently experiencing labour shortages so you should be able to find some kind of employment that you might like that is not too shabbily paid.

Last edited by zzrmark; Sep 2nd 2018 at 3:54 am.
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Old Sep 2nd 2018, 4:21 am
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Default Re: Cold Feet about moving/Boston

Originally Posted by zzrmark View Post
...But, it should be noted, not as a Federal employee, which will exclude many jobs considered as being within the civil service. Presumably you have acquired skills within the civil service that are applicable to private sector work?

Edit: the country is currently experiencing labour shortages so you should be able to find some kind of employment that you might like that is not too shabbily paid.
Not all federal jobs have restrictions on citizenship.
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Old Sep 2nd 2018, 3:58 pm
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Default Re: Cold Feet about moving/Boston

If you need to work without a long wait go the CR1 route.
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Old Sep 2nd 2018, 4:51 pm
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Default Re: Cold Feet about moving/Boston

Originally Posted by Boiler View Post
If you need to work without a long wait go the CR1 route.
He's already got his K-1, so probably doesn't want to start over.
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Old Sep 2nd 2018, 5:10 pm
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Default Re: Cold Feet about moving/Boston

Sounds like he did not realise the 4 plus month wait to work.
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Old Sep 2nd 2018, 7:48 pm
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Default Re: Cold Feet about moving/Boston

Originally Posted by tom169 View Post
Not all federal jobs have restrictions on citizenship.
True, but there so few exceptions open to non citizens, perhaps the OP is a chaplain in the civil service?
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Old Sep 2nd 2018, 7:54 pm
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Default Re: Cold Feet about moving/Boston

Federal jobs are not that easy to get, where I am being able to pass a drugs test opens up a lot of State, County jobs.
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Old Sep 4th 2018, 11:23 pm
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Default Re: Cold Feet about moving/Boston

Boston is a great city to live in, probably one of the most similar to the UK compared to the other US cities I've been to. Hopefully it is just nerves and the rush of the bureaucracy finishing.

The not working thing is the pain on the K1. The EADs are currently taking at least 4.5months. You can expedite this is you can convince someone to make you a job offer.

Obviously every case is different and timings might change by the time you file, but I've just got my AOS interview letter and it is set for 4 months after filing (in Boston).
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Old Sep 5th 2018, 12:32 pm
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Default Re: Cold Feet about moving/Boston

As a former Civil Servant of long standing myself before moving over (hence my username from when I initially signed up to BE), I understand how you feel about that. Just be prepared for the... ahem... 'working conditions' in the US and you will be fine. Longer days, less leave days, likely no sick days (or they will get deducted from your leave) and you can forget about flexi-time!

As long as you go into it with your eyes open, you will be fine. I went from working on the floors as a glorified janitor at a hospital/Nursing Home to Chief Financial Officer in 3 years, without a degree. Prove yourself and work up.
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Old Sep 5th 2018, 5:29 pm
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Default Re: Cold Feet about moving/Boston

If you're going to be living in Boston, why not have look at working for the Commonwealth? They're pretty good employers and once you're in, it's almost impossible to get fired! Certainly, if you're used to working within the British Civil Service you'll be used to the bureaucracy and all the other bollocks that come with it...

This is the link to their job search: https://massanf.taleo.net/careersect.../jobsearch.ftl

It took me a lot longer to find a 'good' job than I thought it would and I ended up working in a number of retail and construction jobs to pay the bills along the way.

Be prepared for people not to understand what your experience entails - and to apparently not even want to try to understand! I found I needed to think how to describe my work generically so that people with no understanding of the UK workplace could get their heads around what I do.

Hope that helps!
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Old Sep 6th 2018, 3:45 pm
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Default Re: Cold Feet about moving/Boston

Do it, Boston is loaded with money right now.
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