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Bat Mitzvahs

Bat Mitzvahs

Old May 23rd 2011, 6:42 pm
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Default Bat Mitzvahs

Can you tell it's raining outside? This is my 3rd post today

My daughter has been invited to a couple of Bat Mitzvahs and this will be hers and our first experience of them. I have done some research on what the do's and don'ts are but the one question I have is more personal. With regards to the 'present' of money in multiples of 18, would $36 dollars be seen as too stingy? She has two next month and I feel they won't be the last. They are school friends of hers but by no means BFF's.

What would you send and also how does the money get handed over and to whom??
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Old May 23rd 2011, 6:56 pm
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Default Re: Bat Mitzvahs

Depends how close friends they are...if they're close, a bit more, other wise, sod 'em, it's a money grubbing exercise inviting folks you've only just met or aren't very close with.
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Old May 23rd 2011, 6:57 pm
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Default Re: Bat Mitzvahs

Originally Posted by Bob View Post
Depends how close friends they are...if they're close, a bit more, other wise, sod 'em, it's a money grubbing exercise inviting folks you've only just met or aren't very close with.
I think it may also depend on where you are in the US.
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Old May 23rd 2011, 7:36 pm
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Default Re: Bat Mitzvahs

Any multiple of $18 is fine, it is what you feel you can afford not what is considered stingy. Double chai i.e. $36 is probably more than enough. A check to the child in a nice card is usually sufficient.
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Old May 23rd 2011, 10:06 pm
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Default Re: Bat Mitzvahs

Originally Posted by nethead View Post
I think it may also depend on where you are in the US.
Summit, NJ
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Old May 23rd 2011, 10:07 pm
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Default Re: Bat Mitzvahs

Originally Posted by sir_eccles View Post
Any multiple of $18 is fine, it is what you feel you can afford not what is considered stingy. Double chai i.e. $36 is probably more than enough. A check to the child in a nice card is usually sufficient.
I think so too. So I make the check out to the child?
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Old May 23rd 2011, 10:08 pm
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Default Re: Bat Mitzvahs

My daughter must have gone to at least 50, gets very expensive.
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Old May 23rd 2011, 10:15 pm
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Default Re: Bat Mitzvahs

Originally Posted by G.n.Tgirl View Post
Summit, NJ
Double the $18 should be fine.

The great thing about Summit is that you have those that can give hugely and will, but at the same time it has its lower income area. One thing I have noticed is that there does not seem to be any disharmony in the town.

Get ready for lots of these parties!!!
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Old May 23rd 2011, 10:18 pm
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Default Re: Bat Mitzvahs

Thank goodness that's something I don't have to think about or pay for.

I just baulked at being told I have to include an extra 5 dollars to the price of the end of school dinner meal to buy the teachers a present.

My kid hates half her current teachers and I hate being told what to do and what to pay.
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Old May 23rd 2011, 10:30 pm
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Default Re: Bat Mitzvahs

Originally Posted by Lorna at Vicenza View Post
Thank goodness that's something I don't have to think about or pay for.

I just baulked at being told I have to include an extra 5 dollars to the price of the end of school dinner meal to buy the teachers a present.

My kid hates half her current teachers and I hate being told what to do and what to pay.
You were told you had to???

I agree with hate being told what to pay. At the moment its the obligatory 20% gratuity up front for limos and such like. I decide what gratuity I want to pay, that the whole point of it... but I digress
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Old May 23rd 2011, 10:37 pm
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Default Re: Bat Mitzvahs

Originally Posted by Sally Redux View Post
My daughter must have gone to at least 50, gets very expensive.
50!! Very expensive indeed ... the dress, the hair, the present!!!
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Old May 23rd 2011, 10:39 pm
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Default Re: Bat Mitzvahs

Originally Posted by G.n.Tgirl View Post
50!! Very expensive indeed ... the dress, the hair, the present!!!
Oh yeah.

Some of the do's were truly amazing.
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Old May 23rd 2011, 10:41 pm
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Default Re: Bat Mitzvahs

Originally Posted by njmackem View Post
You were told you had to???

I agree with hate being told what to pay. At the moment its the obligatory 20% gratuity up front for limos and such like. I decide what gratuity I want to pay, that the whole point of it... but I digress
Laughingly on the form it said "free will contribution of 5 euro for teachers' presents".

Now if it really was 'free will' I might have put a euro or two into the kitty. Being told to put 5 into the kitty pissed me off and I put nothing - especially when I found out that an extra euro had been included in the fixed price of our meal to pay for the teachers' dinners and give them a free night out.

That's enough for me. If my kid wants to give her favourite teacher a little pressie when leaving this school - I'll give her 5 euro, BUT I'm not putting it into a collecting pot for all of them just because that's the price some parent comittee that I've never met and has never done any bloody good for the school has decided.

Rant over - and sorry Bar Mitzvah folks. Got carried away.
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Old May 23rd 2011, 10:44 pm
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Default Re: Bat Mitzvahs

Originally Posted by Lorna at Vicenza View Post
Laughingly on the form it said "free will contribution of 5 euro for teachers' presents".

Now if it really was 'free will' I might have put a euro or two into the kitty. Being told to put 5 into the kitty pissed me off and I put nothing - especially when I found out that an extra euro had been included in the fixed price of our meal to pay for the teachers' dinners and give them a free night out.

That's enough for me. If my kid wants to give her favourite teacher a little pressie when leaving this school - I'll give her 5 euro, BUT I'm not putting it into a collecting pot for all of them just because that's the price some parent comittee that I've never met and has never done any bloody good for the school has decided.

Rant over - and sorry Bar Mitzvah folks. Got carried away.
How did they get a free dinner for 1 euro? Sounds pretty good.
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Old May 23rd 2011, 10:46 pm
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Default Re: Bat Mitzvahs

Originally Posted by Sally Redux View Post
How did they get a free dinner for 1 euro? Sounds pretty good.
1 euro per about 90 sets of parents.
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