Originally Posted by Sugarmooma

We still don't do the big Christmas gift thing to each other even though times are a lot easier than they were. We spend $10 on each other and the gift has to be something "silly" We have a lot of fun doing it and it's amazing what you can find if you look in the right places...

Originally Posted by another bloody yank

Life is a series of struggles, interspersed with brief periods of non struggle, or not as much struggle. Kind of like the story of Sisyphus, if he had a few flat spots to rest along the way up. I'm not really an optimist as far as Americans go, but during those parts of the uphill journey that are in between rest stops I do find it helps to remember all the good things, the things that make me a lucky bastard.

By chance, I happened to be born a healthy white hetero man of adequate intelligence in a country where even the poor aren't, not by the standards of some other places anyway. I have a wonderful family, extended family and a Wife and two intelligent children that all get along and care about and support each other. I had the privilege of having all four of my grandparents around until I was an adult, giving me plenty of time to realize and appreciate their wisdom, gained from lives that make my trials seem like a cakewalk in comparison.

My family is healthy, we have a roof over our heads, clothes on our backs and food in our freezer. We have good friends nearby and others farther away who, while we might not meet but once in a year, remain close and unstale when we do. We have had the opportunity to live the last 6 years in a place that I consider nigh on paradise.

My wife and I are both lucky enough to have good jobs. We don't make a lot of money, but we have health insurance and make enough to enjoy some hobbies and buy some things considered luxuries by many. We both enjoy our work (most of the time) get along with and are well respected by our coworkers and employers.

And I have 4 weeks vacation.

Would my outlook be affected if we were unemployed and living in our truck, or worse? I'm sure it would, but look through my list above and note how many things in it are not dependant on employment or money.


Would my outlook be affected if my family was a bunch of backstabbing bastards and I had no friends to speak of? Yes, I'm sure it would, but note how many things in my list aren't dependant on family or friends.

I feel I have a great life. I have my trials and tribulations, but as someone said above, for those of us lucky enough to be born into or live in first world nations, we already have a leg up on a good portion of the planet.

I guess my point is, no matter how bad the situation appears, you can usually find something positive somewhere. You might have to look thoroughly, but there is usually something.

If you can't find anything positive, move to Nashville. You have a career in Country Music awaiting you.

For all the what ifs and worries (and my wife is good at this)... "I have a good job now, but what if I lose it?" "I'm healthy now, but what if I get sick?" "The car is running good now, but what if it breaks?"... Everyone has their own "sword" hanging above their head, but if you dwell on it you won't enjoy the feast on the table before you. According to Cicero, "there can be nothing happy for the person over whom some fear always looms"*





*Yeah, I took that quote from the wiki on Damocles. I said adequate intelligence, not superior. What do you think, I walk around throwing out quotes from Cicero on a regular basis?

Originally Posted by ajcmals

My wife and I aren't exchanging gifts this year. I feel terrible because I enjoy giving and this year I cannot, it's hard to accept when you have done in the past BUT Christmas isn't all about gifts of course

Originally Posted by Norri

Why would that be?

Originally Posted by dunroving

I'm with you 100% on that. It takes all the pressure off gift-giving (and receiving).

We are influenced way too much by the media to buy presents for every single person we know, and to spend, spend, spend. Front page news in the Times today - the continued recession is all the fault of thrifty families ... :curse: Whatever happened to saving and being thrifty (NOT the same as miserly) being good qualities?

Was out at the shops a couple of days last week (just food shopping) and couldn't believe how stressed people looked. By the looks of their trollies, there must be a nuclear holocaust coming or they were preparing for a famine! I also couldn't believe the number of bags people were carrying, from every shop you could think of. If you already have an M&S bag that's only quarter full, why not simply put other purchases in the same bag?

(Can you tell I'm not really into Christmas?) Actually, I am, just not in the way the media tells us we "should be".

Originally Posted by dunroving

By the looks of their trollies, there must be a nuclear holocaust coming or they were preparing for a famine!

Originally Posted by dunroving

We are influenced way too much by the media to buy presents for every single person we know, and to spend, spend, spend. Front page news in the Times today - the continued recession is all the fault of thrifty families ... :curse: Whatever happened to saving and being thrifty.

Originally Posted by ajcmals

p.s. I have anxiety issues, problem is for me my philosophy is that a 'pill' isn't going to make me get more money or cure any personal issues. I have thought about getting pills but I am afraid of the restraints for future employment, especially as they ask about anxiety issues. If it's not on my medical record then I don't have to say yes!

I try to remain positive where possible though. It's silly, I got overexcited on getting my US Drivers license (cake walk)! Amazing how much more you appreciate things when you really are down!

Originally Posted by ajcmals

p.s. I have anxiety issues, problem is for me my philosophy is that a 'pill' isn't going to make me get more money or cure any personal issues. I have thought about getting pills but I am afraid of the restraints for future employment, especially as they ask about anxiety issues. If it's not on my medical record then I don't have to say yes!

I try to remain positive where possible though. It's silly, I got overexcited on getting my US Drivers license (cake walk)! Amazing how much more you appreciate things when you really are down!

Originally Posted by ajcmals

I try to remain positive where possible though. It's silly, I got overexcited on getting my US Drivers license (cake walk)! Amazing how much more you appreciate things when you really are down!

Originally Posted by hobbes79

Maybe if more people had this approach, we wouldn't have gotten ourselves into this mess in the first place!

Originally Posted by orangemirror

As well as the money thing, you are probably going through the adjustment phase that I struggled with my first year here. You don't know how to do anything because it's different and it affects your confidence. I remember how small achievements like getting my driving licence gave me a real boost. The first 6-12 months are the toughest. You get the hang of things after that.

Originally Posted by lansbury

Stop being sensible, it is sensible people like you who cause the problems. If you would buy houses at over inflated prices and borrow money to buy things you can't afford or don't need this mess wouldn't have happened and we'd all have jobs.

Originally Posted by Sugarmooma

That was very deep ABY but very true. Great post