Am i mad?!

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Old Aug 21st 2012, 1:17 pm
  #46  
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Default Re: Am i mad?!

Originally Posted by jenninedinburgh
Many on these boards will tell you that you are crazy or give you all the negatives of why you should consider your choice carefully. Many of these people are homesick and wish more than anything to go back to the UK to be near family. Who could blame them? There are pros and cons to both countries and all countries. You just have to do what's right for you at the time and go from there.

Very best wishes,

Jennifer
I think telling someone to think long and hard about a move to the US is a very practical thing. If you've lived outside the US for a long time, then things have definitely changed. People are more divided now than ever before, and people on the Right are more extremist in their views than ever before.
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Old Aug 21st 2012, 1:40 pm
  #47  
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Default Re: Am i mad?!

Originally Posted by Bluegrass Lass
I think telling someone to think long and hard about a move to the US is a very practical thing. If you've lived outside the US for a long time, then things have definitely changed. People are more divided now than ever before, and people on the Right are more extremist in their views than ever before.
People will tell you similar about the UK - that things have really changed if you haven't been here in a while. The sad reality is, it's bad everywhere right now. As said, there's no utopia. Each person has to do what's right for themselves. I am definitely in agreement that it's a good idea to help those with rose coloured specs, but this OP seems to understand what he's in for, so my point was to tell him to follow his heart at the moment - as really that is what he will do regardless of what people say here. He in fact stated such.
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Old Aug 21st 2012, 2:21 pm
  #48  
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Default Re: Am i mad?!

Originally Posted by Married2abrit
Bomjeito, he mentioned a K-1 visa, not a job-related visa so this part doesn't really fit his scenario.

"But you can protect what you can when you come here. Hubby (UKC) gets 30 days paid vacation a year plus 9 paid national holidays. So that is the same as UK for us. We get health care provided (although we pay, starting now, $500 a family deductible this year.) And we fly to UK minimum of 2x a year. At least the additional paid leave you should be able to negotiate in if the firm hiring you really wants you."

To the OP, best of luck in whatever you and your fiance decide. Best wishes for your shared future!
Yes, I know, and I specifically did not want to address visas but his American Dream, but at some point in the future, don't you think he'll want to find work? He'll still have to negotiate a package of benefits like any other PR/Citizen in the USA. I don't think he's coming to marry his sugar-mamma, but I'm just assuming.

ETA: I'm American by birth and still negotiate a month's paid leave a year or I don't take the position. Its not an expat privilege.

Last edited by Bomjeito; Aug 21st 2012 at 2:47 pm.
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Old Aug 21st 2012, 2:24 pm
  #49  
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Default Re: Am i mad?!

Originally Posted by Beaverstate
The south basically ends somewhere in East Texas. That is where the Southwest begins. I imagine most Texans would put Texas into its own category however.
Ha - 'Tis true. A born Texan will draw arms if considered "South." And probably shoot as well if considered "SW." They tend also to consider their role in the Confederate Army as helpmates, not true confederates. I think they thought if the South won the war, then maybe Texas could become their own country again.

ps: The Texas Civil War museum in Fort Worth is quite worth a stop to see.
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Old Aug 21st 2012, 2:35 pm
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Default Re: Am i mad?!

Originally Posted by Zen10
Exactly, yes. Just remember south of the Mason-Dixon line you LOVE Generals Lee and Jackson and Grant and Sherman were sissies, and reverse these views when you go north and you will be fine.
Not strictly true. There are plenty of instances where the war set brother against brother and secession from the Union was a far from unanimous decision.
Scott County, TN even went as far as to secede from the state (and so the Confederacy) after its populous voted overwhelmingly against leaving the Union. This resulted in the formation of the Free and Independent State of Scott. It's location on the border with KY made it a route out for the many loyalist East Tennesseans and eventually became a safe route in for General Burnside's army to take back Knoxville from the Confedrates.
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Old Aug 21st 2012, 2:44 pm
  #51  
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Default Re: Am i mad?!

Originally Posted by Bluegrass Lass
I think telling someone to think long and hard about a move to the US is a very practical thing. If you've lived outside the US for a long time, then things have definitely changed. People are more divided now than ever before, and people on the Right are more extremist in their views than ever before.
Bluegrass Lass, you have a good point here. I've been out of the US for almost 20 years, bar 3 years in the mid-2000s. The reason why I left again in 2008 was because things have changed so much.

Healthcare is more tricky to navigate and expensive. However, its some of the best I've seen worldwide. (Yes, I've been in NHS hospitals and treated in one.) One of the main reasons to take the move to Houston from Aberdeen was that we needed some medical assistance that NHS didn't offer and we didn't want to travel to London all the time for private pay assistance. So we are the lucky ones, we can afford the health system here in the USA - for now.

The atmosphere in the USA the past decade has been very politicized. (Is that a word?) Its become all about us vs. them, red vs. blue, rising taxes, cost of living rising faster than inflation, poor savings incentives, banking issues, etc. etc. It seems like nothing is easy anymore, then either a state or federal government changes everything again.

Add that to the urban problems, recession, poverty and a seeming general state of lessening manners (a general observation.)

Now I live in a huge city so I have to deal with this every day. I miss stomping around the green of Scotland (okay, with wellies and a weatherproof) but there isn't the honk of a horn or someone yelling at someone else. Here, we fly up to New England and calm down again. However the job situation in the USA is not geared toward small town living in idyllic settings so we are here in Houston.

If the OP and his fiance have a shared requirement for a liberal or left-leaning community, then they can find many all over the USA. And I'm assuming they need to work (her or him or both) so that too can be factored in on where to move. So to the OP: its an opportunity! Take it, try it, and work with it with sincere desire to make something work.

The big thing is: have you discussed all this with your fiance and what they are willing to do/sacrifice if you don't find your American Dream and want to move back to the UK? Is she willing to relocate to the UK?

Just thoughts. Any country is what you make of it. People look at me like I'm insane when I say that one of the best places that I've lived long term was Pakistan. So go figure. Its all what YOU make of the place.
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Old Aug 21st 2012, 2:52 pm
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Default Re: Am i mad?!

Originally Posted by jenninedinburgh
People will tell you similar about the UK - that things have really changed if you haven't been here in a while. The sad reality is, it's bad everywhere right now. As said, there's no utopia. Each person has to do what's right for themselves. I am definitely in agreement that it's a good idea to help those with rose coloured specs, but this OP seems to understand what he's in for, so my point was to tell him to follow his heart at the moment - as really that is what he will do regardless of what people say here. He in fact stated such.
Oh, I agree. The same advice to think long and hard about relocating applies to just about any country. Each country has its good and bad, and it's a good thing to know, ahead of time, those differences in order to take some of that rosiness away to know what you are getting yourself into. By all means he should follow his heart, that's what my hubby did when he joined me here over 8years ago, and that's what I'm doing now going back to Scotland. He should just be aware of the upcoming culture shock.
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Old Aug 21st 2012, 3:03 pm
  #53  
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Default Re: Am i mad?!

Originally Posted by Bomjeito
Any country is what you make of it. People look at me like I'm insane when I say that one of the best places that I've lived long term was Pakistan.
Interesting. That would be well down my list of places to live. What were the pluses ?
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Old Aug 22nd 2012, 12:58 am
  #54  
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Default Re: Am i mad?!

Originally Posted by HumphreyC
Interesting. That would be well down my list of places to live. What were the pluses ?
Cost of living, the food, the scenery...well according to a couple of mates that have moved out there, well one just moved over to India after a couple of years.

They both went out there to set up companies in software development and found loads of help available and are loving it.

Neither have any family type ties to the regions.
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