Cold feet?

Old Jun 17th 2017, 12:06 am
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Default Cold feet?

So the time had come for us to leave our current home on Sunday, our Daughter is having a sleep over with her best friends in our very empty home! One of them gave me a hug and said "I will miss Liz so much, I wish you weren't going" then another one of her friends said the same thing. They all have made each other memory books and my daughter has been spoilt (I have 6 teenage girls sleeping over tonight, we have cooked up all of the remaining food in the cupboards)

At the moment they said that I got this "oh s#&t" feeling, it's the first time since the start that I felt a tiny bit of cold feet!
We have my interview in London on Monday and then hopefully I will have my immigrant visa and we will all leave the country on the 10th July, fingers crossed or my family leave and I stay here till it's sorted.

So far I've been nothing but excited, my kids can't wait my Mother in law in NC is so excited and has brought soooo much stuff for us and we have some exciting plans to just reconnect and enjoy being together. We have so much to be excited about and I'm hoping I wake up tomorrow and the feeling has gone. I feel like our safety net is about to disappear (family and friends here, our home, THe NHS, my daughter starting a new school in NC etc etc) so after all that talking please tell me this is normal and everyone feels like this, it's been 10 years we have been back here in the UK, but last time I was moving home, but this time I'm leaving home....The joys of being married to someone from a different country is that one of us will always be home sick. BTW it was my idea and my kids that wanted to move back haha My Hubby (AC) wanted to stay here at first, after my MIL visited we realized how much we miss her and I want her to have the chance to be a Grandma before my kids get bigger and move out. I hate saying goodbye, we are going to stay at my sister's in London till we leave, but now the goodbyes have started it's becoming real...😱😱😱😨

Thanks all if you read this all you rock! Thanks for listening (reading) to me vent

Kelly x
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Old Jun 17th 2017, 4:35 am
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Default Re: Cold feet?

Yeah, the last few days got weird. It was like having an out of body experience.

You'll be fine. Good luck!
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Old Jun 17th 2017, 6:55 am
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Default Re: Cold feet?

Originally Posted by Pulaski
Yeah, the last few days got weird. It was like having an out of body experience.

You'll be fine. Good luck!
I totally agree, we were only moving to Spain, but the last few days were very weird, seeing everything going out of the house, then having to move into a B&B for the final night, the house having been sold. The final day was perhaps even weirder, the fact we had nowhere to go back to, we had our flight tickets, then a bit of panic when the train going to the airport missed the connection and having to sort that, but we had given ourselves a shed load of time. Sitting on the plane waiting for take off was also weird, we were leaving the country, not just for a holiday and had burnt all our bridges. We survived as does everyone.
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Old Jun 17th 2017, 11:56 am
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Default Re: Cold feet?

Hi Kelly, funnily enough I'm in exactly the same situation - lived in the UK for 10+ years, now going 'back'. I'm still happy with our decisions, but I won't lie that there are days/moments that I'm a little terrified!! The goodbyes will be weird, getting on the plane even weirder. Husband & I both know that no matter where we live, someone will be far away from family (and the kids from their grandparents/cousins).

FWIW, I think these feelings are COMPLETELY normal.
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Old Jun 17th 2017, 12:23 pm
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Default Re: Cold feet?

Last few days/weeks are weird. My eldest was 13 when we moved. Her friends walked her home from school her last day - I had 8 13 year old huddled in the hall, all sobbing as only young teens can. I just stood there with a box of tissues. Within 18 months of us leaving, every single one of them had pretty much forgotten her.

Anyone who says it's a breeze and they had no last minute second thoughts or momentary blips is odd imo.
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Old Jun 17th 2017, 1:43 pm
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Default Re: Cold feet?

Thank you all :-) I was in severe panic mode last night, I have to say I woke up today feeling much more rational and better. My Dad came over and got chocked up (that was tough) I will see him 1 more time we are going to Romford dogs! I am going to see my Nan and realistically I know it will be the final time (we are not super close) so I'll take pictures and have a nice visit.

My daughter has gone into Norwich today with her friends and I am fully expecting a lot of tears in the next few hours, so tissues are ready. My husband and I said within 6 months their relationships will sadly be changed but I don't think they realize that yet fully.

We are cleaning the house today and it does just feel strange.

Thanks all again I appreciate knowing it's not just me feeling this.

Kelly :-)
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Old Jun 17th 2017, 1:51 pm
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Default Re: Cold feet?

It's all perfectly normal. Although in my case, I don't think I realised (realized) the enormity of the decision I was making until I was actually sat on the aircraft ready to go. When I arrived in the US, it was all about sorting out a place to live, getting a car, etc.

My parents were with me for the first couple of weeks helping me sort stuff out. It was when they left to return to England, that it really hit me.
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Old Jun 17th 2017, 2:22 pm
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Default Re: Cold feet?

Originally Posted by hmvsdog
It's all perfectly normal. Although in my case, I don't think I realised (realized) the enormity of the decision I was making until I was actually sat on the aircraft ready to go. When I arrived in the US, it was all about sorting out a place to live, getting a car, etc.

My parents were with me for the first couple of weeks helping me sort stuff out. It was when they left to return to England, that it really hit me.

Hopefully me going through this now will make the actual leaving day when the plane door closes a but better.
I was shocked last night when I started panicking because I have been so excited and even though I know what I'm getting into after living in the States for 6 years. It came out of left field.

How long have you been in the States now?
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Old Jun 17th 2017, 2:56 pm
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Default Re: Cold feet?

Originally Posted by elizabethsmum
How long have you been in the States now?
I'm still a relative newbie. Been here about a year and a half. And technically I'm still a visitor (on a non-immigrant visa at the moment) but my application for permanent residency is with the USCIS. Perhaps foolishly, I've never thought the move was anything other than permanent (as my company's attorneys tell me that my case is very strong).

We feel at home here and with the surprising education of my elderly parents to use Skype, the world doesn't feel quite so big. But having lived here you know all this!
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Old Jun 17th 2017, 3:38 pm
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Default Re: Cold feet?

Originally Posted by hmvsdog
I'm still a relative newbie. Been here about a year and a half. And technically I'm still a visitor (on a non-immigrant visa at the moment) but my application for permanent residency is with the USCIS. Perhaps foolishly, I've never thought the move was anything other than permanent (as my company's attorneys tell me that my case is very strong).

We feel at home here and with the surprising education of my elderly parents to use Skype, the world doesn't feel quite so big. But having lived here you know all this!
Oh good luck with it all! Yeah the world is smaller now, when I was for there Skype and web cams were still grainy and not great but its so much better now. We are moving to NC and I'm trusting my Husband and Mother in law because I've never been there! But my Husband was born on base and he grew up there. Its exciting but slightly scary. But in all honesty as long as my hubby and I and our 2 kids are together the country incomes second we are a little team.
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Old Jun 17th 2017, 3:43 pm
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Default Re: Cold feet?

Originally Posted by elizabethsmum
Oh good luck with it all! Yeah the world is smaller now, when I was for there Skype and web cams were still grainy and not great but its so much better now. We are moving to NC and I'm trusting my Husband and Mother in law because I've never been there! But my Husband was born on base and he grew up there. Its exciting but slightly scary. But in all honesty as long as my hubby and I and our 2 kids are together the country incomes second we are a little team.
Yeah, North Carolina is lovely. I'm in south-eastern Pennsylvania and a lot of locals around here speak very well of that area.

Good luck to you and your family too. I've doubted it at times, but moving here was the best decision I ever made.
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Old Jun 17th 2017, 7:34 pm
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Default Re: Cold feet?

Originally Posted by hmvsdog
Yeah, North Carolina is lovely. I'm in south-eastern Pennsylvania and a lot of locals around here speak very well of that area.

Good luck to you and your family too. I've doubted it at times, but moving here was the best decision I ever made.

It best be or they are in big trouble 😱🙏 it looks lovely and we have a lovely house there. I'm looking forward to having guaranteed summers but I'm also bracing myself to get used to the heat. We are arriving at the hottest time of year so nothing like jumping in straight to the deep end.
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Old Jun 17th 2017, 9:32 pm
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Default Re: Cold feet?

Good luck! I'm afraid I can't put your mind at ease as we haven't made the move yet, and will be leaving ALL our family behind (hubby is the USC but his family and mine are both British, all residing in the UK) and I'm pretty terrified that we will have nobody at all to support us in the US - but I can wish you the best of luck. You will absolutely make the best of everything and will make some wonderful memories Have a safe trip, and see you on the other side! I hope everything goes as smoothly as possible for you.

Vicky
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Old Jun 17th 2017, 9:45 pm
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Default Re: Cold feet?

I can totally sympathise with you I felt the same about 4 weeks before we moved to Texas I just didn't want to go I was ready to through the towel in and stay in the UK. Fast forward to now we are getting settled we have a nice house, I have started work and the town we are living is really nice and laid back. I do miss the UK and my family but FaceTime is a wonderful tool, my eldest daughter is back in the U.K which is hard but she will be coming back to the USA. Keep your chin up think positive thoughts you will be fine just remember if it doesn't work out you can always come home.😀😀
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Old Jun 17th 2017, 10:16 pm
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Default Re: Cold feet?

Even though I've only been in NC since November, it's a great place to be. There are quite a lot of cultural differences, but if you embrace them it's fantastic.

Currently sat with a beer by the pool... Something I dreamt about in England.

There is so much technology to help with global communication. My 80 some year old Nan loves to FaceTime me after I gave her an iPad gift and set her broadband up.

Good luck with the move. Reach out if you need any help.
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