BrookNTwon

Hi all

Just looking for advice on a dilemma that I had.....

I am a UKC married to a USC (for the last 3 1/2 years) living in Scotland....

We both work fulltime in pretty decent jobs and are planning on moving to the States soon-ish, but are trying to decide when the best time would be (We would be filing DCF)..... Let me explain.....

We are planning on starting a family soon (within the next 2 years) but are trying to decide whether to move over to the States before trying to get pregnant or have a baby here and then emigrating.... It seems that both have their advantages because if we have a baby here, my wife (who currently works full time) can get maternity pay for the first 9-12 months which continues even if emigrating. This would give us a (small) income while we look for jobs etc. in the States (we would be staying with the wife's parents while we look for houses etc.)

The down side of this (I think), is that I think it's a bit irresponsible to have a baby and then go and move in with the inlaws (even temporarily) in another country without jobs etc. I've had job offers from people we know over there so I'm sure I can get a job no problem, but I still am a bit concerned about this.

The other option is to move before we have a baby and try and get established before trying for a little one.... This then throws up issues with medical maternity insurance and the cost of having a baby in the U.S. as opposed to on the NHS.... Is it really as expensive as I have heard??

Anyway, looking for any of your thoughts on this...

Cheers

Anthony

Rete

Since this is not an immigration issue, I'm moving this to the USA forum. Lots and lots of Brits with this type of experience in that forum.

Dan725

Very hard to says whats best - all depends on your priorities I think, i.e. baby vs the relocation.

IMHO, having a new first baby is THE busiest and most massively changing time of your life - nothing else is remotely close. The last thing you'll really want to be thinking about is moving during that period, if you help it.

So I reckon, either move now, get settled and then think about it; or, start your family now and delay the plans - just my opinion.

Re costs, it will largely depend on what kind of medical insurance you end up with. We have excellent health cover here so the costs for our maternity care were negligable. If you don't have decent cover, it will cost you.

penguinsix

Hi

Insurance varies greatly. My son was born for a $25 copay to the OB/GYN (in week 6 of the pregnancy) and a $25 to the hospital (on the day of delivery). That was it. There was another poster who had thousands of dollars in bills because of specialists. It really all depends on what insurance you use.

As for maternity leave, hands down the UK wins out, unless you are working in a six-figure job here in the US that has a great benefits package (i.e. six months paid then six months unpaid, which is not uncommon in some small but wealthly places like law firms, assuming they are a lawyer).

But one other thing I'd ask you to consider is the comfort of the mother--is she comfortable being with NHS? Would she feel better in a US hospital with US doctors, or would she like to be at home where her mother can help her recover and feed the baby every now and then? There are some very important issues that should be considered (I'll let some of the other women tell you about the post-birth recovery and whether 'grandma' in the house was a good or bad thing). She might feel very alone if she is without her family in the UK having to deal with all the things a new mother has to deal with.

Anyway, good luck.

BrookNTwon

Hi guys

Thanks for your replies

I had to laugh at your last comments penguinsix lol.... When my wife moved here she swore up and down that she would never ever enter an NHS hospital but now SHE is the one that thinks it's a better idea to have a baby here (she's probably more settled here than I am lol). If I'd told her that she would feel like that a couple of years ago she would never have believed me lol...

Anyway, appreciate all of your comments thus far...

naomi

Definitely depends on the the type of insurance your new employer offers--and it can vary greatly. I have pretty good insurance through my work, so didn't pay much out of pocket when I had my baby 3 years ago, probably just the co-pay ($100). I also had a pretty okay experience in the hospital, good nurses, docs etc. Of course as you know maternity leave laws suck over here though, so if I had the choice I'd probably have the baby in England so I could have more paid time off :-)


Naomi.

Ozzidoc

Are you 100% sure on this? ie, you have it in writing? I used to be a HR manager, and the company I worked for only paid benefits like this if the person was in Europe....obviously difficult to "police".

Elvira

AFAIK all benefits and specific tax breaks stop once someone is no longer resident in the UK.

fatbrit

Assuming there are no citizenship issues (i.e. you can both pass on your respective citizenships wherever the sprog pops out), the main item except those of a purely personal nature are financial ones. If you are assured of good health insurance, then you cannot rule out the US. But who is assured of anything here today?

Also, job offers are not jobs. If you gave me 10 minutes, I could probably secure half a dozen from my telephone right here and now. But I'd be extremely lucky if even one actually panned out within the next few months. Human resource departments work at about the same pace as government bureaucracy in the US, and it ain't over till you're sitting at the desk and filling out the I-9.

One thing to bear in mind is that the visa procedure takes about 6 months to complete and you then have another 6 months in which to activate it. Wherever you are, you need some measure of stability before dropping brats.

kins

Statutory Maternity Pay is paid by the government to the company who then pay it on to the employee. I'm not sure if the government would continue the subsidy to someone who'd moved abroad?

Maternity Allowance is I think paid directly from the government to the mother and I can't see how that would continue?

Also check how much she would actually get. I think the basic is something like 90% of salary for 6 weeks, then £105 a week up to nine months, then nothing from then on? Some companies will top this up but only if you then return to work, otherwise they demand the money back (and you have to repay the NI before you can claim it back too).

Personally I'd rather give birth in a country where it's legal to give birth at home - which rules out parts of the US but not all of it. Also if I gave birth in the US I'd be worried about overmanagement of the birth leading to C-sections.

Also when you have a new baby it is good to have your support network in place.

Remember you can't actually plan all of this. What if you decide to stay in the UK until you've had the baby, then you find that it takes two years to conceive?

I think there are so many uncontrollable factors... I'd just make the plans to either emigrate or not, then go for it and see whether a baby comes along or not.

JAJ

Whichever you decide, your USC wife would be strongly recommended to become a naturalised British citizen before she leaves the U.K.

Ozzidoc

Excellent points raised. One thing...home births...very, very rare in UK for FIRST birth, as they are not recommended because the pelvis is "untried". Not saying that you cant do it, but....

BrookNTwon

Thanks guys

Definite food for thought....

In answer to Elvira's comment, I found this website:
http://www.dwp.gov.uk/lifeevent/bene...ernity_pay.asp
which suggests that even if you move abroad statutaory maternity pay continues:

"I go to live abroad or visit?
If you are already getting SMP and go abroad, your employer will still pay you SMP."

I'm not sure how this is affected if my wife wasn't a citizen tho.

Thanks everyone

JAJ

Is there a reason why she doesn't become a British citizen? Processing times are quick currently (ie a few months).