pushing tin

:lecture: I was just wondering about any difficulties people have found settling their children into school in the US. Also, in general...lifestyle, friends etc.

Manc

They'll probably be top of the class.

Geordiegirl

Mine were teenagers when we arrived in Houston and they fitted into high school without any problems. My son, at 14 was a big hit with the girls because of his accent, he had gone to an all boys school in the UK, so he thought he'd died and gone to heaven. My daughter who was 17 made friends very quickly and ended up sharing an apartment at university with two of them. I found American kids to be very forward when they came to our home, going into the fridge for soda's without asking, expecting me to feed them if they where around at meal times. I soon found out they hated beans on toast and banana sandwhiches so I solved that problem very quickly. All in all it was a very easy adjustment.

pushing tin

Thanks.....my kids are 9,7,3 & 1 so we will have a lot of adjustment to go through! Funny about the beans on toast....will remember that one!

whatever

This is a relief to read. I am dreading putting our boy in school, (although he does not know that!). Just a typical worry wart Mum.

Wow! Just thinking about my older Brit sister would not even let her own kids help themselves in the fridge let alone someone elses kids! We have brought our son up to be very polite and he has good manners. I expect this will relax once he has climatised in the US but I really can't stand rudeness - especially in kids, it just makes them look like the parents didn't care how they were raising them. How have you coped with accepting the difference in UK and US kids behaviour? Did you set your own house rules or just let them raid away?

Manc

I don't mind it when kids come over to play with mine and eat and drink here.
I kinda take it as a compliment that they feel comfortable enough with us to be able to do that.
I know my kids get the same decent treatment when they stay at their friends houses so what goes around comes around.

jjmb

Whatever, the one thing Kids over here aren't, is impolite. I am always amazed at how polite kids over here are, which is possibly why when we discovered most of my son's friends were on drugs and alcohol, we were amazed. They always address an adult as Sir or Madam which here in TX, seems to carry on into adult life. In Scotland, it was the reverse, most kids were rude and made life on a friday night in town, (small town, pop, 13,000) unbearable.

suzieque

Most Americans mention that my daughter is soooo polite but actually she just has normal British manners, this gives you a small clue to the normal excepted behavior. We have been here 6 months and my daughter has not changed at all really, not even picking up US accent which is a surprise. She's 9 and having the British accent gives her a lot of attention both at school and around so I think she is trying hard to keep it (she loves attention). She is happy at school loves it and has a lot of friends. As mentioned before she is at the top of her class but there were weak areas at first......eg. she asked what a 'lb' was and only knew a foot was at the end of your leg!!! Then some of the terms they use in English class threw us both, these were only temporary as she is a straight A student and we both love the US system now. (I was sure I'd hate it and agonised greatly) We tried home schooling at first and she hated it so obviously not for all. She talked me into letting her try US school and it was a very good move. I guess it varies from State to State. school to school and even teacher to teacher and we were very lucky.
Try not to worry too much kids are definately more resilient than we give them credit for. We worry more than them I think.
Suzie

pushing tin

Thanks Suzie,

My daughter is also 9, so I'm sure she will be pleased to hear that English kids are well thought of. She is worried she will be teased for being different. She goes to a very small village school now and things will be much different for her in the US, but hopefully better!

Englishmum

My son settled in to Middle School very quickly and again it was easy as everyone moved up to the High School together (although in different classes). I think it helped that when we moved here, he had just finished his primary schooling (at a British school in Singapore) and children from five elementary schools in our town all began Middle School at the same time that he did.

He was very pleased to find that they had something called "Study Hall" so he could do his 'homework' during the school day instead of bringing it home to do! I was very surprised about that!

He is now 15 (still sounds English) and his school is very challenging and is ranked No.1 in New Jersey; many of the parents went to Ivy League schools and fully expect that their children will follow too....quite a few have extra tuition and their parents pay a fortune for it at cramming schools (particularly amongst the Chinese, Korean and Jewish students) and will probably follow their parents into professions such as dentistry, surgery, law or high-flying Wall Street investment bankers etc. My son has a really nice set of friends who are all very polite and I think and hope, responsible. His friend's dad has coached them at football/soccer and is a County Prosecutor which I think keeps them in check. Another friend's dad took a group of them to the International Auto Show in NYC last weekend. None of them would dream of raiding my fridge (one boy did and I told him off, but he's moved to Chicago).

There is no way he would want to leave his school as he is so happy there.


Pushing Tin: did you know that there is a British School in Houston for expatriates? (I guess it mainly has pupils who are on the traditional three-five year posting with parents in the oil industry and the company is picking up the tab):

http://www.britishschools.org

Englishmum

That link should be:

http://www.britishschool.org

pushing tin

Thanks Englishmum,

I have seen the website, yes. Looks jolly expensive though. I do think I'll miss the fact that the kids will no longer be in uniform while attending public school however. One extra thing I don't need to worry about when having four kids is finding them all clothes that match every day!

Ben

I'm like you, Manc, and feel honored that the kids feel so comfortable in my home to just help themselves. When we were teenagers, my friends were allowed to do the same in my home and my parents took such pleasure in it. If one of my friends had taken the last juice or yogurt they would just go to the supermarket and fill the fridge up again.

My children were 8, 6 and 4 when we moved over and for the first year it was actually my youngest that found it the hardest to settle into life over here because he finds it very difficult to cope with change. He needs strong discipline which the schools lacked where we first were. Having to move again within 18months of moving from the US to the UK (we moved from NJ to NY states) it was tough on the eldest because he was 10 and had made quite a few new friends very quickly. He didn't like the idea of having to start all over again. Now, he is very settled, very popular and has told us, in no uncertain terms, that we are not moving again!

As long as you realise that the children are going to find things difficult and make allowances yet keep the discipline in place your children will have no problems. Just remember to keep listening to what they say because things are different here and you want them to fit in. My eldest has beautiful manners (until he sits at a table ) and I always taught them to say 'pardon' if they didn't hear what someone was saying/asking them. Here the kids say 'what' and I found that very rude. But if I insisted on James doing it my way in front of his friends I would be making problems for him so we have separated home life from the American life outside of our home.

suzieque

I doubt she will be teased everyone loves my daughters accent and actually all wanted to be her friends and chat with her which really helped her settle in. Go with an open mind and I am sure all will be fine.
By the way my daughter was in a very small British village school for all her school, we left when she had just finished her primary 4th year so was changing schools that year anyway to middle school so a perfect time to move. Actually it has been great having her in elementry (primary) for this extra time, she has 1 yr left before middle school which is great.
Things are different but not in a bad way.
Suzie

pushing tin

Thanks again Suzie