MsElui

waiting for the in laws to die is also a bit odd - (ignoring the moral oddity side of it) they may well live to a ripe old age and keep you waiting a long long time. Is the OP prepared for a potentially very long wait?

scrubbedexpat099

Or spend it, or use it up in medical expenses.

lisa67

My parents tried really hard when we were growing up, but we never had any money for "extras". Like many others we had clothes from the jumble sales and new clothes were given as Xmas and Birthday pressies. My husband reminded me of this when, many moons ago now, we were first married and I was desperate to have a baby. We lived in a very small house in the middle of a large city and my husband knew that if we had a baby then we would never get out of that situation and persuaded me to wait.
I'm so glad we did. We continued to work and save until we could afford a better house.
We have a great lifestyle now and I'm not ashamed to say that my kids are not growing up like I did as we have worked bl**dy hard to get where we are.
It all boils down to "are you willing to live with the consequences of your actions"?

jumping doris

I did read the other posts before I answered but I still think the comments were unwarranted. (I know the OP flew off the handle too but she had come under seige from everyone.)

I felt sorry that she was being looked on as a freeloader. Her family pay their taxes and perhaps they won't mind their bit being spent on her pregnancy. She probably worked in the UK and her taxes are now being spent on others, that's the way it works.

Anyway..not my argument. I'm off to eat my dinner.

Elvira

Indeed.

And, to my mind, this goes much deeper than "can they 'afford' a baby or not?"

The lady is unhappy and homesick. What if, having had a child, the marriage falls apart under all the pressure, and the husband refuses to let her take the child back to the UK?

Then she'd be well and truly stuck.

Until she has sorted out in her own mind where she can/wants to live, having a baby would (IMHO) be an extremely bad idea.

Xebedee

Hat's off.

Ash UK/US

Even if her and her hubby had a well paid job and good insurance it would do little to change the fact that she is depressed/depressive. I am sure just about every mother on this site would agree with me that even when you are not suffering from depression young babies/children can be mentally wearing.

I personally would recommend the OP getting her depression taken care of, some decent health coverage and a little bit of money set aside 'just in case' before trying to start a family.

Ash

auntie_wolf

This is a really good point. Too often we see (mostly) women posting on BE, but sometimes men, who find themselves in this exact situation. It really is a heart breaking one.

I think given all the pressure and struggles this woman is facing right now, it is one to really consider.

AlienUk

Wow...I think you are unhinged and emotionally unstable. Adopt a dog instead.

tonrob

Are we going to continue to batter this poor girl? She's already done the huge climb-down if you can be bothered to go and look.

AlienUk

Ok, I'll behave....no battering!!

I did actually go read AFTER posting.....she does sound quite sweet actually

MsElui

http://britishexpats.com/forum/showt...=567251&page=2

actually now she sounds like a complete loony.


And the saddest part of it all - she probably will go and get pregnant to spite us and can you imagine the life the poor baby will have with a mother as comfused and aggressive as that? not to mention having no money. very sad.

Rete

Since the OP is not here to defend herself, this thread is now closed.