Rockgurl

You really made a good point here.....I totally understand that. I've been really shocked and got in trouble a couple of times because I assumed my co-workers were on my side. I've learned to be distrustful and suspicious which just doesn't come naturally. I really miss English workmates that you could have a laugh and a gossip with.

Rompers

Don't be a nana, you're talking crap.

Elvira

Thanks, Amy - I thought your list was very interesting. And I think your point 5 should not be underestimated. I am not a regular pub-goer, but I do miss hanging out with friends down the pub. My girlfriends and I used to meet up about once a month for lunch at a pub. Some were close friends, some just acquaintances, but we always had such a wonderful time, talking about god and the world...

Drinking at lunchtime, though!!! That's just not done here, is it...

In fact, I have never, ever been to a bar in the US (except in hotels). They are such forbidding places, with the bars on the windows and the signs that warn anyone under 21 to stay away. In the UK we took the kids to the pub from a very early age, for Sunday lunch or to watch footie - in fact I recall (discretely) breastfeeding # 1 son in a corner...

Ray

Of course there is the other side ...according to some US friend ... is that the english accent makes them believe we are sophisicated and more intelligent than them ..so they are wary of us ...and are nervous of getting too close ...

Elvira

Piss off!!!

snowbunny

Well I had a bit of a whinge .... I supposed my good "standard of living" ought to buy me friends but as everyone knows good friends can't be bought.

Time to have pleasant shared experiences is key. Being able to be honest and let down your guard, and laugh at yourself a little.... or a lot!

lolly

Totally agree, I have been told that people feel intimidated by our accent.

Rushman

yeah because I am always being told I am sopis.....sohis.......stophis........more intelligent.

Ray

Well of course that does not apply to you and I ....

dan_alford

I have to agree with the pubs. Its even worse here in the south. Before we were married, my soon to be wife came and visited England and was in a state of shock when I told her we were meeting some friends in a pub. She was a good southern bible belt girl and the look couldn't have been more different than if I had told her we were going to meet some satanists. When she got there she had "culture shock" at what a pub is supposed to be like in a small town/village, which is the center of the community.

Oh and I once went for a drink during work hours with my old boss ( who was German) when entertaining clients.

LeedsGirl

I have a handful of American friends that I can call true friends and then there are the friends I've grown up with back home who are life long friends. Then there are the people I met through BE, Bored Silly and Wintersong came into my life at the right time and I am so grateful to have them. Bored Silly lives 10 minutes away and Wintersong 30 minutes, love em both. There are no airs and graces with the two of them!! Also love Woodsey and Eskimo but don't see the two of them nearly as often as we should!

Kate2112

The social drinking thing is weird here Only one of my friends drinks anything more than a glass of wine. EVERYONE else I have known acquaintances and friends have never had a drink! Whether at work do's, Group workmate outings, Client dinners, bar b q's or just out with the girls ..they drink iced tea, iced water, (yeah nice to rinse your mouth with or on a very hot day in the car..BUT at dinner "I'll just have water please" ???????????...this I will never get!!!!) bottomless sodas.. I guess it might have been just DC, I'm hoping Seattle might be where the relaxed drinkers are, and no not bloody coffee Shared a bottle of wine with a friend on Saturday night and husband thinks I'm a dipso...ah well

Sally

Luckily I met an English friend because otherwise I would feel paranoid - many women I have met here think nothing of letting you down on arrangements, and are fixated on looks and house. I sometimes feel they want their kids to be friends with my daughter because she does well at school. I found out one Mum had asked the teacher for her daughter to be in the same class as mine next year, which I found a bit sneaky, as my daughter is not that keen on her - she is a spoilt little brat who says things to other kids like "You're poor". This woman has several times effusively arranged something with me and then just not done any more - but it seems to be par for the course. "Normal" people are like gold dust - the old lady living opposite me is very genuine and down-to-earth and also a mum at the school who is married to a Mexican chap and seems somehow to therefore have a wider world view.

Elvira

OMG you are opening a hole new can of worms!!

Entertaining clients - or being entertained (NOT) by them - is just soooooooooo different here from Europe!

I used to visit clients in Germany regularly. The companies there would have a special dining room for lunching with business associates - 3-course meals served by waiters/waitresses (in full black-tie regalia), on tables with starched linen table-cloths and fresh flowers.

In Italy, they'd take us to a nice trattoria. In most other countries, it would be lunch at fairly sophisticated restaurant. And of course wine would be served...

Whereas in the UK, more often than not we'd just go down the pub - very casual.

Ah, those were the days...

Now, here in the US, I am considered just a "vendor" FFS!! I am lucky to even get a cup of coffee. Last month, I was working with a US company. There were about a dozen of them. At some point, one of them started taking orders for lunchtime sandwiches. Can you believe it: if I had not spoken up, I would have gone hungry!!!

dan_alford

Here it is very similar to the friendship aspect already mentioned. The company will look at what you can do for them. If they need you or your product, expect the red carpet. If they don't need you, expect styrofoam cups and sandwiches.