Cali1122

I came to the US as a direct hire and I'm on a work-sponsored visa. Last year I married a US citizen but never filed for a change in visa status. We are now expecting our first baby. Due to some health problems and lack of sufficient sick/FMLA leave, it may be better for me to resign and return to England until the baby is born. My husband is against this. He says he won't come with me and in fact won't let me leave. I reminded him that if I lose my job or leave my job, my visa will expire and I will be forced to leave. He argues that I wouldn't be allowed to leave while pregnant because the baby is his. Is it true that he can legally stand in my way if I decide to leave? He says if it comes to divorce, he'll fight me for custody. What rights do I have?

fatbrit

Leave now! He'll certainly have a say once the baby is born. Now, he doesn't have a leg to stand on.

MsElui

if the baby is born in this country - he cam make your life a gazillion times harder by having the right to say you cant take the baby out of it. If you have any doubts about his love and respect of your feelings - do NOT have the baby in America.

Speedwell

Additionally he won't have much of a leg to stand on if he thinks he can force you to ignore your health problems and thereby potentially endanger the baby he SAYS he cares so much about.

Pulaski

To answer the question in the title of your thread "NO!". Full stop. End of story. As Fatbrit said, leave, leave now! As the child's father he would have some say, but as a practical (not legal) matter the odds will be stacked in your favour in a British court if your husband is trying to manage his representation from 3,000+.miles away.

Pulaski

Right, if things work out and you come back, you and your baby can still become citizens later. No harm will be done.

Tegwyn

So what if the baby is born in the UK and she returns to the marriage. If the father's name is on the birth certificate and/or acknowledges paternity, does he not have the same rights as he would have if the child is born in the US? Would this not still be a major issue when attempting to return home should she wish to do so?

Speedwell

In fact, as the child of a US citizen, the baby is automatically a US citizen assuming you and the father are married and he has met the residency requirement himself (lived in the US or possessions for at least 5 years, of which two must be after the age of 14).

Different rules apply if the parents of the child are not married or if both are US citizens or if the residency requirement is not met.

(My husband chimes in to tell the baby's father to "stop being an a*****e".

penguinsix

If the baby is born in the USA, then the USA will become the 'habitual residence' of the child. That means all decisions on custody will be handled in US courts. If you do leave after the birth with the child, the Hague Act will come into play and the child will be stripped from your custody by the authorities and sent back to the USA for a custody hearing (note: it's not pretty).

However, if you leave before the birth and have the baby in the UK, the habitual residence of the child is the UK and custody disputes will be held over there. By and large, he is not able to prevent you from traveling if you decide to leave.

There *may* be some ways for him to stop you from leaving *if* he proactively files for divorce and/or claims you have abused him and then gets a court order preventing you from leaving the jurisdiction of the court. However, this is highly dependent on the laws of the state where you reside, and is done rather sparingly from what I can detect. It's far too complicated for a message board. You would need to consult some professional legal advice, preferably someone in family law and immigration, or who handles things like the Hague Act. You should also contact http://reunite.org who can offer some advice as well, especially as it relates to UK law.

A few other bits:
* the airlines won't let you fly after a certain point in the pregnancy, so don't wait until the last minute.
* If you or the child comes back to the USA it may result in further legal actions later against you in US courts. Even if unsuccessful he can tie you up in some legal knots.
* If you flee now and do get involved in a custody debate he will use your fleeing to show you are a 'flight risk' and cannot be trusted.
* He may still come to the UK and file for custody there as the parent of the child, dragging you through the legal muck. Again it might not be successful but may prove costly.

My advice would be to please consult some professionals before acting on this.

Good luck.

Cali1122

Thanks for the great advice, everyone. Overwhelmed by all the responses on here- thank you. I think you make a great point about his respect for my health and feelings, Speedwell. Especially as I'm in hospital at the moment and we had this conversation at my bedside! I'm going to keep my cool with him and just assume he is overwhelmed by the prospect of a sudden change in circumstances. It can't be easy for him either with me in here talking about leaving. I would be nervous too about moving to a new place with a baby on the way not knowing what to do about employment.

However, having said that, I think you have all made great points on here about protecting my rights and having the baby in England. Thanks for the detailed explanation, Penguinsix! I'll seek some professional legal advice. Would the child automatically be a UK citizen if it is born in the US or would I have to apply for citizenship for him/her?

Just a related question, I was about to file my HMRC self-assessment tax return and was debating whether to put my US address on it or leave my parents address on there. If I move back within the next month, perhaps I should leave the UK address on there? Will it mess up my tax liabilty to leave hastily? I left the UK in 2010 and forgot to submit the P85. I was going to send it in now and back-date it to cover the past two years. We were due to file joint resident US tax returns (non-resident alien spouse considered resident on a joint return) and I wouldn't have to pay UK tax on US ' resident status' income. I'm worried about how I could mess up my tax liability by moving back just as I send in the P85 and tax return.

Thanks again for the support and the advice! It's a great help :-)

MsElui

if you have a working visa - make sure you talk to your employers before resigning. They may be happy to put you on an unpaid sabbatical for the time being so you can return to that job in due course - rather than lose you altogether. If they don't want to do that - you have not lost anything as you thought you may resign anyway.

ian-mstm

You are not a prisoner in the US. If you're going to leave, don't tell him... just go.


That'll depend on whether or not you qualify to pass citizenship to the child... but, generally, if you're a UKC other than by descent, then yes... the child will be a UKC at birth.


With respect, I suggest that taxes are the least of your worries just now. Tax issues can be fixed after the fact.

Ian

Speedwell

A dual citizen in fact, recognized as such by the UK if I recall correctly, but not as such by the US, which does not recognize dual citizenship. The fact that the US doesn't recognize it doesn't cancel out the baby's UK citizenship. I am, for example, a dual Hungarian-US citizen according to the opinion of the Hungarian consulate I consulted; all that matters is that a given country recognizes the individual as a citizen.

Mummy in the foothills

Your husband is being a bully. He can't stop you leaving the US. But once the baby is born in the US he can stop you taking the baby with you if you go. If this is his usual mode of operation then you may well be better off going and having the baby in UK where things are familiar and you have your family to support you. How far along are you?

scrubbedexpat099

They had some nut jobs on the Radio wanting recognition at conception rather than birth, this is a good example of the illogicality of such an approach.