Been here 6 months today and...
Sep 2nd 2010, 9:59 pm
#16
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jul 2010
Location: North East Ohio, USA
Posts: 1,932
Re: Been here 6 months today and...
For me the 'national pride culture' that this country has is one of the things that seriously makes me question whether I want to stay here long term or not. I cant stand the jingoistic nature of everything...the national anthem being played before every sport event, the way that so many people here simply dont think that the rest of the world matters, the ridiculous extremes of 'mainstream' politics. I like being English, I'm fairly patriotic, but lets be honest...I had no control over where I was born and neither did anyone else. I think a real patriot loves their country but should also be critical and question things....the idea of a 'patriot' here seems to simply be blindly defending the country no matter what.
Sometimes I love it here, and then other times I switch on something like Fox News...which is the most widely watched news channel in the country...and it makes me pretty sure that I couldnt imagine raising children in a place like this. The fact that there are lots and lots of people that would actually want someone like Sarah Palin for president genuinely terrifies me. In no other western country would you find such stupidity. I'm not even particularly left wing or liberal...at home I'm a conservative voter, but the right wing in this country are so right wing its crazy...the very thinly veiled racism, the selfishness...its insane. The religious aspect is the other thing that I cant stand. I really hope that one day we evolve beyond religion, but the US seems to be going in the opposite direction.
As for the homesick question...I've been here 2 and a half years, and I havent really suffered any serious homesickness yet. I love living in NYC, maybe I'm in something of a bubble, but I dont really feel an urge to go home at the moment. I havent been back in 9 months and I cant say I am in a huge rush...I'll go home at some point before xmas for a visit, but its not as important to me as it was in the first year I was here.
Sometimes I love it here, and then other times I switch on something like Fox News...which is the most widely watched news channel in the country...and it makes me pretty sure that I couldnt imagine raising children in a place like this. The fact that there are lots and lots of people that would actually want someone like Sarah Palin for president genuinely terrifies me. In no other western country would you find such stupidity. I'm not even particularly left wing or liberal...at home I'm a conservative voter, but the right wing in this country are so right wing its crazy...the very thinly veiled racism, the selfishness...its insane. The religious aspect is the other thing that I cant stand. I really hope that one day we evolve beyond religion, but the US seems to be going in the opposite direction.
As for the homesick question...I've been here 2 and a half years, and I havent really suffered any serious homesickness yet. I love living in NYC, maybe I'm in something of a bubble, but I dont really feel an urge to go home at the moment. I havent been back in 9 months and I cant say I am in a huge rush...I'll go home at some point before xmas for a visit, but its not as important to me as it was in the first year I was here.
Sep 2nd 2010, 10:41 pm
#17
Are we there yet?
Joined: Jul 2007
Location: 31 miles from Cool (California)
Posts: 2,467
Sep 2nd 2010, 11:08 pm
#18
Just Joined
Joined: Aug 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 21
Re: Been here 6 months today and...
I'm US born & hubby a naturalized USC but we'd be fast on your heels if the UK would take us in. (Canada & Mexico would be overflowing)
Sep 3rd 2010, 1:12 am
#19
Dallas
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 220
Re: Been here 6 months today and...
I'm here 10 months now and proud to say I survived my first Texas summer! Have had a couple of bouts of not so much homesickess, but just missing my family, as I think you get used to having a support system around you.
My only gripe right now is my lack of credit history (which I'm working on) which means I have to pay 18% interest on my car loan just now......however it will be getting refinanced ASAP! And also the cost of health insurance- I work for a small company that don't provide benefits so I'm a bit short of cash right now, I'm seriously thinking about cancelling my insurance for a while....but on the other hand knowing my luck if I do, I'll probably get struck down with something!!
However my general standard of living is better than it was in the UK, which is never a bad thing.
My only gripe right now is my lack of credit history (which I'm working on) which means I have to pay 18% interest on my car loan just now......however it will be getting refinanced ASAP! And also the cost of health insurance- I work for a small company that don't provide benefits so I'm a bit short of cash right now, I'm seriously thinking about cancelling my insurance for a while....but on the other hand knowing my luck if I do, I'll probably get struck down with something!!
However my general standard of living is better than it was in the UK, which is never a bad thing.
Sep 3rd 2010, 1:37 am
#20
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Joined: Jul 2010
Location: North East Ohio, USA
Posts: 1,932
Re: Been here 6 months today and...
It's nice to hear you are happy and settling in and all that.
Not quite as easy to predict if you'll ever be homesick. You may be lucky and never get hit with it at all. I've been here 5 years and I have been hit with it twice. First was about 2 years in, and it lasted about 18 months.
Then again this year, believe it or not. I thought I had put it behind me, we had a new baby, I became a citizen and all that jazz, and then about a month ago I started seriously questioning whether I had made the right desicion in not spending more time on the idea of my (then) fiancee moving to Northern Ireland instead of the other way round. I'm not quite sure what kicked it all off, but probably a combination of severe resentment of the US work culture (an extension of this is not having enoug vacation days to actually visit home), my mum having an extended stay with us to visit the new baby and recently heading home, Google Streets and the flickr photo pages of my old home town.
I could go on, but I don't want to derail your thread of bring you down. Suffice it to say that right now, if I was to be honest, given the chance I'd move us all to the UK tomorrow and never look back. I know I'm vastly in the minority on this board, and that's fine. It's just hard to shake the feeling that I'm stuck here.
Ah, well, I'll get over it. I'll have to - the only person I have even hinted about this to was my mum, and only in passing. I don't think I can talk to my wife about this, she might take it the wrong way. I shall suffer in silence!
Sorry if I went off topic a little there - this has been on my mind a lot recently. I'm not bashing the US of course - the country itself (geographically) is a beautiful place. I'm not sure I like the people much any more though, horrible as that seems. I feel sort of displaced, very weird.
Again, as I say, I'm in the minority it would seem, and you don't sound like you're as much of a b'stard as my good self, so I bet you'll have a much better outcome!
Not quite as easy to predict if you'll ever be homesick. You may be lucky and never get hit with it at all. I've been here 5 years and I have been hit with it twice. First was about 2 years in, and it lasted about 18 months.
Then again this year, believe it or not. I thought I had put it behind me, we had a new baby, I became a citizen and all that jazz, and then about a month ago I started seriously questioning whether I had made the right desicion in not spending more time on the idea of my (then) fiancee moving to Northern Ireland instead of the other way round. I'm not quite sure what kicked it all off, but probably a combination of severe resentment of the US work culture (an extension of this is not having enoug vacation days to actually visit home), my mum having an extended stay with us to visit the new baby and recently heading home, Google Streets and the flickr photo pages of my old home town.
I could go on, but I don't want to derail your thread of bring you down. Suffice it to say that right now, if I was to be honest, given the chance I'd move us all to the UK tomorrow and never look back. I know I'm vastly in the minority on this board, and that's fine. It's just hard to shake the feeling that I'm stuck here.
Ah, well, I'll get over it. I'll have to - the only person I have even hinted about this to was my mum, and only in passing. I don't think I can talk to my wife about this, she might take it the wrong way. I shall suffer in silence!
Sorry if I went off topic a little there - this has been on my mind a lot recently. I'm not bashing the US of course - the country itself (geographically) is a beautiful place. I'm not sure I like the people much any more though, horrible as that seems. I feel sort of displaced, very weird.
Again, as I say, I'm in the minority it would seem, and you don't sound like you're as much of a b'stard as my good self, so I bet you'll have a much better outcome!
Sep 3rd 2010, 3:04 am
#22
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Aug 2009
Location: Silicone Valley
Posts: 1,730
Re: Been here 6 months today and...
I love the US, I made the decision to move here so I have to live with it, yes life is much better than the UK, but to make it complete I'd have a job, I don't, and the endless Resume sending or interviews with no thanks, but no thanks e mails get you down ( I just find it rude and ill mannered, I hired and fired for many years but would never have treated people the way they are treated here.) Would I change it, no, and maybe when the decision to move here was made the job market was very different, but it sucks!
I just read that back and it makes no sense, but to those of us endlessly job hunting I'm sure it will!
I just read that back and it makes no sense, but to those of us endlessly job hunting I'm sure it will!
Sep 3rd 2010, 3:16 am
#23
I have a comma problem
Joined: Feb 2009
Location: Fox Lake, IL (from Carrickfergus NI)
Posts: 49,598
Re: Been here 6 months today and...
There are plenty of people who feel the same as you. I have been here 23 years and still get homesick from time to time and even still think about moving back - not sure where I'd go back to - N Ireland where I grew up or England (where I moved from). There's a lot I like about the US but also a lot I don't like. So don't think you are in the minority. A lot of us feel like that!!
Sep 3rd 2010, 3:22 am
#24
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Joined: Feb 2009
Location: Herts to CA for nearly 10 years and now MD
Posts: 351
Re: Been here 6 months today and...
I've been in Bay Area for nearly 8 years (minus a quick relocation to Australia and China in the middle of that) and I feel like this is home, for now. I do miss Blighty but when I think of all my friends back in the UK, they have spread out to the 4 corners of the Kingdom so I'd not be able to slip easily back into my old social network. And quite honestly, my old social life is what I miss most.
Neither me nor hubby have relatives living within a 6 hour flight of us so we spend a lot of time on the videochat and there's no nipping away for a romantic weekend whilst the grandparents take care of the kids.
I try not to let the politics, gun lobby, education system and real estate mafia bother me enough to let me lose sleep over it. The work opportunities here are more than they would be for me in the UK and I definitely feel that the working culture here suits my background and qualifications. I have more opportunity here than if I was in the UK (then again, that is probably more to do with working for an amazing Silicon Valley company rather than the US vs UK debate)
But, you've got the right idea. Stay positive. No-one likes a grouch (in fact, I was genuinely asked in my old company if it was a cultural thing for Brits to complain!)
Neither me nor hubby have relatives living within a 6 hour flight of us so we spend a lot of time on the videochat and there's no nipping away for a romantic weekend whilst the grandparents take care of the kids.
I try not to let the politics, gun lobby, education system and real estate mafia bother me enough to let me lose sleep over it. The work opportunities here are more than they would be for me in the UK and I definitely feel that the working culture here suits my background and qualifications. I have more opportunity here than if I was in the UK (then again, that is probably more to do with working for an amazing Silicon Valley company rather than the US vs UK debate)
But, you've got the right idea. Stay positive. No-one likes a grouch (in fact, I was genuinely asked in my old company if it was a cultural thing for Brits to complain!)
Sep 3rd 2010, 4:57 am
#25
Forum Regular
Joined: Feb 2006
Location: Nashville,TN
Posts: 81
Re: Been here 6 months today and...
It's nice to hear you are happy and settling in and all that.
Not quite as easy to predict if you'll ever be homesick. You may be lucky and never get hit with it at all. I've been here 5 years and I have been hit with it twice. First was about 2 years in, and it lasted about 18 months.
Then again this year, believe it or not. I thought I had put it behind me, we had a new baby, I became a citizen and all that jazz, and then about a month ago I started seriously questioning whether I had made the right desicion in not spending more time on the idea of my (then) fiancee moving to Northern Ireland instead of the other way round. I'm not quite sure what kicked it all off, but probably a combination of severe resentment of the US work culture (an extension of this is not having enoug vacation days to actually visit home), my mum having an extended stay with us to visit the new baby and recently heading home, Google Streets and the flickr photo pages of my old home town.
I could go on, but I don't want to derail your thread of bring you down. Suffice it to say that right now, if I was to be honest, given the chance I'd move us all to the UK tomorrow and never look back. I know I'm vastly in the minority on this board, and that's fine. It's just hard to shake the feeling that I'm stuck here.
Ah, well, I'll get over it. I'll have to - the only person I have even hinted about this to was my mum, and only in passing. I don't think I can talk to my wife about this, she might take it the wrong way. I shall suffer in silence!
Sorry if I went off topic a little there - this has been on my mind a lot recently. I'm not bashing the US of course - the country itself (geographically) is a beautiful place. I'm not sure I like the people much any more though, horrible as that seems. I feel sort of displaced, very weird.
Again, as I say, I'm in the minority it would seem, and you don't sound like you're as much of a b'stard as my good self, so I bet you'll have a much better outcome!
Not quite as easy to predict if you'll ever be homesick. You may be lucky and never get hit with it at all. I've been here 5 years and I have been hit with it twice. First was about 2 years in, and it lasted about 18 months.
Then again this year, believe it or not. I thought I had put it behind me, we had a new baby, I became a citizen and all that jazz, and then about a month ago I started seriously questioning whether I had made the right desicion in not spending more time on the idea of my (then) fiancee moving to Northern Ireland instead of the other way round. I'm not quite sure what kicked it all off, but probably a combination of severe resentment of the US work culture (an extension of this is not having enoug vacation days to actually visit home), my mum having an extended stay with us to visit the new baby and recently heading home, Google Streets and the flickr photo pages of my old home town.
I could go on, but I don't want to derail your thread of bring you down. Suffice it to say that right now, if I was to be honest, given the chance I'd move us all to the UK tomorrow and never look back. I know I'm vastly in the minority on this board, and that's fine. It's just hard to shake the feeling that I'm stuck here.
Ah, well, I'll get over it. I'll have to - the only person I have even hinted about this to was my mum, and only in passing. I don't think I can talk to my wife about this, she might take it the wrong way. I shall suffer in silence!
Sorry if I went off topic a little there - this has been on my mind a lot recently. I'm not bashing the US of course - the country itself (geographically) is a beautiful place. I'm not sure I like the people much any more though, horrible as that seems. I feel sort of displaced, very weird.
Again, as I say, I'm in the minority it would seem, and you don't sound like you're as much of a b'stard as my good self, so I bet you'll have a much better outcome!
I agree with some of the others too about that Palin woman...l can't stand her either !
Sep 3rd 2010, 1:20 pm
#26
I have a comma problem
Joined: Feb 2009
Location: Fox Lake, IL (from Carrickfergus NI)
Posts: 49,598
Re: Been here 6 months today and...
I agree with Sultan...l've been here 12 yrs and am also a US citizen now but l don't care for it here very much,even though l know that l'm better off here than in the UK but l'd move back tomorrow if l could,unfortunately l think l'm here to stay now. I have a great (American) wife and she's really the only thing that's keeping me here.
I agree with some of the others too about that Palin woman...l can't stand her either !
I agree with some of the others too about that Palin woman...l can't stand her either !
It's all academic anyway - even if I could get reinstated at my old grade, it's unlikely we'll be able to make enough to buy a house, since we still owe too much on our house here to sell for a profit. I find if I limit my time out of the house I can deal with it. At least I'm closer here to my two best mates from home, who now live in Canada with their wives.
Sep 4th 2010, 9:52 pm
#27
Forum Regular
Joined: Oct 2007
Location: Windsor, Berks now Santa Barbara, California USA
Posts: 92
Re: Been here 6 months today and...
I think that most men settle here better than women - partly because women are more family oriented and often miss their family members back home. It took me a long time to settle in the US. I have been here 23 years and still think of going back to the UK - in fact the older I get and the longer I live here the more I think about going back. I don't hate it here, but there are some things about the US lifestyle that really bother me. My (adult) children tell me that I would never settle back in the UK because I have been here so long, but I'm not sure about that. They may be right.
Glad you like it here so far - let's see if you feel the same way in January when it's freezing cold and there's a foot of snow outside your front door
Glad you like it here so far - let's see if you feel the same way in January when it's freezing cold and there's a foot of snow outside your front door
Sep 4th 2010, 10:15 pm
#28
Forum Regular
Joined: Oct 2007
Location: Windsor, Berks now Santa Barbara, California USA
Posts: 92
Re: Been here 6 months today and...
Sep 8th 2010, 2:53 am
#29
Just Joined
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 10
Re: Been here 6 months today and...
Hi All
I arrived here 29th July and cant settle.
Initially came out and liked it 3 times, but now im here.
When I came out , I got a return as it was cheaper than a single.
Unless I have a sudden change of heart, Im going back on sept 23rd.
Im from Cheshire but fancy going to Dumfries& galloway to be near my brother.
I think the farewell emails got to me some what??
Anyone else had the same feeling after one month.??????????????
I arrived here 29th July and cant settle.
Initially came out and liked it 3 times, but now im here.
When I came out , I got a return as it was cheaper than a single.
Unless I have a sudden change of heart, Im going back on sept 23rd.
Im from Cheshire but fancy going to Dumfries& galloway to be near my brother.
I think the farewell emails got to me some what??
Anyone else had the same feeling after one month.??????????????
Sep 8th 2010, 3:04 am
#30
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Aug 2009
Location: Silicone Valley
Posts: 1,730
Re: Been here 6 months today and...
Hi All
I arrived here 29th July and cant settle.
Initially came out and liked it 3 times, but now im here.
When I came out , I got a return as it was cheaper than a single.
Unless I have a sudden change of heart, Im going back on sept 23rd.
Im from Cheshire but fancy going to Dumfries& galloway to be near my brother.
I think the farewell emails got to me some what??
Anyone else had the same feeling after one month.??????????????
I arrived here 29th July and cant settle.
Initially came out and liked it 3 times, but now im here.
When I came out , I got a return as it was cheaper than a single.
Unless I have a sudden change of heart, Im going back on sept 23rd.
Im from Cheshire but fancy going to Dumfries& galloway to be near my brother.
I think the farewell emails got to me some what??
Anyone else had the same feeling after one month.??????????????
Truly a month isn't really giving it a fair shot, what do you miss? what can you do about it, ie, I miss the bread, I cant beat them (it all tastes like cake to me) so I make my own, problem solved.
I guess you need to think about whats causing it and try to solve it, I'm sorry you feel like that its bloody horrible!