geordiegirl2

PMSL

Angry White Pyjamas

The difference for us has been:

Brit (and Aus/NZ/SA) friends we've made here a the "no ties" type...i.e call round have a beer, gossip maybe a BBQ and just chat without expecting anything more.

US friends (Acquaintances?) we've made always seem like there has to be a reason for getting together. Whenever one comes round I spend the first few minutes waiting of them to get to the real reason for the visit...and i'm never dissappointed, theres always an ulterior motive.

AmerLisa

Jesus H. Christ you guys! Always an ulterior motive? No good mates? No meaniful conversations? Honestly!

Look, these people (Americans) are different. Full stop, they aren't going to understand, be aware of all of the things Brits know/like/do/whatever. Unless they've lived there (tourists don't count - duh!) Surely some/a few/the lot of you can or have found someone that you can associate with. Partystar, I don't think you'll need those big knockers, I'd bet you could find someone with your very own wit.

Ok, flame away.....

Angry White Pyjamas

Hi..blah blah blah blah....er can I borrow/Can you do xyz/Would you mind if? etc etc etc. Ok thanks Bye.


Not "Hi I just dropped in to say hello..cuppa? cheers. thanks, hows your mum?"...etc

Different for sure.

gruffbrown

Honestly.....NO!

Jerseygirl

You sound like the Geico commercial. LOL.

Rushman

How do you know what he sounds like...he typed that.

Jerseygirl

Why aren't you asleep....its 3.00 am?

TouristTrap

True. Another thing that bugs me about most people is that they seem to be on 'ceremony' all the time - they just don't know how to let their hair down.

VERY few have a real sense of humor......

Rushman

Because I just got back from taking a crate to the shippers at heathrow.....My best mate's brother works nights there so a very cheaply freighted (hopefully) crate is now winging its way to my house upstate with loads of my little friends in it.

Also have a chance of tickets (inc all,access passes) for Friday (Roger Waters of Pink Floyd) and Saturday ( OnlyThe Who...that's all) in Hyde park....for the princely sum of £80 BUT!! its only the chance of the tickets..I'm a bit of a late comer. I refused the tickets first time round because I didn't think I was going to be here but now I have to wait to see if one person out of 15 people actually drops out......Please God!!!!!

Lizzi

I dunno what it is, but people here just aren't interested in other people. They want to talk about themselves. Conversations I have here with my closest acquaintances (can't call them friends) are all soundbites about 'me me me'.

Rockgurl

God, this is so close to my heart right now. I've been thinking about this a lot lately and recently I've been absolutely shat on by a few people I thought were friends. I've quickly come to the conclusion that I can never really trust anyone again here. No one I've met really understands what being friends is, and it really is me, me, me and what can you do for me. As soon as you show a bit of character or individualism that doesn't fit in with their plan then they absolutely drop you like a hot brick, talk about you behind your back and generally stab you in the back. It's actually made me quite miserable because there was something wrong with me, but now I've realized that's just the way the culture is here.

Back home in England I have many good friends that I enjoy a collective dinner with whenever I go home. I've known most of these people for more than 20 years and I class them as family. I may not see them, sometimes for years at a time, but when we meet up it's a total genuine best friend thing and I trust them all implicitly. I have totally lost my trust for people over here in the US since the bad experiences I've had and I haven't met a single person other than my partner, in the last 3 years, that I can call a friend. Not one. That's scary. This is both at work and in my social life. A couple of times it's nearly made me want to get on the next plane back. I just don't understand. There's no honesty or genuine friendship here. It's all about "networking". It's ugly and I hate it.

RoadWarriorFromLP

I grew up here and I have a good number of real friends (as opposed to acquaintances), but even I find myself agreeing with aspects of this.

Since everyone appreciates a half-cocked theory that resolves neatly within a half-hour episode, I'll offer one of my own: We are raised to be friendly, nice and upbeat with everyone, which is fine except that it can sometimes make it difficult to know who you can really trust, since many of the indicators of a poor relationship are often concealed by design.

You can call it shallow if you like. I'd refer to it as more of an institutionalized form of passive-aggressiveness, where the sniping ends up surfacing in the form of gossip and backbiting, invariably of the variety that is conducted behind your back.

In a related vein, it seems that the upbeat-attitude-at-all-costs schtick deters us from commiserating with others, lest we appear to be dour cynics (i.e. too similar to the English for our own good) who lack that all-important can-do attitude. At the other extreme, when it is time to confess, it ends up surfacing in one of these cliched self-help outbursts, in which it takes some sort of group hug and self-improvement scheme meant to turn our lemons into lemonade, when perhaps a few beers and a good chat would have done the trick.

It's honestly one of things that has made me explore emigrating (yes, that's why I started reviewing this forum), for it does seem that the friendships that I've struck up while traveling overseas, particularly those with Europeans, were often more credible than many of the friend-acquaintances whom I have here. It might have been more difficult to hurdle that initial barrier, but at least when I've received a phone number from someone abroad, I could feel confident that my call will be genuinely welcomed, or when I have received an invitation to visit that it was likely that they would actually be pleased when I turned up.

It's nice to know it when people like you for who you are, and not just because you present another networking opportunity. That's one aspect of life here that I've never liked, even as a native, and I don't think that I'll ever get used to it.

[/rant]

By the way, I realize that I indulged in more than a few generalizations, and there are both fine people here and lousy people abroad. But every culture has its flaws, and this one seems to be ours.

Bob

I've a couple people here that are mates, though only go out and have drinks with one of them, until he got a new work schedule and we don't see him much at all these days...other mate doesn't drink, so apart from when i'm volunteering and doing stuff there in the evening, don't really hang out...it's a lot tougher making long term mates like back home, partly because we haven't gone to school together, or shared anything like that I guess.

A lot of other people here are very nice, but they generally come around for a quick natter and then just some thing in like oh, someone's throwing a baby shower, a wedding etc, and ask if you want to come bring a gift/food etc...not every one...but more is expected of you, can't be without strings...but I'm sure that's the same for a lot of people that move country, not just to the US...though this did start out because of that article, which was aimed at Americans not having a close circle of friends like they use to...

Lord Lionheart

That's not true it's only 50% me, me ,me. The other 50% is money, money, money or .............variables thereof
i.e possessions, or my career( which is basically the vehicle to get more money)