ian-mstm

This has always stood me in good stead! I have a copy on the wall in my office. Like you, I didn't want to be one of those who looks back on life with regrets and what-ifs!

Ian

TimFountain

Well, you are asking a biased group, whether that is good or bad is debatable. However I'd say do it, if you don't like it at least you'll know you tried. Just come with an open mind, don't expect things to be like back home and look upon it as an adventure. My parents always regretted not taking that 1 way ticket to Australia back in the 50's and my dad still occasionally say "I wonder how things would have turned out if....". Make sure the package your OH gets is watertight and in writing on duration, trips home, who pays for what, what the next steps are if you decided to stay (i.e. green card sponsorship etc. etc.

Good Luck

- Tim

PS Make sure your OH gets and L1 and not an H1B. H1B is the visa from hell if you do decide to stay, or you want to work.
PPS I have an aspergers with ADHD and the support we get is excellent. He gets 4 hours a week of individual tuition and counseling to help with his social issues. Key is to get an evaluation done, the schools won't do jack until you have a professional report in hand. He was born here BTW so I have no knowledge of how different things would be in the UK….

Jerseygirl

The £10 Pom ticket. My mother used to say the same...I didn't want to follow in her footsteps. Instead now I say...'what if we'd stayed in the UK?'

MsElui

its never a wrong choice. You learn something about yourself with every choice (even if its as simple as you dont like it).

I would be inclined to try it. Worst case and its too hard/expensive etc then you can go back and try a new scene in the UK. Best case you like it and get to stay.

You are in a rare situation whereby you have a backout plan so i would try it. (we were lucky enough to be in the same situation and it worked out well here for us).

AddyLaddy

We moved to Seattle last October with 4 kids aged from 15 down to 3. So it was a big move for us and them. They seem to be settling well, us less so.
The weather is the same, but that's where the comparisons end.

Lots of things are expensive over here and owning your own property is a recipe to lose lots, of money so expect to rent for many years.

Pre-school education is expensive, so is food, health care, dentistry, mobile phones and 2nd hand cars to name but a few. So ask for a *big* salary increase to compensate, maybe 30% ?

I've left my wife's parents without any grandchildren at home, so I feel quite guilty about that. But they are currently healthy and wealthy enough to come and see us.

On the positive side, Seattle is an interesting and fun city and there are lots of outdoor pursuits. We're currently skiing in the Cascade mountains. I'm looking forward to the long and dry summer everyone promises me!

All the best!

Yorkieabroad

Really - where are you going to then?

Sorry, couldn't resist - been to Seattle a few times and love it. We were last up at Spring Break last year, skiing in Snoqualmie and doing all the fantastic museums and kids things that there are there. And the weather was beautiful! It is one of my absolute favorite US cities.

Yorkieabroad

I know you have a lot to consider, and your sons situation makes it a bit more complicated decision than some of us had, but I too would throw my hat in the "try it and see ring". Its a great opportunity your husbands company is offering - something a lot of people would give their right arm for,a nd it may be the best thing you ever do. Or the worst. And you won't know which unless you do it.

Personally, I couldn't live with the "what if" scenario when I'm sitting on the porch in my rocking chair in 30(?) years time....only you can tell whether you and your family could......Just make sure you have an exit strategy if it doesn't work out - ie don't burn your bridges in the UK, don't sell your UK house if you can manage it, try to negotiate a relocation package back to the UK with your husbands company etc etc.

And with your son, do a lot of research on the school districts - the one we are in has fantastic programs for special needs kids at no extra cost. We have a lot of kids with autism, aspergers, downs etc, and without exception the parents have nothing but praise for the assistance they get. The next school district over are a different matter - they take a "sink, swim or get out of the water" approach.

nettlebed

Bad assumption. It is totally hit and miss. I have an autistic nephew, who gets pretty good care, but it is EXPENSIVE. Other people are not so lucky. Seattle isn't the worst place, though. Children's Hospital is world-renowned.

Jemima80

Thank you so much for your replies everyone - a lot to think about

AmeriLisa Thanks for the tips

From what I have been reading today & a person I have been speaking to, we would not have to pay for his education, we would take the IEP he has here over with us and they would have to go with it (obviously we'd have to give them a lot more notice than usual) the one thing we would lose is the carers allowance I receive and the disability benefit my son gets as I don't think we'd still get it from the UK either.

Ian - so true! Its difficult to know which path is right.

Yep, it would be an L1 he is going for which looks like the best for us thankfully. Glad your son is being well looked after Tim, its very hard isn't it!?

AddyLaddy, thanks for your reply, sounds like a huge move for you all! where were you from in the UK? WHere I am in Surrey is sooooooooooooooo expensive. Daycare here is £70 per day average house (& by average I'm talking small 3 bed semi) is £350k food shops these days is easily £100 per week and filling my car up each week comes close to £70 is it much different to that in Seattle? We would keep our Uk house & rent it out so would be renting over there.

Thanks again for your replies, good to hear other peoples thoughts that have been there & done it!

nettlebed

Is the job actually in Seattle, or somewhere close? The Eastside (Bellevue, Redmond and Kirkland, plus parts beyond such as Samammish, Issaquah, Renton and Woodinville) have some very large employers too. The commute across Lake Washington isn't too bad heading into Seattle, but can be very bad if you're heading east. Bellevue has one of the best public school systems in the whole of the US, and Lake Washington District 414 (essentially Redmond and Kirkland) is pretty good too.

If you can give us more details of where the job would be people will be able to offer better guidance on what your options for living would be.

Adding in edit: my opinion, like Ian's, is that it is always better to take the risk (provided it's not suicidal) and try new experiences: I've always done that and have never once regretted it. Safety and sameness are boring...

AmerLisa

Yes, you wouldn't pay for his education, nor the services (speech, occupation therapy, physical therapy, for example) that he may need. Initially they will go with his current IEP with another meeting (usually 30 days out, although it may take longer) to give him a new IEP, but certainly they will take goals and services he's already doing/getting (and your input) into consideration. Some services take a while to implement, assessments needed to be done, sometimes it can seem so slow.

Anyway, good luck. Will love to hear how it all works out for you.

AmerLisa

I've heard Northshore School District is good as well. Certainly if we could move further north, we were looking at homes in that school district. Their test scores were pretty good.....

Jemima80

Thanks guys
It is pretty much central I think - looking at the map it is near the Seattle center if that means anything to anyone??? & not far from Seattle university... I think its difficult to tell how close everything on the map is - asking my husband is useless as it just says - yeh, its in Seattle - great very helpful

nettlebed

Sounds like it's in the South Lake Union area, then, which is pretty much equidistant between Seattle Center and Seattle University (on Capitol Hill). That means it's easy(ish) I-5 access (the Mercer Street exit is currently, um, challenging) for N-S travel, and close to the SR-520/I-5 interchange for access from the Eastside. I work in SLU, and know the area pretty well.

Redmond/Bellevue/Kirkland access to there is going to be about a 20-25 minute drive (longer if traffic is horked). From the north end, between 15 and 90 minutes, depending on how far north you are. From the south end, it'd be 45 minutes plus, depending on how nice you want the place to be.

There are lots of condos in the SLU area, but prices are heading up at present (Amazon.com is moving several thousand people to the SLU campus at present).

Jemima80

Thanks Nettlebed, thats really helpful. When you see it on a map it is literally in a horizontal line from Bellevue with the small exception of a large amount of water
We're currently moving house here in the UK at the moment (nothing like making life as stressful as possible) but hoping that we may get a chance over Easter time for me to come and have a visit. My husband says it's great there but in fairness he has only been without me & the kids and in my view a padded cell for a couple of nights without children could be great Plus he has obviously only seen the touristy side of things and didn't really head out of the city centre, so hopefully we'll get a chance to do this when we visit.