nettlebed

Yes, is it ' cos you is Mac (plus you look like Stefan).

Objectively. you're OK.

N1cky

Good advice Trixie, we were in a similar position in the UK when our daughter was around 1 year old. We did loads of free stuff, and they are some of the best memories we have.

Totally agree, we all have rough times/good times and all are relative to other people's situations.

Whine away ajcmals, we all need to do it every now and again. When you get above 500 posts people will have sympathy for you rather than getting on your case.

Hope things improve for you

Norri

Why would that be?

HumphreyC

Good effort; and that was in what has been possibly the longest post-war recession.

I work in sales (Corporate and Legal) in the U.K at the moment so I can sympathise. It is really slow here too because the economy is so diabolical (still in recession) and most of our original clients are now either owned by the government or have been subject to massive redundancies. We have picked up some deals but from what I know from others in the industry we are in the minority Frankly I am just happy to have a job right now. The unemployment rate is not as high as the states but this is because companies here have decided to lay off their employees or offer them much lower wage packets. Tough times.

dunroving

That's so true - I look back at various times of my life and think "How the cr*p did I make it through that?", but somehow I did and then a year later it's amazing how different life can be.

Sue

He should go and read your blog. It would certainly let him see that things do get better if you just persevere

ajcmals

I do hope things improve for you. I am trying to appreciate what I do have, and yes compared to some it really isn't all that bad! I find it hard to embrace the fact that others around me are / have been so 'successful' or seem to have lots of spare cash, when I have equally put hard work and effort in (with no big reward!). Sometimes it is down to luck I guess and unfortunately I have to suck it up that in many cases 'life isn't fair!'

I have learnt alot since being here in the USA. I was EXTREMELY lucky back in the UK with my job, benefits (vacation time, pay - HEALTHCARE)... I am finding it hard to accept a 'live to work' attitude AND the fact that I don't have much spare cash leftover to have fun (although $50 is alot to some I know!!! That I must appreciate).

My wife and I aren't exchanging gifts this year. I feel terrible because I enjoy giving and this year I cannot, it's hard to accept when you have done in the past BUT Christmas isn't all about gifts of course

I find that University really screwed me up with money. I was one of those who fell in the middle and got the minimum Uni Loan, Paid my own rent, Worked all the part-time hours possible and had to get by using additional student credit cards / loans etc., that's another story though and if I knew I was gonna meet a Southern Belle then perhaps I would have done things differently! LOL! My point is I have never had savings (only when I was 13-16 doing a paper round, I was relatively RICH back then!) so it's great the some of you do!

Anyway I am making no sense now, Merry Christmas! I will try keep positive and enjoy what I do have

chartreuse

That's true and I didn't mean to suggest that you had. I was referring to your acerbic style, rather than the substance of any comments.

hobbes79

We're doing okay. Got laid off in April, but had new job in May. With the severance package and having no break in income (I got 30-days notice) we actually came out of the lay off better of financially than when we started.

Which I felt (rightly or wrongly!) was what we deserved after going through the stress of being laid off with a wife, a stay at home mom, 6-months pregnant!

New job is identical pay to my previous, but with a pretty impressive 20-days of paid time off a year.

So can't complain really, though I'm acutely aware the house of cards could collapse at any moment at the whim of a CEO...

dunroving

Bingo! Playing mind games like that will do your head in.

Perhaps the most difficult part of moving back to the UK for me has been the change in my finances. This was mainly due to the fact that while my house in the States hardly changed in value at all in 6 years, houses in the UK skyrocketed. Additionally, while renting after my return to the UK, I was watching house prices creeping higher and higher, and reading newspaper columns and watching TV presenters like Phil and Kirsty (:curse ramp up the necessity to "get on the ladder".

Of course, I bought in March 2007 and a few months later, guess what ...? So now, I look around at neighbours who have mortgages half the size of mine (or less), nice cars or plasma TVs funded by home refinancing, blah, blah. But ruminating on these issues does not change my situation one bit, so gradually I have managed to persuade myself to just let it go (aside from the occasional rant or comment like this post).

I read an article in the Times recently about how unhappy modern Brits are compared to the 50's and 60's, despite being so much better off. Part of the article referred to the preoccupation with aiming for some happiness target somewhere in the future (when we move to the States we will be happy, when I get promoted I'll be happy, once we pay off the mortgage I'll be happy, I'll be happy after I retire). problem is that (a) it makes us inherently unhappy wiith our current lot, and (b) when we reach the target (get the car, retire, get promoted, emigrate), we then set ourselves up with another target ... so we never "reach" that point of happiness.

So count your blessings and maybe think about thnigs like washing the car with your missis as a fun activity, or digging a new flower bed, or going to the mall for a walk ... sure, it's not a 42" plasma TV or a Caribbean holiday, but it's what you have right now, so make the most of it and be happy with it.

(BTW, I'm sermonizing to myself as much as to anyone else )

fsm

I had a small little one bedroom place which I purchased in 1994 for £32,000, sold in 1999 for £31,350.

In 2007 the asking price for my little place was £83,000 for a 600 sq ft flat in Inverness.

One of the previous owners had ripped out the bathroom and redid it and laid hardwood floors down, but other than that there had been no changes.


Oh and I also managed to buy in the USA in 2007, our lovely 2651 sq ft, 4 bedroom house is now worth about $35,000 less than we paid for it

scrubbedexpat097

To be honest when I read my blog it scares me I guess 20 years ago I coped better with stress than I do now.

Things usually do get better if you persevere, having a roof over your head (even if the mortgage seems like it will never be paid off) and having a job are two major pluses. Being homeless and both out of work are definite negatives

BritishGuy36

Here's an inexpensive gift idea for you.

Go and get a big bar of Hershey's chocolate......and stick a wick in it. Makes for a nice romantic novelty candle. After all, that's all american chocolate is good for.

scrubbedexpat097

We still don't do the big Christmas gift thing to each other even though times are a lot easier than they were. We spend $10 on each other and the gift has to be something "silly" We have a lot of fun doing it and it's amazing what you can find if you look in the right places...

another bloody yank

Life is a series of struggles, interspersed with brief periods of non struggle, or not as much struggle. Kind of like the story of Sisyphus, if he had a few flat spots to rest along the way up. I'm not really an optimist as far as Americans go, but during those parts of the uphill journey that are in between rest stops I do find it helps to remember all the good things, the things that make me a lucky bastard.

By chance, I happened to be born a healthy white hetero man of adequate intelligence in a country where even the poor aren't, not by the standards of some other places anyway. I have a wonderful family, extended family and a Wife and two intelligent children that all get along and care about and support each other. I had the privilege of having all four of my grandparents around until I was an adult, giving me plenty of time to realize and appreciate their wisdom, gained from lives that make my trials seem like a cakewalk in comparison.

My family is healthy, we have a roof over our heads, clothes on our backs and food in our freezer. We have good friends nearby and others farther away who, while we might not meet but once in a year, remain close and unstale when we do. We have had the opportunity to live the last 6 years in a place that I consider nigh on paradise.

My wife and I are both lucky enough to have good jobs. We don't make a lot of money, but we have health insurance and make enough to enjoy some hobbies and buy some things considered luxuries by many. We both enjoy our work (most of the time) get along with and are well respected by our coworkers and employers.

And I have 4 weeks vacation.

Would my outlook be affected if we were unemployed and living in our truck, or worse? I'm sure it would, but look through my list above and note how many things in it are not dependant on employment or money.


Would my outlook be affected if my family was a bunch of backstabbing bastards and I had no friends to speak of? Yes, I'm sure it would, but note how many things in my list aren't dependant on family or friends.

I feel I have a great life. I have my trials and tribulations, but as someone said above, for those of us lucky enough to be born into or live in first world nations, we already have a leg up on a good portion of the planet.

I guess my point is, no matter how bad the situation appears, you can usually find something positive somewhere. You might have to look thoroughly, but there is usually something.

If you can't find anything positive, move to Nashville. You have a career in Country Music awaiting you.

For all the what ifs and worries (and my wife is good at this)... "I have a good job now, but what if I lose it?" "I'm healthy now, but what if I get sick?" "The car is running good now, but what if it breaks?"... Everyone has their own "sword" hanging above their head, but if you dwell on it you won't enjoy the feast on the table before you. According to Cicero, "there can be nothing happy for the person over whom some fear always looms"*





*Yeah, I took that quote from the wiki on Damocles. I said adequate intelligence, not superior. What do you think, I walk around throwing out quotes from Cicero on a regular basis?