Brit living in nyc
 

Hi all,

Having lived in NYC for a few months now, finding it hard and lonely. We came for husbands job I'm still waiting for my EAD . We are both mid -late 20s any idea how we can meet people in Similar situations?

Re: Brit living in nyc
 

Just get out there and mingle. I'm 27 and when I make the move I'm just going to go places like sports bars, dog parks etc and just randomly talk to people that look half sharp, hopefully my accent will start a proper conversation and then "I'm new around here is there anywhere you recommend I check out? Fancy going there together?". I don't have a plan b yet though :p

Re: Brit living in nyc
 

Haha well we haven't got a dog so that's not really an option and the thing is wt bars everyone is in groups. When I go out with a friend of course we getting chatting to people but as a couple this doesnt happen

Good luck with your move

Re: Brit living in nyc
 

Try using meetup.com to find groups that do activities you like. Often the activities are free which is a bonus, you can turn up and see how you get on without any obligation. Good luck, you'll get there.

Re: Brit living in nyc
 

Agree with monitoring meetup.com for interesting activities in your area. Some can be duds but some are really fun!

Re: Brit living in nyc
 

Yea I can see where you're coming from with the groups thing but even when I was little and changed schools it was like that at first until you make yourself known. Don't be unhappy though it's only been a few months that's no time at all. There's plenty of people in NYC on here I believe that will point you in the right direction :)

Re: Brit living in nyc
 

What are you interested in? Take a tour at a museum and see if there are volunteer opportunities. Have you been to the NY library on Fifth Avenue? Amazing place to just sit in the reading room with a book or newspaper. You can also find out about events that might interest you there. Have you visited the Bronx Botanical Garden? Beautiful place, and they have a volunteer organization. Do you like to exercise -- a gym or the YMCA is a good place to meet people. Want to learn a new cuisine? Take a cooking class. Check out the TKTS booth and get a cheap seat at a matinee for a Bwy show. Any stay at home wives among your husband's new colleagues who might want to have lunch? Whatever your interests, there are groups in NYC with the same interests, you just have to be proactive and look for them. In NYC, you can't be British and wait for people to come to you, you have to go to them! And don't make the mistake of just looking for fellow Brits -- branch out and be open to meeting the folks in NY (most of whom came from somewhere else themselves!) and widening your horizons. Good luck!

Re: Brit living in nyc
 

I would also recommend that you investigate what you are planning to do for work once you receive your EAD (if you haven't already) Do you have to take any exams? Build up your career network, can you volunteer somewhere to help you get yourself known? Or maybe you're the lucky one who has a job lined up?

Re: Brit living in nyc
 

We didn't know anyone when we moved to NYC. I was then on a B-2 visa, so no work, and my partner was field-based so no main office to go into. It was very very tough to meet people. We made a few friends in the end but it was not easy.

I volunteered for a while and you might find people in a similar situation as you. There are tons of organizations that you could try. Start a new hobby. Some friends of ours volunteered at a theatre group when they lived in NYC. Said it was a great way to meet people. But I agree, it doesn't get easier as you get older.

Re: Brit living in nyc
 

Riiight...should go over well...

Re: Brit living in nyc
 

Facebook, it'll have a Brit group as well as any other kind of hobby group like meetup.com does and it might be more active.

If you've got kids, it's a lot easier as you've got all the kids things to go to to meet other parents.

Still, if you're not, there's still the library, hobby groups, going to the gym, volunteering at whatever interests and other things like a newcomers group to the town area you're in.

Re: Brit living in nyc
 

Taking a class is a good way to start, eg. cooking, art, dance, martial arts, etc. Ideally, do something you'll be committed to and attend regularly over a period of time. Even if you don't make 'proper' friends, seeing the same people consistently builds up a sense of camaraderie.

It also helps take the edge off "will anyone even notice if I disappear completely?" :o

Oh, and the last thing you want to do is meet people in a similar situation. Meet people with lives and friends and proceed to borrow them!

Re: Brit living in nyc
 

Oh so people can talk online and go on dates never having met each other but when you talk to someone face to face and then say about going somewhere together that won't go down well?? Think about it.

Re: Brit living in nyc
 

Absolutely! Indeed, it's got to the point where some people won't ask others on a date in real life, because they prefer the online format (something about seeing all the relevant details upfront :confused:). More generally, I find that lots of potentially social occasions have become much less social, as people are too busy on their phones. I have been left behind by my own generation :unsure:

Oh, and straight up suggesting going places with strangers when you're new in town is not recommended. I mean, I've done some 'risky' things (why yes, I'll get in a car with two guys I just met to drive to an illegal dance party!), but it's always involved judging the particulars of the situation itself - I would not suggest it as a good overall mixing strategy!

I have moved country once and city twice on my own. There is definitely an element of 'putting yourself out there', but remember: while you'll be pushing yourself out of your own comfort zone a lot of the time, don't expect the locals to! Comes off as clingy and weird.

Re: Brit living in nyc
 

Oh yeah of course, I'd find it strange if a old man did it to me but as a 27 year old if I met another 27ish year old that was from Australia for example, and we got talking over a few drinks or out walking my dog and I found out he was new here knows nothing about the area and then asked to go for a drink sometime or go bowling or something I'd say 'yea why not'. I'd add him on Facebook and talk abit more first. Maybe I'm just too easy going.

Re: Brit living in nyc
 

You're also a bloke.

Re: Brit living in nyc
 

Beware!

Re: Brit living in nyc
 

:lol:

He could prove us wrong:

Re: Brit living in nyc
 

If you go into a locals type of bar, like the Ear Inn, or Walkers, both in lower Manhattan, and you go when it is slow and introduce yourself to the bartenders, all are friendly, they will introduce you to the regulars. Both those bars (very pub-like) are full of Brits.

Re: Brit living in nyc
 

And... any of the bars that show football will be full of Brits even when the games are not on. So, even if you dislike the games, it is a good place to go if you want to meet other Brits!

http://6thfloor.blogs.nytimes.com/20...ype=blogs&_r=0

Re: Brit living in nyc
 

Ello darling, get ya coat you've pulled.

Re: Brit living in nyc
 

Good luck with that! ;) Maybe it's because I'm in my thirties, but just about everybody I've met and become friends with is a recent transplant too. The true "locals" have their families, children, and established social circles it seems. Or maybe there just aren't any locals in San Diego? Everybody seems to be from Pennsylvania...

And I second/third/fiftyseventh meetup.com. Some of the groups are dead, others are dating sites in disguise (or not in disguise), but plenty are centered around interesting activities and can be a good way to get you out of the house, a new part of the city, and to meet interesting people. Chances are you'll have at least one thing in common!

Re: Brit living in nyc
 

Dunno, I'm early thirties. I guess I don't necessarily mean local-local, so much as a bit further along in the getting settled process. I made good friends with guys I worked with, but we were all new to the city and, while a good source for company, not so much for meeting further new people or getting new ideas. There were definitely times we all just whined and cursed the city!

It took me 2.5 years in Chicago to start to feel like I'd put together something resembling a sturdy group of friends. The (latter) addition of actual Chicagoans had a very rapid and remarkably settling effect. Of course, then I left :lol: ... :unsure:

Re: Brit living in nyc
 

NYC has extremely social people in every age range, from every country, and in every earning bracket, and with every family situation you can think of, and they are not hard to find.

Go to Walkers and the Ear Inn. It is full of Brits. Friendly Brits. The locals are good people.

Just keep going back - you will make friends there. And the food is good too!

Re: Brit living in nyc
 

maybe its just me but the thought of moving to NYC and going to places to meet Brits seems a little strange and maybe self-defeating (you can start to close yourself off). I live in NY too and have friends from here that have similar interests to me... we are all musicians. I think the key is to go to social gatherings focused around an interest.... if you like tennis, go to a tennis meetup. That way you have a common interest you can base the friendship around. Its tough - I'm in my early 30's and not exactly a beacon of sociability. If I can make it work, you can too. Just be willing to put in some work and make some effort.

Re: Brit living in nyc
 

NYC is one of the most accepting cities in the world. Anyone in a bar will talk to you if you strike up a conversation - you just have to shed your British reserve and get out there. People in groups here are much more willing to talk to strangers than in a UK pub. It's a very different social paradigm..
- Chatting up bartenders is a fantastic idea. Sit at the bar, tip them well and they will go out of their way to connect you with other folks.
- Take a pizza-making class, or do cooking classes. Sur le Table in midtown does them. You can't help but meet other folks.
- Go to The Moth and tell your story in front of a crowd - instant friends.
- Sign up for improv classes at the UCB
- Take art classes at the New School or SVA
- Go sit on a park bench in Union Square and strike up conversations with the people you see there.
- Take a walking tour of Downtown - so much history in old New Amsterdam. It's not all tourists on the tours - lots of locals interested in NY history.
- Check out meetup.com - they have a million groups meeting on every subject under the sun. I tried a couple of acting ones they were great. Full of actors though...

Personally, I avoided all the expat hangouts. When most New Yorkers hear your accent, they are immediately interested in talking to you. Take advantage of that and bask in the attention. It's addicting! You will have a bunch of local friends in no time.

After a quick google, there are some great ideas here:
50 Free Things to Do in NYC This Fall | Complex

The renegade craft fair sounds awesome.

Also - get dressed up at Halloween and hang out in various West Village bars, ice was never more easily broken…

HTH!

Re: Brit living in nyc
 

Having been born and raised in San Diego, it's always been a transplant city in my life (35 years now) and the military brings in a lot of people who end up staying as well after they are done with their service time.

Easier to find transplants from elsewhere generally then to find native born and raised as more and more leave for surrounding states as the cost of living has gotten too high, and it's difficult to make a decent living there now.

Re: Brit living in nyc
 

Did you feel you made true friends through this approach though, or just acquaintances? We have been here 10 weeks - I can tell you the name of loads of great friendly bartenders and some friendly people who inhabit those bars - but that is all! Maybe I need to give it more time and spend more time in those bars :)

Re: Brit living in nyc
 

Chrisdc, great advice!

I'm 44 and a native Manhattanite (now in London, and have been for over 3 years) and I agree that NYC is friendly and socialising is very different there than it is in the UK!

Many Brits often tend to travel in packs, based on my personal experience. My dad was from Northern Ireland - he had friends from all over but MANY were other Brits or other Irish. I know a lot of Brits in NYC. Personally I feel that one of the best things about NYC is the diversity... But it is not totally odd to seek out the familiar in a new location.

Making friends takes time. It will not happen in 10 weeks. I knew some people in London before I moved here, but as far as 'new' friends, in over three years, I've not made even one - just some casual Facebook connections.

But, again, in NYC, in local bars, the bartenders WILL introduce you around... it is a good start.

The Moth is awesome, even if you do not want to tell a story!

Re: Brit living in nyc
 

Hey, I'm in my thirties and in SD (and I love beer!) ... I'll drop you a private message!

Re: Brit living in nyc
 

Well, my oldest friend in the US is a girl who worked in a totally different department (and floor) in our office. I made some comment to her as I was passing her desk and we slipped really easily into an in-depth conversation. We're still great friends 13 years later. I realized from that experience how easy it is to get talking to Americans. I subsequently tried "chatting up" the locals in coffee bars and met a million people! People here seem very open - once you scratch the surface. I think it's a big part of why I decided to stay in the US.

My philosophy: People are the same everywhere, you just have to break the ice. In big cities the ice is thicker than in small towns. In the US it feels the ice is thinner than in the UK…. Our course everyone's experiences are different - just my perspective.

Re: Brit living in nyc
 

Oh, I totally agree... Americans are friendly. And it is genuine. Most are generally open to chat to a new person, no matter where that person is from.
Yes, you do have racism, or people in a bad mood... or whatever... but in general Americans are genuinely friendly people. It is a part of the culture.
I find the English, even in small towns, to be very... I don't know... Giving them the benefit of the doubt... Nervous? Extremely uncomfortable and therefore very unfriendly with people they don't know? Socially awkward?

Re: Brit living in nyc
 

Hi Jess, how are you getting on?,
I've been commuting for the last 18 months between here and London and finally made NYC home 6 weeks ago.
I was pretty lucky that I met people through my husband and I knew people here already but it can be pretty tough in a new place at first.
Have you got your card yet or still driving yourself stir crazy, are you in Manhattan?
Let me know if you're at a loose end

Re: Brit living in nyc
 

Go the brit meetup there are probably several english type meetup groups going on or an english football bar probably several again.