britmummy

Hi

Hope someone on here can help. I am on a H4 visa, my husband on H1B, we have two young children and I am a stay at home Mum.

My husband's behavior has become very hard to live with, he has no interest in me, insults my family and chose to spend his holiday away from us (we were in the UK, he argued with my family whilst drunk and then went to spain for 6 days and told our oldest he had to work).

I returned to the US as lawyers I spoke to in the UK said that nothing could be done from there and I was worried that my husband would try and say I was abducting the children if I stayed longer. Since returning he will not let me have any cash and has forebid me from going grocery shopping without him...whilst he spent god knows what on a bike a few days ago. As I am on a H4 I cannot work here and am completely dependent on him.

I would like to start divorce proceedings, I am in the Dallas/Fort Worth area and looking for some advice, lawyer recommendations or anyone that has been through this and has been allowed to return to the UK or Spain (where we were living before coming here and where we have a flat) with the children.

Thanks for taking the time to read and any suggestions would be helpful.

civilservant

Presumably your intention is to return to the UK, since you will have no right to remain in the US?

Have you consulted a divorce attorney in the US?

civilservant

Presumably your intention is to return to the UK, since you will have no right to remain in the US?

Have you consulted a divorce attorney in the US?

britmummy

Yes, plan would be to return to the UK (or Spain where I still have a job as on unpaid leave and a flat though its being rented out). I have no right to live here if we divorce so this would be my only option, just worried about the children and how likely the court will let me move them back to Europe?? My husband is South American but we lived together in the UK and Spain before coming here.

Was wondering if anyone could recommend a attorney that specializes in International Family Law or do you think a regular Family Law attorney would be ok?

I know once I start this my life will get very difficult as my husband has not been easy till now but once he thinks I might try and take the children back to Europe (even though he promised I could before we moved) I know he will do anything to make my life harder.

Weeze

Thought I should link to this:

http://britishexpats.com/wiki/Domestic_violence

Englishmum

So sorry to hear of your problems.

A good resource is the UK charity "Reunite" which gives advice regarding international child custody disputes. They have a list of attorneys worldwide who specialise in such cases, and there is also a free helpline phone number on their website. Do remember to clear your cookies/history on your computer in case your spouse is checking up on you

Http://www.reunite.org

I wish you well and send you some (((hugs)))

RICH

Yes I went through a divorce here (USA), but not in your circumstances.

Some questions come to mind which may or may not make a difference, I do not know.

Are you a UK citizen? Where were the children born/what is their citizenship? Where were you married?

Pulaski

Where you are married is irrelevant. You can only divorce where you are normally resident, which is why she was referred back to the US by an attorney in the UK. This is also true within the US, because divorce is handled at a state level, and is causes problems for married gay couples living in states that do not allow them to marry: the courts in (at least some of) those states have refused to divorce couples who would not be allowed to marry there.

For the purposes of a divorce in the US, whether she is a British citizen or not is also irrelevant.

penguinsix

Divorce usually has a residency requirement, as just stated.

More importantly is the issue of the kids "habitual residence", which is a loose term that defies a strict test. Where your kids are found to have "habitual residence" is where the decisions over their custody will be handled. So if the kids were born in say Spain, you had a house there, you came to the US fully intending to return to Spain soon, the argument could be made that their 'habitual residence' was in Spain. In the converse, if you left Spain (or the UK) to 'start a new life' in the USA and had every intention of remaining here indefinitely, the habitual residence could be found to be in the USA.

As noted by your attorneys, removing the child from one country to another without permission would be considered abduction.

Have you had a discussion about the kid's custody? This would probably be the biggest issue to discuss with the lawyers, and the charity reunite for example.

Woods.usa

I wish I had some good advice for you, but I don't know a lot about the legal aspect of these things. I feel for you... My husband and I almost divorced a few years ago, but we managed to stay together somehow...

I think that if you were able to show irresponsibility as a parent on his part, courts are likely to give you sole custody. Try to find a reputable lawyer here in the US who specializes in family law but also knows immigration law. There are some...you just have to keep calling them, which I know isn't easy when you are emotional.

It sounds like your husband could have some major alcoholism issues....

Hang in there...you and your kids deserve better.

Scouse Express

Put the Passports of yourself, and your kids, somewhere safe.....in case you need to use them.


Jim.

Poppy girl

I divorced my husband in the US he was violent and abusive, he never hit me but had me up against the wall a couple of times with his hand around my neck and threatning to to smash my face in, he trashed the house, threw a computer out of the conservatory window, and thats only the start of things.....I left him and got a job and filed divorce, had a few info passes with Immigration and was guided on what to do, there were no children involved.......get out while you can, also try Catholic charites in the area they will help you for no fee and no you do not have to be a Catholic

Good Luck

Chaues

+1 to this.