GeoffM

I think even third world citizens get a bit of a shock when they realise that the US isn't quite the American Dream portrayed in most movies.

Presumably you mean the deep south rather than the south generally... no idea about NC but that's not really south or deep south either - is it?

Homeiswheretheheartis

I'm overhere with my husbands job, he is employed by a UK goverment (thankfully), which means we pay UK tax and our healthcare, holidays and polictics are still like we are in the UK.

But I struggle daily with all of the things you have mentioned. Just to give you a couple of points that blow my mind each day.

Hearing on the news at least every second day of someone being shot.

Four mass shootings, in the 10 months of being here. No proper debates on gun laws.

My DDs school having information for kids who live in cars, offical line in all local schools, it not making headline news and people not being that shocked.

Cost of prem baby care $100,000 with $10,000 co pay for the parents (someone on here)

People believeing healthcare is NOT a right for all.

EXTREME VIEWS NOT BEING IN THE MINORITY, and them effecting politics/work and every area of your life. E.G Boy Scouts not allowing gay members/helpers. Don't under estimate this, especially in politics.

I could go on and on and on. I know my experience of the US is limited to NV, so I would be very interested to hear if there are other states that are better.

From the little I have seen, the American Dream is only possible for a few, at the huge expense of the majority.


I suggest you read 'The betrayal of the American Dream' by Donald L Barlett, I found this very interesting.

Sally Redux

The problem I have is that views seem to be becoming more extreme and entrenched here. People are quite happy to tell you that 'socialized medicine' is crap even if they know nothing about how it actually operates. I wonder if my kids will be able to get healthcare when they come off our policy. I don't know if we will get good care when older here. Religion is a big deal, but education and research (my husband's job) are under the cosh more every year.

Bob

It's worlds away from California though on religion and guns...

Homeiswheretheheartis

If we were to continue to live here I would worry for my kids future. I have a DD with learning difficulites. This means her chance of graduating from High School are more that small. What chance of a job that provides good healthcare would she have.

How would any of my childrens life be if they are gay with so many people having extreme veiws on the subject.

Scary, good job we aren't staying.

Bluegrass Lass

Uh, yes, NC would be considered South. Take it from a native Kentuckian.

Jiggy, I'm a born and bred American, and I want the hell out of dodge, mostly for all the reasons you mention. I'm sick of the pro-guns, pro-God, shove-our-ideals-down-everyone-else's-throat, take-away-women's-rights mentalities.

Yes, a lot of people in the South might be some of the nicest people you've met and be very courteous to your face, but it doesn't take long for bigotry to start showing. You should be very prepared for that. They won't like anything regarding socialized medicine (that's communism), they don't want same-sex couple to have any rights, I've met more than a few that think that anything European is evil, and quite a few that have never traveled outside their home state, more or less know anything about another country. Unfortunately I have to include my own mother in that category. There will always be exceptions to the rule, and you will find people that are more open-minded, but they will likely be in the minority in NC.

My husband (the Brit) and I are in the process of planning a return back to the UK. We pinged back and forth in the past year, but we are tired of many things here and hope to settle back in Scotland for the long term.

I'm truly not trying to put you off, but I just think you should be prepared for major culture shock.

Just wanted to add, if you want to stay in the US, but you want to get away from these mentalities, then I would really suggest a move away from the South and Midwest. If you really want to surround yourself with like-minded people, then the Northeast and the Pacific Northwest would be your best bets. We've considered moving to those area ourselves, but have decided that a move out west would be just as costly as one back to the UK, and moving back to the UK gets my OH closer to his family, among other reasons to go, so that's the route we decided to take. The American Dream isn't dead per se, but it really isn't what it's made out to be, especially if you are from another 1st world country. The 'dream' depends on your level of love for money and materialistic goods, not anything meaningful.

Sally Redux

Good luck and I hope your daughter does really well
Hope things go more smoothly for you this time.

sunnysideup

20 years in the US has done something 30 years in the UK could not: it has made me a socialist. I'm heading back to Europe as soon as I can afford to retire.

Homeiswheretheheartis

Soooooo true, in the UK I am classed as conservative, here I'm not just a socialist, I'm a communist - healthcare for all

Homeiswheretheheartis

jiggy

I would recommend spending sometime reading the Republican Debate tread in Trailer Park.

It will give you a really good insight to how extreme views politicians in the US have. There are some unbelievable links to interviews and articles.

The latest being Republican congressman Todd Akin claiming that victims of "legitimate rape" rarely get pregnant.

I can sadly state statements as daft as this are made everyday by politicians on both sides, thats why the tread is so long.

It least you will be prepared for how narrow minded, predudice and just completely mad some (not all) people are over here.

Zen10

I'll answer this from someone who could have gone to America but chose not to. I love America and (most of) what it stands for, but for me it really changed after 9/11 and I don't recognise it any more. I had problems with it to start with, and you have already mentioned them, but after 9/11 it changed for the worse, for me, anyway. My view is that the first decade of the 21st century is when long-term US decline met up with post-9/11 paranoia and America just changed. Nowhere stays the same. I hope it gets back on track to be honest because Americans are good people in my experience, but I'm not optimistic.

I don't think I would choose to live there now - possible but not probable. If we move away from Australia it will definitely be back to Europe, and it will only be temporary.

However, things could be different for you because you have family/loved ones there.

Zen10

NC was one of the most important Confederate States!

GeoffM

Were the Confederates the north or the south? Genuinely ignorant - not something they teach in Britain, though I didn't take GCSE History so maybe I missed out. I did Google it earlier actually, and my unscientific research seemed to suggest it was north, hence my ending. Anyway, that was donkeys years ago!

While googling I came across a list of gun crimes and California (my state, which I expected to be way up the top) was only 17th per capita - and NC (and pretty much most of the Deep South) were up high. Learn something new every day!

Beaverstate

Confederates were the south. Some southerners still are.

Zen10

If you go there you'll see all the little Dixie flags all over the place. Some of them are quite serious about it.