Pony

Its been hotter than heck here today, I'm a little worn out.
I decided to have a quiet night watching the TV with a glass of scotch (Sue is working nights). Anyway the damn remote control just stopped working.
I have been throwing candies at the channel button on the TV, and had great success in getting the dog to turn the tv over when she goes to get the candy. However I am a bit of a channel surfer and the dog just puked all over the room. . .
I have put a large candy in each of my nostrils which seems to help with the smell, but the damn TV is showing some old episode of the Brady bunch. Idea's please.

Sally

a fishing rod?

elfman

snooker cue plus spider rest with extended legs

Sally

Yes that would give more control

Sally

Put a mirror at the back of the room and lie in front of the tv watching it in the mirror (adapted from the way some people like to make shoot-em-up videogames harder)

elfman

I picked up on the mention of scotch

Patrick Hasler

Employ one of those street gang kids to run back and forth to the TV and change channels .... should do it for a meal and a bed.
Just make sure he or she understands English ... lotta mexicans round there.

Sally

Sit within reach of the control and use binoculars the wrong way round to watch the screen

Sally

Bring the swinging sofa thingy in from the porch and launch your foot forward to reach the control with your outstretched toe

elfman

this is all starting to sound like Viz Top Tips

Sally

Just what I was thinking

elfman

Expats: Annoy your wife when she's working nights by getting bladdered, breaking the TV, and covering the living room in dog puke.

I might actually send that in to Viz

Sally

Expats' wives: ensure your husband does not loaf around drinking scotch while you are working nights by relacing the tv remote batteries with dead ones

elfman

and hiding the candy

Sally

and taking the dog with you