Patrick Hasler

My darling wife 'Kate' has been alone preparing for my best Christmas since living here as I worked away for a month and got back here Christmas eve shattered and worn out.
While I was away I got a call from the UK telling me my 91 year old Dad was very ill, I stayed in touch by phone regularly but I was told that he sometimes seemed to be his old self.
I came home to a Christmas you would never belive, crackers, McVitties choclate home wheat, Cadburys flakes, mince pies, ginger beer, a St George flag, a tin of mushy peas A BOX OF MALTESERS I have been given a real English holiday (10 days off)................ This is what Christmas is all about.
I phoned Northampton General hospital Christmas morning to be told "Don't worry or rush to get on a plane, your father is sitting up chatting and has eaten breakfast and Christmas dinner. ........... The day was complete as it could be.
Today (Boxing day) I get call to tell me he died.

I am beside myself with grief and my darling wife thinks it his her fault because I would be there if not for her. ............ I told her that her and the kids are the future hard though it may make me seem.

Virgin Atlantic have told us they will do what the can to get the lowest ticket costs but they need the actuall flight times and a copy of the death certificate.

If I am not on for a while you will understand.

Rompers

My condolences for your loss.

I hope that after a while you can draw comfort from the fact that your father spent his last day enjoying Christmas.

nethead

OMG Patrick, I'm so very sorry, my heart goes out to you.

Maz

Oh Patrick I'm so very, very sorry to hear your awful news. I hope you can get the needed plane tickets. I went through the same thing in 2000 when my Granny passed away. My Mum faxed the death certificate to me, and then I faxed it to Virgin Atlantic, who acted very quickly and gave me a good rate for my flights.

britvic

Very sorry to hear of your loss Patrick

joto

What an awful way for such a good Christmas to end. You are right. The wife and kids are the way forward, but your parents gave you the base to be the person you are. Sorry about your Dad. It's never an easy time to deal with a death, but Christmas seems to be the worst. Good luck with getting the flights you need.

Ben

Patrick, I am so sorry to hear of your sad news. It is hard being so far away and not knowing what to do for best. And no, it doesn't make you hard looking at your wife and children as your future. Your father was a good age and was obviously enjoying life to the last minute. Even if you were living in the UK, you could have been a few hours away and get the same phonecall. You obviously loved him very much.

I do wish you a safe flight home and hope you get one sorted quickly.

dan_alford

My condolences on your loss Patrick. It is hard to be away from your family when they are ill and is one of the biggest hardships of being an expat.

I went through something similar in 2000. I met Marti (my now wife) online and after chatting for about a year she was coming over to spend Christmas with me and my mum. She arrived on Saturday and we spent the weekend like most lovers who were apart would . I called my mum on Sunday and told her that we would be driving to Norfolk ( from Milton Keynes) on Tuesday. My mum was really looking forward to meeting Marti. Everything was good in the world.

Monday, I tried to call my mum to tell her to get some "American" food when she went shopping but didn't get an answer. Later that day my uncle called. My mum had died during the night from a heart attack. I was completely gutted and felt like someone had just pulled my legs from under me. It was a very melancholy Christmas but I got through it with the love and support of Marti.

Leslie

I'm sorry to hear your sad news, Patrick. I know you're a wreck right now (and you will continue to be for a little while) but believe it or not it does get easier with time. Now go back home and grieve your loss as much or as little as you need to - in whatever way you see fit. Don't let anybody tell you how your should or shouldn't be feeling, acting or progressing - these things are different for each person. Hopefully, by next Christmas you'll be able to remember your Dad with joy instead of sadness.

Leslie

Tbag

I am so very sorry for your loss.
It is the phone call that I am terrified of receiving every day.

My dad was taken into hospital Christmas day and I received a call fearing the worst, with relief he is doing ok.

My heart truly hurts for your news and please take some comfort in knowing that we are here for you on BE and somehow understand this difficult time.

Toontje

Sorry to hear about your dad Patrick. Words fail me.


About 10 days before Christmas I got a call that my dad has lung cancer and refuses treatment. He's sick and tired of doctors messing around with him. He has seen too many hospitals from the inside in the last decade and since chances are slim that he can be cured he told us (my mum, sister and me) that he wants to enjoy the last few months the doctors have given him with my mum as good as he can.
In January I'll be flying to Holland to visit him and I'm afraid it'll be the last time I see him.

Englishmum

So sorry to hear of your loss, Patrick.

Have just been in a similar scenario (last month) with my Mother-in-law.

British Airways were wonderful - didn't even need to see a copy of the death certificate for the outgoing flight (she hadn't died at that point, and didn't even want to get a note faxed from the hospital).

Suggest you also call BA. I will send you a PM with the dedicated reservation numbers. You will need to provide the copy of the death cert for the return flight, otherwise they reserve the right to charge the full fare...in practice, we were going to show the cert at check-in at Heathrow but they said they didn't need to see it (they just don't want every Tom, Dick and Harry trying it on to get cheap flights and we were told they can usually tell when it doesn't seem genuine).

Here is my account of how we got urgent compassionate flights:

http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=406283

Please do check your PM box!

California Dreamin'

Partick; Not bad though mate 91 ? It's not the best time to go, but there are a lot worse off than that. You've got to be at least about 60 ?? It's not like you are a little lad just lost his daddy with no presents for Christmas is it ?
Get over there when the rush is over, you can get the death certificate then and have a couple of pints and thank God he lived a good long life.
My mate lost his daughter aged 23 a couple of years ago on Boxing Day to cancer, so 91 doesn't sound at all bad to me. Bad timing like, but life is like that.

Elvira

I am very sorry for your loss, Patrick.

ironporer

I am sure my words mean little or nothing in this time Patrick, though I do know it will get better over time. Go home- celebrate your Dad's live, greive his loss, comfort your family and keep all those great memories you have.

I am so sorry.