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-   -   Brit living in nyc (https://britishexpats.com/forum/usa-57/brit-living-nyc-844582/)

Jess2 Oct 6th 2014 2:47 pm

Brit living in nyc
 
Hi all,

Having lived in NYC for a few months now, finding it hard and lonely. We came for husbands job I'm still waiting for my EAD . We are both mid -late 20s any idea how we can meet people in Similar situations?

andrewlohnes Oct 6th 2014 3:10 pm

Re: Brit living in nyc
 
Just get out there and mingle. I'm 27 and when I make the move I'm just going to go places like sports bars, dog parks etc and just randomly talk to people that look half sharp, hopefully my accent will start a proper conversation and then "I'm new around here is there anywhere you recommend I check out? Fancy going there together?". I don't have a plan b yet though :p

Jess2 Oct 6th 2014 3:13 pm

Re: Brit living in nyc
 
Haha well we haven't got a dog so that's not really an option and the thing is wt bars everyone is in groups. When I go out with a friend of course we getting chatting to people but as a couple this doesnt happen

Good luck with your move

petitefrancaise Oct 6th 2014 3:13 pm

Re: Brit living in nyc
 
Try using meetup.com to find groups that do activities you like. Often the activities are free which is a bonus, you can turn up and see how you get on without any obligation. Good luck, you'll get there.

WEBlue Oct 6th 2014 3:18 pm

Re: Brit living in nyc
 

Originally Posted by petitefrancaise (Post 11429725)
Try using meetup.com to find groups that do activities you like. Often the activities are free which is a bonus, you can turn up and see how you get on without any obligation. Good luck, you'll get there.

Agree with monitoring meetup.com for interesting activities in your area. Some can be duds but some are really fun!

andrewlohnes Oct 6th 2014 3:18 pm

Re: Brit living in nyc
 
Yea I can see where you're coming from with the groups thing but even when I was little and changed schools it was like that at first until you make yourself known. Don't be unhappy though it's only been a few months that's no time at all. There's plenty of people in NYC on here I believe that will point you in the right direction :)

Nutmegger Oct 6th 2014 3:54 pm

Re: Brit living in nyc
 

Originally Posted by Jess2 (Post 11429707)
Hi all,

Having lived in NYC for a few months now, finding it hard and lonely. We came for husbands job I'm still waiting for my EAD . We are both mid -late 20s any idea how we can meet people in Similar situations?

What are you interested in? Take a tour at a museum and see if there are volunteer opportunities. Have you been to the NY library on Fifth Avenue? Amazing place to just sit in the reading room with a book or newspaper. You can also find out about events that might interest you there. Have you visited the Bronx Botanical Garden? Beautiful place, and they have a volunteer organization. Do you like to exercise -- a gym or the YMCA is a good place to meet people. Want to learn a new cuisine? Take a cooking class. Check out the TKTS booth and get a cheap seat at a matinee for a Bwy show. Any stay at home wives among your husband's new colleagues who might want to have lunch? Whatever your interests, there are groups in NYC with the same interests, you just have to be proactive and look for them. In NYC, you can't be British and wait for people to come to you, you have to go to them! And don't make the mistake of just looking for fellow Brits -- branch out and be open to meeting the folks in NY (most of whom came from somewhere else themselves!) and widening your horizons. Good luck!

petitefrancaise Oct 6th 2014 4:21 pm

Re: Brit living in nyc
 
I would also recommend that you investigate what you are planning to do for work once you receive your EAD (if you haven't already) Do you have to take any exams? Build up your career network, can you volunteer somewhere to help you get yourself known? Or maybe you're the lucky one who has a job lined up?

IlAlfie Oct 6th 2014 10:07 pm

Re: Brit living in nyc
 
We didn't know anyone when we moved to NYC. I was then on a B-2 visa, so no work, and my partner was field-based so no main office to go into. It was very very tough to meet people. We made a few friends in the end but it was not easy.

I volunteered for a while and you might find people in a similar situation as you. There are tons of organizations that you could try. Start a new hobby. Some friends of ours volunteered at a theatre group when they lived in NYC. Said it was a great way to meet people. But I agree, it doesn't get easier as you get older.

Sally Redux Oct 6th 2014 10:09 pm

Re: Brit living in nyc
 

Originally Posted by andrewlohnes (Post 11429722)
Just get out there and mingle. I'm 27 and when I make the move I'm just going to go places like sports bars, dog parks etc and just randomly talk to people that look half sharp, hopefully my accent will start a proper conversation and then "I'm new around here is there anywhere you recommend I check out? Fancy going there together?". I don't have a plan b yet though :p

Riiight...should go over well...

Bob Oct 6th 2014 10:56 pm

Re: Brit living in nyc
 
Facebook, it'll have a Brit group as well as any other kind of hobby group like meetup.com does and it might be more active.

If you've got kids, it's a lot easier as you've got all the kids things to go to to meet other parents.

Still, if you're not, there's still the library, hobby groups, going to the gym, volunteering at whatever interests and other things like a newcomers group to the town area you're in.

retzie Oct 7th 2014 12:21 am

Re: Brit living in nyc
 
Taking a class is a good way to start, eg. cooking, art, dance, martial arts, etc. Ideally, do something you'll be committed to and attend regularly over a period of time. Even if you don't make 'proper' friends, seeing the same people consistently builds up a sense of camaraderie.

It also helps take the edge off "will anyone even notice if I disappear completely?"
:o

Oh, and the last thing you want to do is meet people in a similar situation. Meet people with lives and friends and proceed to borrow them!

andrewlohnes Oct 7th 2014 4:38 am

Re: Brit living in nyc
 

Originally Posted by Sally Redux (Post 11430125)
Riiight...should go over well...

Oh so people can talk online and go on dates never having met each other but when you talk to someone face to face and then say about going somewhere together that won't go down well?? Think about it.

retzie Oct 7th 2014 1:43 pm

Re: Brit living in nyc
 

Originally Posted by andrewlohnes (Post 11430357)
Oh so people can talk online and go on dates never having met each other but when you talk to someone face to face and then say about going somewhere together that won't go down well??

Absolutely! Indeed, it's got to the point where some people won't ask others on a date in real life, because they prefer the online format (something about seeing all the relevant details upfront :confused:). More generally, I find that lots of potentially social occasions have become much less social, as people are too busy on their phones. I have been left behind by my own generation :unsure:

Oh, and straight up suggesting going places with strangers when you're new in town is not recommended. I mean, I've done some 'risky' things (why yes, I'll get in a car with two guys I just met to drive to an illegal dance party!), but it's always involved judging the particulars of the situation itself - I would not suggest it as a good overall mixing strategy!

I have moved country once and city twice on my own. There is definitely an element of 'putting yourself out there', but remember: while you'll be pushing yourself out of your own comfort zone a lot of the time, don't expect the locals to! Comes off as clingy and weird.

andrewlohnes Oct 7th 2014 2:48 pm

Re: Brit living in nyc
 
Oh yeah of course, I'd find it strange if a old man did it to me but as a 27 year old if I met another 27ish year old that was from Australia for example, and we got talking over a few drinks or out walking my dog and I found out he was new here knows nothing about the area and then asked to go for a drink sometime or go bowling or something I'd say 'yea why not'. I'd add him on Facebook and talk abit more first. Maybe I'm just too easy going.


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