Englishmum

I have been invited to go to a baby shower on Sunday. My friend - an Aussie who lived out in Singapore at the same time as us - had a lot of heartache trying for a second child and after going through a few rounds of IVF is now expecting twin girls in late March, at the age of 41.

I've never been to a baby shower before - the organiser is actually a Chinese Singaporean and she doesn't have much of a clue either...I've been asked what food I'm going to provide and have been informed that there will be 'games' (yuck).

However, there is something I'm really, really uncomfortable with. None of us Brits (or Aussies for that matter) have baby showers. I'm not particularly supersticious, but I remember when I was pregnant with my daughter (now 21) that my mother was horrified at the prospect of me bringing a carrycot, moses basket, stroller etc. in to my house before giving birth and she insisted that they were delivered to her house instead.

Of course, my mother is from a generation where it was not uncommon for women to have late miscarriages or stillborns. My mother-in-law had a stillborn baby. My best friend in England had a stillborn baby girl three weeks before my daughter was born when she was 8 months pregnant - it was awful.

I don't feel that I can turn up at a baby shower without gifts - they registered at Target for a few things, I haven't even looked at the link - but when I was in Marshalls last week I bought a couple of those Baby Bjorn harnesses so my friend and her husband could go for walks with the babies without the need for strollers. I don't know if I should produce these or wait until they're born......she's already had a scare and is now 31 weeks, the doctors are hoping to deliver at about 36 wks.

I don't know if I can ever get to enjoy the concept of baby showers, wedding showers etc. It does seem odd to have to buy a gift for the shower and another gift when the joyful event has actually taken place.

What do you think?

cas

I have attended a lot of these baby showers at work. It's the norm here so just buy something suitable and don't worry about it.

TouristTrap

I have been to showers which have been held after the birth, when there were problems during the pregnancy. I've never had a problem going to a shower, as us S.Africans held baby/wedding showers before the event.

Food. Well, easiest is to get some of those deli trays from your local grocery deli, or Sams, etc. carry some good ones. Chicken with a dip, fruit platter with strawberry dip, veggies and ranch or onion dip..etc..

Meatballs in sauce, kept heated in a crockpot, is also a big hit usually at these things.

You could have nachos. Melt in a crock again, and serve with tortilla chips.

I am still amazed at the gifts that these girls get at their showers. They usually leave there wanting for absolutely nothing.

They are pretty classy affairs, and everyone normally dresses up. Tables are usually decorated with 'baby' themed things - Party City will have bunches of that. Candles, greenery as centerpieces etc.

As to games, I detest them, but it is usually things like printing out a list of items us gals carry in our purses and whoever has the most gets a small 'prize' - candles or something along those lines.

The ones I've gone to have been good friends, and I've enjoyed them thoroughly

I hope you do too

I found this for you :

http://www.partygameideas.com/babyshowergames.htm

robskatie

I was informed (not asked) by my American friend last week that she will be holding a baby shower for me She told me all I have to do is register with Target or Babysrus and she will do the rest, this has made me very uncomfortable to say the least, I do not expect any of my friends to buy my baby things for me, as you say EnglishMum, we usually do any little gifts after the birth.
While I appreciate the thought, I am not entirely looking foreward to it

Jaxbar

Just be careful if they play the diaper game, the one where you have to guess what type of candy bar has been melted into the diaper by sniffing it(oh yes). not always chocolate!!

robskatie

WHAT?? :scared:

Jaxbar

Seriously they melt stuff like lion bars or other choc bars in microwave in a diaper and you have to guess what it is
was kidding about the last bit but you never know specially if some from round here were involved

Bob

Good things to get are a bunch of nappies...and also a few disposable cameras with vouchers to get them processed as the cost soon adds up...

As for games...breaking the water can be fun apparantly, have a plastic character frozen into ice cubes, and person who has the character come free in the drink gets a gift.

robskatie

I'm thinking maybe I should suggest a pedicure and lunch for everyone instead

Celtic_Angel

what a fab idea...and from you Bob....Are you broody?

I'd say to the op just go for it ...buy something nice grab a tray and just go and enjoy yourself...I've never been to a baby shower as the only time I was invited to several was after my miscarriage ...yeah ..like I'm going to go..whatever ...anyway..I think if the worst were to happen...the last thing on mom's mind would be having to return/get rid of gifts..but if all goes well and it most likely will..then mom will absolutely love what you've bought...especially if it's something other than clothes and more useful...vouchers to develop film sounds fab...I didn't know you could do that...and as a mom who just recently developed 4 years worth of film....I know that vouchers definitely would have come in handy...maybe even a scrapbook or cute album /frame to keep those cherished photo's in

just enjoy yourself(take some wine if you have to ) and if they do play the diaper game just hope it was a mars bar they put in there

NC Penguin

You're living in the US now so when in Rome, do as the Romans do.

I attended my first and to date, only US baby shower and the mother was Phillipinno (she's a naturalized American now) and the father was American.

I felt kind of odd going to a baby shower 'cos I'd never been to one and didn't know the customs. I can't even remember if the parents were registered with a store (I think they probably were) but I bought the baby something that I chose myself.

There were a lot of people at the baby shower, both men and women and kids too. There were no games played but all the guests just chatted and ate and it took a couple of hours for all the gifts to be opened ('cos so many people had been invited and shown up).

By the end of the baby shower, I'd say the baby (boy) had enough clothes to last him till he was at least one.


NC Penguin

Bob

me? bugger noooo....but I know how expensive getting film developed is...and around here, the local kodak place does vouchers and I'm sure Walmart does them, well general ones, but you can pick out a theme and all that...and scrap book/albums to put them in is also a great idea.

CaliforniaBride

A had a Wedding Shower held for me. I was mortified at the idea of all these people who had hardly or never met me being forced to buy a present for me. But after the event I realised it was just a way of paying admission to see the exhibit!

commoner

I had my daughter in the UK, so I never experienced a wedding shower or baby shower. To be honest I hated going to showers when I lived in the US, so I have only been to a few.

Originally (where I'm from) baby showers were held for new mothers only. Unless she's a sister or a best mate, I personally don't believe in attending someone's shower for a second child. Unless the expectant couple had a housefire and lost many possessions, a second baby shower is taking the piss.

I'm amazed to see what you all have written about modern showers. The showers I have attended in the past have been no kids, husbands or animals. The wedding showers took place to give nice/risque gifts to the bride she would be too embarrassed to receive after the wedding (lingere/massage oil/wedding night goodies). A group of women attending a baby shower gave modest baby gifts and mostly talked to the new mother and answered any questions she may have had.

The main god awful food I remember at one shower was little white bread sandwiches with strawberry cream cheese between the slices of bread. As a kid my Mom and I went to a shower and I ate one of these sarnies, only to be told by my Mom the sarnies were only decorative because the pregnant woman was having a girl. Ugh.

I don't understand the concept of asking people you barely know to such events either. That just sounds like people scrounging for gifts.

OH MAN I SOUND LIKE A CROTCHETY OLD WOMAN, and I'm only 29.

I'm going now!

Laura

emmals

my mum threw me a baby shower when we visited them in the US when I was pregnant with my daughter it was lovely the games were fun and the gifts I recieved were amazing........if she has already had a scare I think the shower will cheer her up to see everyone feeling so positive about the birth