Aus-UK, to move again or not?
 

Hi everyone! I've got no idea where to start on this forum so I thought I'd just explain my general situation. I would appreciate any thoughts or advice from anyone who may have experienced something similar.

Here goes:

I was born in manchester, UK,
Moved to Australia 1989
Was EXTREMELY HOMESICK SO
moved back to UK 1993
Had a few problems so reluctantly
moved back to Australia 1995
Have enjoyed overall and achieved and learnt a lot
But now feel very unsettled again and am unsure what to do long term!!!


Now I'll explain the reasons:
I originally moved to Aus because my dad got a job here and so I moved with him, my mum and siblings.

I HATED IT, because the people I love (Cousins, aunt, uncle, grandparents) are all in the UK.
Also I love UK culture (or most aspects of it) and am proudly British. I like the food, pubs, accents etc, and particularly love going to the places I was brought up.

I moved back, but made the big mistake of expecting things to be exactly as they had prior to moving to Aus, or even a bit better. They unfortunately were not. I felt like all the relatives I mentioned above were rejecting me and didn't want anything to do with me. I also felt that my UK friends whom I tried to re-connect with were doing the same.

Looking back I realise neither of these things was really the case, or at least not as much as I thought. It was more the way I percieved things, and the fact that, being 18years old, I really needed much more support than I was getting.

So out of sheer desperation I moved back to Aus, not really expecting anything at all. I just decided to put all the problems to one side for the time being.

I was able to achieve a lot and finish university, and get started in a good career.

I now have a job I really like, and in most respects I like the Australian way of life. I no longer see it through the "black tinted glasses" like I did the first time, and I no longer see England through the rose tinted glasses I did! I believe I now have a realistic understanding of both countries, advantages and disadvantages which both have.

Since coming back to Aus in 1995 I have been visiting the UK every 12-18 months. Over that time I have found my relationships in the UK have gradually improved and, whilst still not as good as I would like, are now pretty good.

I now have a very difficult decision to make, because I'm not sure I can continue going back to UK every 12-18months, especially once I get married / have kids, which I would like to do quite soon (although no serious girlfriend at present)

I also know that the UK is very expensive to live in in many respects, but then again you tend to be better paid.

By the way there is nobody in Aus who I would miss

I suppose my options are:
1. Stay in Aus and keep visiting UK every 1-2 years (very expensive to do, and could be difficult as I said earlier)
2. Go back to UK and visit Aus every 5yrs or so if I want to
3. Stay in Aus and settle for not going back to UK so often, maybe only once every 5-6yrs. But I am pretty certain I would get desperately homesick and miss my family in UK like mad.

OK that's enough from me for now!. Usually I make decisions quickly and easily but this is proving very hard! Anyone got any advice?

Re: Aus-UK, to move again or not?
 

You've left out one pretty critical piece of information - have you taken Australian citizenship or not?

Jeremy

sorry, yes I have dual nationality, british and aust!

Re: Aus-UK, to move again or not?
 

Both Oz and UK have their pros and cons. It seems to me that you haven't made up your mind as to which 'pros' you want and which 'cons' you're willing to put up with. You're still relatively young, and - say - if you believe Oz is the place for you now, it might not be (neither might UK) in 5 years time. The only advice I would give is try to stay focussed on one of them, especially if you're thinking of having children! :) On balance, given the way you've worded your post, it seems that you prefer the UK.

I know it's been said before, but nobody can realistically tell you where you should be - only you can decide.

Hello Boddington...

all I am going to say is OMG I thought I had dilema's..LOL..and hello of course.

You know I think you have a very hard decision to make ( yeah like you never knew that !!)Looking at what you have written it seems to me like you are more pulled to the UK. I think you are lucky as you will always be able to travel back to OZ for hols etc which I think is alot cheaper than doing it from OZ to UK. You also said you would miss no-one in OZ but can't stand the thought of not seeing your rellies and friends in the Uk if you did stay here.

Your a ping pong pom huh !!!sorry expression I heard on here one day.

How easy would it be for you to find work in the UK?and how about settling up home there??

Cheers

Pants:) :)

Thanks pants and mikestanton. You both seem to agree that I'm leaning more towards UK. I think you're right, not sure though.

The only way I can put it for sure is that, if I HAD TO make a decision RIGHT NOW, to either stay here or go back to UK, I would definately choose UK. No doubt about that.

However that's not the case and I don't want to rush into anything I may regret.

Keep the advice coming guys!

The decision is yours of course and nothing like this has a guarantee attached to it saying yes it will all work out...

sorry that's the best I can do...but hang around here there will be plenty more peeps to give advice. Good Luck....!!do what makes you the happiest...!!!:)

Boddington

What about relocating to a different part of Oz?

Places like Sydney/Mel are very different then Adelaide. What about starting a fresh again there? Chance to meet more peps/potential partner?

Moving back to UK is huge step, I know cause Im doing the opposite. However I moved back to UK 50/50 wanting to. Loved my life in Oz but family are all in UK, missed them alot. However they all have their own lives & its time to do myself.

List down the most important things you want to achieve in the next 5 years, then do 10 years then 20. See what comes relevant. If its family/career/UK Lifestyle then UK is answer.
If its quality of living/weather/slightly cheaper standard of living then its Oz.

Having spent last 14 months in UK & seeing standard of living dropping whilst costs go through the roof mine has changed.

Re: Aus-UK, to move again or not?
 

Boddington

What about relocating to a different part of Oz?

Places
like Sydney/Mel are very different then Adelaide. What about starting a
fresh again there? Chance to meet more peps/potential partner?

Moving
back to UK is huge step, I know cause Im doing the opposite. However I
moved back to UK 50/50 wanting to. Loved my life in Oz but family are
all in UK, missed them alot. However they all have their own lives &
its time to do myself.

List down the most important things you want to
achieve in the next 5 years, then do 10 years then 20. See what comes
relevant. If its family/career/UK Lifestyle then UK is answer.
If its
quality of living/weather/slightly cheaper standard of living then its
Oz.

Having spent last 14 months in UK & seeing standard of living
dropping whilst costs go through the roof mine has changed.


--
Posted via http://britishexpats.com

Hi Boddington:) Given that you are young and have no wife or kids what's stopping you moving to the U.K. to see if you like being here full time? You have dual nationality so could go back to Australia if you find U.K. living is not for you. Which part of the U.K. are you considering?

Erm, you can have a great quality of life in the UK. I do!

I don't find cost of living any dearer in the UK either - between UK and Oz, it all balances out...taxes, travel, houses, commodities......

Boddington, take a leap and go to UK. With dual citizenship, the world's your oyster really. You could have a great time living in the UK...earn good money, save a bit, cheaper to travel to Oz on UK wages than other way round. While you are young, you can travel, see Europe, etc. You like your job, but there are good jobs to be found in other places. Unless you're hoping to work your way up to director in 15 years time, are you likely to stay in that job anyway?

You'll have no probs finding an English bride.... English chicks love Aussie guys (ask Pants :D )

p.s. I understand where you are coming from...I love so much about Uk and so much about Oz it's proving very difficult to decide where we want to be...the thing that stands out is that neither country stands out...they're both beautiful and hideously awful!! We've decided to stick with UK for 18 months and then review.
Good luck, keep us posted

Why limit yourself to only those two options? You are young and have no ties - go round the world for a year. I did it for three years and it really opened my eyes to the other cultures and countries that are out there. I ended up meeting a girl from the States (while I was in Asia) I have lived in the States for the past eight years and I love it here. :)

Whatever decision you make, it does not have to be for the rest of your life - there is so much out there, go find it! :) But most of all, have fun while you are doing it :D

His options could include:

- using his Australian passport to live in New Zealand;

- using his UK passport to live anywhere in the EU/EEA;

- using his Australian passport to go on a working holiday in Canada or one of the other countries open to young Aussies.

Jeremy

Re: Aus-UK, to move again or not?
 

Although if he does decide to have children in the UK, they can be registered as Australian citizens by descent.

Jeremy

You have got to stop trying to live in two countries and decide
which country is the best one for you. Constantly moving from the
uk to OZ and back again won't only send you bankrupt but prevent you from settling down in either country. Once you have chosen a country cut yourself off from the other one, don't go back there for 5 or 10 years.