Re: Are Americans really an different to us?
 

Surely surly for some it comes down to a choice to remain in a foreign country.
To make the best of it all, purely for the sake of something you have deemed more important to you than easing your own discomfort.
Small words - big shadows.

Some choose every day to pick the best of English and the America which is admired and know that the result is being neither and yet both. Its a bittersweet present tied to an unsure past and an undefined future.

But you do it anyway.
Because at the root, you know damn well that it is the correct decision for you.

Re: Are Americans really an different to us?
 

Hey now, isn't this all getting a little tooooo personal? It's just like generalizing about any large group of people: you can't (ie you shouldn't). Expats are here for a number of reasons.

I don't think it's necessarily 'greed' when one makes a choice for preferring one thing over another. To be fair, Rete, you've made the choice to stay in your home for financial reasons. AND you like it there.

Some people may find that a 2 bed flat and caravan holidays are very desirable, compared to what they came from.

I have a semantic complaint against 'choosing to be forced' or whatever. You make your choices and they'll have good and bad consequences attached, in varying degrees. I think they're commonly called 'trade offs'. I've been thinking a lot lately about my own trade offs; not happy about all of the outcomes from them, but at some point you just have to say: I chose this.

Sometimes when times are hard, you have to choose fresh every day to remind yourself.

Re: Are Americans really an different to us?
 

I just wanted to add, I picked Skegness in a caravan, as when I was a kid that was my holiday destination. I seem to remember enjoying eating toasted teacakes and playing cards while it piddled it down outside. I just meant I wouldn't choose to go back to it.

Re: Are Americans really an different to us?
 

It is the use of the word forced. No one forced Nicky to stay in the US against their wishes. They choose to do so, freely because of getting what they felt was not an adequate lifestyle in the UK. They could live a more improvished lifestyle in the US but chose instead to live a more lavish lifestyle in the US.

I went on camping holidays with tents and pop-ups. We don't have caravans here in the US that I know of. And yes, I enjoyed it and would love to do it again.

The generalization came into play because of the terminology used. No other, be it because of love or money, is forced. It is a choice to emigrate to another country. It was and is a choice freely made. Just because you love someone does not mean you have to give up being happy to live in a country where you will be apart from your friends and relatives unless that is your choice.

If your DH hated living here and wanted desperately to leave and go elsewhere and you didn't, does that mean he has to remain where he is so unhappy? Or would you either choose to go with him or set him free. Isn't that what one member of this forum did past year. Left her husband and went back to the UK with their children because she was so unhappy here. If I remember correctly the majority was in agreement with her choice.

Re: Are Americans really an different to us?
 

What he said :)

Re: Are Americans really an different to us?
 

I will fall back on language differences this time.

Caravan = popup trailer type set up. Same same.

Therefore, who knows, maybe we are mishearing 'forced' and it pushes our buttons.

I remember when getting to know DH and he was talking about an investment 'scheme'. Well 'scheme' has a shady connotation to me, and I thought he was talking about some no-good plan because he used the word 'scheme' (this was over several contexts & finally I just had to ask him if he was a criminal or not).

Otherwise, 'forced' + 'choose' could = 'passive agressive' to me. :)
Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Re: Are Americans really an different to us?
 

But, if we went back to the UK my husband would be FORCED into taking a low paid job. We would be FORCED into selling our home as we wouldn't be able to pay the mortgage. We would be FORCED into taking a big loss on said house and be close or into negative equity due to house prices falling, and then where would we be?

So yes I choose to live a comfortable lifestyle.

This is the same choice that if you gave anyone the choice to make they would choose to live comfortably. I agree that to someone in poverty the choice of having a vacation every year and good education for their children would seem like greed.

If you gave them a choice of staying where they were, with no home and no running water, or moving their family 5,000 miles away to somewhere with a roof over their heads and schooling, which would they choose? Comfort levels all depend on where you have come from.

I feel very lucky that I can make these choices, we are probably talking about the 2 most priviledged countries in the world so having the option to live in either is a huge luxury that maybe we all should appreciate more.

Why don't you go on a camping holiday again Rete if you would love to?

Re: Are Americans really an different to us?
 

I guess when neither spouse is happy in the other's country, one of them chooses to be the unhappy one. Not a good basis for a marriage.

Re: Are Americans really an different to us?
 

There are people on here who had a choice of living in the US or divorce (or maybe a family split between to continents). Not 'forced' but not willingly and we all know what was meant.

It's a trade off in the end, you take the rough with the smooth, but that doesn't mean we all have to write posts like we're on some anti-depressant while wearing rose-tinted specs.

Re: Are Americans really an different to us?
 

It's not necessarily that; perhaps the mum knows it's what's best in the long run, doesn't mean she's happy not being able to work on a spouse visa.

Re: Are Americans really an different to us?
 

Rose tinted specs make no distinction as to country though.

Re: Are Americans really an different to us?
 

This is true but as they say us Brits are good at using our stiff upper lip, but there are times we need to moan is that really to much to ask.

Re: Are Americans really an different to us?
 

I feel for anyone who is unhappy in this situation. Personally, I am not, I could be happier in the UK (or I might not be, who knows). However, I think its a bloody great basis for a marriage.

2 people who love each other so much they are unwilling to be apart so make the most of things to be with that person. Thats a stronger marriage than saying sod you i'm off.

Re: Are Americans really an different to us?
 

Soz Limey, replied to the wrong person's post there. I'm getting carried away

Re: Are Americans really an different to us?
 

19 pages of responses to a blatant troll thread.

/just added to the thread...