Englishmum

Thanks everyone for your ideas (more are welcome of course!)

The expectant couple are expats like us, so they have no family in the US, although her mum is coming over from Perth, Oz, next month. I also know that Corina had severe post-natal depression in Singapore after her daughter was born in 2000 and is already seeing a counsellor just in case it happens again.

I'm really, really not into playing silly games but hopefully since other couples and kids will be there (also mostly expats from Asia) I may be able to get out of doing those...

The photo voucher idea is a good one - they have a digital camera and print their own photos but they might like to go to a photoshop for extra copies. They live out in rural NJ so I have no idea about which stores do vouchers - there isn't a Walmart near them. Does anyone know if Target does?

emmals

I suffered severe post natal dep with my son for 5 years but I never had it with my second child..........how about making her a basket up with dummys bottles blankets baby bath etc plus some goodies for mum too!

britchicknyc

This thread made me smile.

I'm almost six months pregnant, and made it v. clear to the MIl I didn't want a baby shower, as the whole "I'm pregnant, look at me, and buy me presents" thing is really not me at all. Despite this MIL and SIL decided this is unacceptable and are determind to throw me one anyway.

I appreciate their good intentions, so in the end I caved, and we compromised that the word SHOWER is banned, and it will not be women only, no games and no surprises. So really it will just be a get together with friends and family.

It was just incomprehensible to them that I would not want a shower. It actually annoyed me a bit there couldn't be more consideration of my wishes. They didn't stop to think that I'm not American, and perhaps we do things differently.

That said I've been to a fair few, and if you give a shower gift, there is no obligation to give a gift when the baby is born, unless you are a close friend or family.

Wish me luck! (I can't even drink my way through it !!!)

ladylisa

I'm a little bit cynical about baby showers because I dont like the way that as many people as possible are invited even if they hardly know the person. It really feels like your only been invited so that you can buy a gift. The shower I went to the mother took over 2 hours to open everything and she was opening everything as fast as possible bacuse it was obvious it would take far more hours otherwise. It all felt a little greedy to me. The mother purposely didnt find out the sex of her child because otherwise she knew she would get tonnes more clothes than she wanted. She wanted neutral items only. The experience was okay but I did feel a little used.

Strangley me and my OH were also invited to a childs first birthday party when we dont have kids and at the time didnt know the people that well. Again it felt like we were expected to buy a gift. My OH wasnt too pleased that we were going because it was the middle of summer and we ended up spending the day stuck in a hot apartment with a bunch of kids when he wanted to be out on the golf course.

Partystar

I had my son in England, but had a baby shower as it seemed to be the thing to do, as we lived on an American base & everyone kept asking when mine was. Not having a close American friend, a threw mine myself, but it was more a BBQ then a baby shower, but I called it a baby shower just to shut everyone up!!!

The hubby's & guys all stayed outside & did the BBQing & the girls all stayed inside & chatted. We didn't play any games, as I'm not that into them & it would have seemed forced for me to do that, it's just not me! Most people bought me presents, but they didn't go overboard, so that was nice. I didn't do a registry, so people just brought what they wanted. I knew I was having a boy, so that made it easier for them!

I didn't do many decorations, just a bit of blue ribbon & some blue balloons, but nothing major. I made cup cakes that spelled out 'Baby Boy *surname*' with blue icing gel. Altogether it was a great day!

Bob

Aye, printing own pics ain't bad, but when you've better things to do, it ain't all fun, plus it's expensive, much easier to drop it off while doing the grocery shop...can't say about Target, but I know you can get Target vouchers which can be used for photo delivery...

Another nice gift idea is something for the mother, sod the kid...so something soothing, manicure/pedicure day out and a baby sitter offer for the day when the baby arrives so mother can feel fresh...just a thought....or perhaps some scented oils

ms_bhon

Speaking as the 'merican here, I can understand the point of a baby shower.
All of that new baby gear can get quite expensive, and I would think it would prove helpful to get a bit of a head start, and also be a time to get thoughtful gifts that you might end of keeping as a keepsake (hand knitted baby blankets, that kind of thing).

That being said, although I am child-free myself, a number of my late 30's-early 40's friends had 1st children a couple of years ago. I even helped plan a shower for one of my best friends with her 2 sisters (one of whom trained as a pastry chef in France). So we had a lovely cake, yummy food, nice drinks, and absolutely, postively NO GAMES!

I went to another shower that had games, and quite honestly, I didn't see the point.

They can be a bit of a chore to go to- however the ones that are more like a "ladies who lunch" kind of gathering- emphasis on being a social gathering, secondary emphasis on gift opening are the best kind of showers, IMHO.

I can also understand the superstition, however. A dear friend and co worker lost her baby at birth last summer due the umbilical cord being around the baby's neck during the birthing process. The baby died. I missed her shower as it was in Florida, but I did send something (clothes and a little bath toy). At this point, all of the baby things are in the garage put away for if/when they might be needed in the future.

If I were British myself and living here, would I want one? I don't really know... but if we had gotten married in the UK instead of here (husband is a Brit), I suppose I would have gotten used to the idea that women would have shown up to the wedding in big church-goin' hats

I suppose its up to the person- however having friends or relations who think highly enough of you to want to "shower" you with gifts to help you kit your house out for a new baby should certainly be seen as a compliment and not a slight. They mean well.

Celtic_Angel

Bob you are a gem..more great idea's ...where were you when I was having mine

TouristTrap

Agreed wholeheartedly. What bloody great ideas!

A close friend always gives new moms a voucher for their local spa, wherever that may be. Awesoem gift IMO.