Rete

Speaking for myself as a descent of two Polish immigrants who raised 11 children and as a single mom who raised two children on $12,500 back in 1978, yes, you can live on $9 an hour if your rent and utilities and other going expenses are minimal.

For the most part, the participants in these forums earn at least 3 x your husband's hourly wage per hour, if not more.

I know of no p/t work that will give benefits. However, most states have low cost health insurance available to people who are within a certain income level. Check it out for Texas.

As for the Mexicans, rememeber they don't pay taxes (for the most part as they work off the books) and their lifestyles are far leaner than what most citizens of a first world nation are use to.

penguinsix

$9 an hour is borderline entry wage for many positions. Relatively unskilled, just a notch above minimum wage (i.e. McDonalds, K-Mart, etc). A skilled position like a carpenter should be in the $20-$30 range. I won't even tell you what my wife and I bill at as lawyers as it would make your head spin.

These are the average wages for Austin TX for example.

Avg. Hourly Avg. Entry Level
All Occupations $18.65 $8.17
Management $41.30 $21.02
Business and Financial Operations $25.70 $15.49
Computer and Mathematical $32.86 $19.68
Architecture and Engineering $30.39 $17.17
Life, Physical, and Social Science $28.50 $16.32
Community and Social Services $15.67 $8.99
Legal $32.09 $13.81
Education, Training, and Library $19.54 $10.02
Arts, Design, Entertainment, Sports, and Media $20.00 $10.15
Healthcare Practitioners and Technical $30.63 $14.06
Protective Service $16.05 $8.65
Food Preparation and Serving Related $7.97 $5.93
Building & Grounds Cleaning & Maintenance $9.50 $6.87
Personal Care and Service $9.97 $6.27
Sales and Related $15.46 $7.17
Office and Administrative Support $14.34 $9.11
Farming, Fishing, and Forestry $10.57 $6.35
Construction and Extraction $14.81 $9.34
Installation, Maintenance, and Repair $17.82 $10.70
Production $13.26 $8.39
Transportation and Material Moving $11.88 $7.14

There are some part-jobs that will allow you to purchase health insurance, but they are more the exception than the rule. Some payroll services will let you buy as part of their offerings. Really depends on the employer.

Yes, you can do this on the cheap, but it's going to be harder. There will be hard sacrifices and the safety net here has some pretty large gaping holes. From some of your other posts it seems like you're already having a bit of an adjustment issue and I'm not entirely sure adding a kid to the mix is really the best idea financially (or emotionally, mentally, etc).

If you are serious about this, my advice would be to buy some form of insurance--something/anything that covers the 'worst case' scenario. Even if it has a large deductible (your out of pocket payment) have something that gives you the 'holy-hell' coverage if things go wrong. You can get a lower cost insurance plan that still means you are going to be out of pocket a few thousand, but if things go to all hell in a handbasket, you aren't going to be saddled with a $250,000 debt.

These are the kind of insurance plans that young, healthy people often buy, jokingly referred to as 'hit by a truck' insurance plans--designed to save your butt if you get in a major accident.

Gingerert

I really feel for you if you are lonely in the USA and want a child. It's a situation many of us on here can relate to, and while I think many posters on here are offering helpful and useful advice, sometimes we forget how hard it was at the beginning.

May I ask why you only need a part time job? Can you look for full-time work instead and get into a company that offers benefits? Also, just as a point of reference, many states over here are not required to give you your job back after maternity leave if you haven't worked for them for a full 365 days before hand. If you're planning on working, having leave, then returning again, you may want to wait until you've worked there for six months.

That all being said, you do what you feel comfortable doing. It is your life, your (new) family and your finances. You are only young enough to have kids once and if you truly believe this is the right time, then sod the world (and the bank) and go procreate.

I wish you and your little family lots of luck.

naomi

I'm pretty sure Starbucks pays benefits to part time workers. May be worth checking out.
http://www.starbucks.com/customer/fa....asp?name=jobs

Homesick English Girl

PENGUINSIX WROTE: "I won't even tell you what my wife and I bill at as lawyers as it would make your head spin."
"I'm not entirely sure adding a kid to the mix is really the best idea financially (or emotionally, mentally, etc)."


Well, obviously you're the last person I'd be coming to for legal advice then!
Why would you even feel the NEED to announce that?
You know, I was going to keep my feelings to myself about some of these responses, but the more I've thought about them, the angrier I feel.
I asked a simple question, but instead of just a simple answer, I get peoples' personal opinions on whether they think I'm ready to be a mother or not.
How dare you?
The majority of you are nothing but scare-mongerers, always putting the worst-case scenario out there, dismissing someone's position to be a parent because of their financial status.
$9 per hour might not be the $40+ p/h that greedy laywers and doctors charge so that they can have 5star holidays to the Carribean twice a year, but it is more than adequate for a basic family's needs.
If I ever have children, then they will be brought up to respect money and how people have to work damned hard to earn it, and I'm sorry if this offends you, but just being able to buy your kid the latest Sony Playstation or provide them with a top of the range car the minute they turn 17 is NOT making you any better a parent.
I think this will be the last time I bother with this forum - I came here because I wanted to meet and chat to other like-minded Brits w had perhaps been, or were in, the same position as me.
A few decent individuals have contacted me via private message offering their support, and for that, I am grateful, but apart from that, forget it.

Nice knowing y'all, I'll be off to find people in the REAL world.

SecretGarden

Well, looking back through the thread, I guess I was the first one to question not whether I thought you were "ready to be a mother or not", but rather, if you were financially stable enough to bring a totally dependent little person into it. I didn't dream that up. Forgive me, but YOU were the one who came here asking if you would be eligible to let the taxpayers in this country pay their taxes so that you can afford to have a baby.

I signed my post "Respectfully" as I thought you might take offense at what I was asking. While I think it is certainly possible that a person can be a damn good parent with low financial resources, odds are that things are going to come up, and call me a nosey b*tch, but I thought the question was worth asking. Believe me, I've been through it all in the "quest for a baby" and when the going got tough, I also had to question my motives for pursuing it. Maybe it's just me, but I think it's pretty healthy to question yourself and do some analysis before jumping into things, particularly when you are asking OTHER people to FOOT THE BILL for your choices. And that is one thing that I never would ask someone else to do.

So, I'm sorry if you took offense to some of the comments. I personally did not mean to upset you. But sometimes when we are immersed in a situation we need others to make us take a step back and see the forest for the trees.

I hope you will come back, and I wish you the best of luck.

~SecretGarden

penguinsix

Bye then.

But as you'll probably come back here, I think it is important to note that even with an income well in above of $9 an hour, having a kid is a real effort (aka 'why I would even think of announcing it'). Like many here, I make a decent living, but like many here, we're on the verge of 'one major incident' causing tremendous pain. I've posted over and over again (and you seem to ignore or put away as 'scare mongering') the fact that one mistake or problem in a hospital can be $250k instantly out of pocket. That'll hurt anyone, including me and those who make above $9 an hour.

I don't see messages 'dismissing of someone's position to be a parent because of their financial status' but see instead messages made out of an abundance of caution, many from parents, of the pitfalls and calamities that can happen. People, myself included, have posted links and suggestions on how to get help, and all you can do is take it as an insult.

You seem to think it's easier to just be mad and simple-minded; to shallowly think anyone who has money 'buys kids the latest Playstation to make them a better parent' and looks down on those who don't have money (oh f&$%# please--surely you can think deeper than this). How easy it is to have an open mouth and closed mind.

What you seem so intent on ignoring is the fact that a great number of the posters here are trying to suggest that having a child is a hell of a lot more than a financial commitment. The emotional and mental investment is huge, and it can be hard on even the most settled and grounded families, let alone one dealing with a new culture and a bout of homesickness. That people are urging caution is done out of respect and concern, not disdain and contempt.

But, sadly, I've seen posts and stories like yours before, as have many other expats. So before you run off, go to the Moving back to the UK forum and read all the posts about marriages ripped to utter and complete shreds by living in a foreign culture and without friends and homesickness. Not a month goes by on this board we don't read about yet another expat having to split up with their spouse and abandon their children, or have a child be raised by one parent because the other will be on the opposite side of the world. That can be the "real world" of being an expat very easily.

So have a nice life and welcome to my ignore list.

scrubbedexpat097

If you are still reading this then maybe it might interest you to read my blog.I know my experiences started 19 years ago but they happened here in Texas. Living on a tight budget in a country you still are not entirely familiar with, robbing Peter to pay Paul, worrying if one of you gets sick how will you pay will cause stress and tension in the strongest of marriages

Life on a low low wage, without adequate health insurance and bringing up kids can be very very stressful. It was then for us and it still is the same today for people in the position you will be facing. Yes it can be done, but it will be a real struggle and if, as you have mentioned in other posts, you are still not settled here, not driving, no close family around then being stuck in your home all day with a baby and no one to turn to and no spare cash for "baby" emergencies will be very hard for you to cope with.

I think most of the posters on here were trying to help you, not belittle you.
You have to remember this is not the UK, babies need to be able to see a doctor regulary in the early years. If hubbys wage is above minimum wage so you are not entitled to any help then you will really struggle........and I'm not talking about all the "fancy extras" either. I mean just the basics soon eat into a low weekly wage

Homesick English Girl

Oh for god's sakes, listen to yourself, waving the effing martyr flag. Firstly, you have ZERO idea about me OR as to how much "consideration" I've put into it. And to suggest I'm, "Jumping into things" - yet another incorrect assumption. Being 32 years old, I would hardly consider myself young and uneducated, and to accuse me of trying to claim something that other people foot the bill for... you mean like my family and my husband who all PAY THEIR TAXES?
You are ignorant, you are rude, and I DO hope my response offends you, because yours sure as HELL offends ME.
Now shove this question up your do-gooder ass and forget I ever asked the damned thing.

SecretGarden

Well done.

I do wish you the best of luck in whatever you choose to do.

~SG

Jerseygirl

There is no reason for that response.

Sue

Homesick English Girl,

A lot of very nice people have reached out and responded to your thread, no one is trying to upset you. All I can see are other expats respectfully sharing their experiences with you. Sometimes it helps us all if we are asked to look at other points of view now and then, and I think that is what is being done here. Perhaps if you took a little time out to read other threads in the forum you would see what a great bunch of people the members are who use this site, and how they have helped each other through many trials and tribulations, the good times and the bad.

Regards

Sue

Bluegrass Lass

Absolutely. Enough of my tax dollars (and enough of the OP's spouses') salary goes to welfare, and I think more people need to be careful when it comes to kids. It's my opinion, and maybe it's misplaced, that most people (and probably esp women) think more with their emotions when it comes to children, and don't fully think through the ramifications and the impact a child will have on their lives, esp financially.

The OP may want to to downplay the financial side of things, but she needs to fully consider that the US is not the UK - you really have nothing and no one to fall back on. Your said yourself: you have no job, you have no friends, you have no family here, and you are obviously homesick. Maybe even borderline feeling depressed? Really look deep, and ask yourself: why do I want a child right now? If you are wanting a child because you are lonely, or want someone to love you unconditionally, or because you have no one else to hold on to right now, or to fill a gap left by leaving behind your family/friends, are not good reasons to have a child.

The monetary responsbility of having a child is not something to be glossed over. I grew up poor with my folks (I was an 'accident' when mom was 15), and though we didn't go without the really important stuff, I'm sure my folks did. And I think the monetary strain early on in the relationship was one of the primary causes of their divorce (that, and my dad was a bit of an a-hole). As an adult looking at my folks' marriage, I don't want my relationship with my OH to become strained and stressed like theirs, all because we don't establish ourselves better before going down the road of having children. I think that is all the other posters are trying to say (correct me if I'm wrong though).

Good luck with your decision.

Bluegrass Lass

Well, you've made lots of new friends haven't you?

md95065

Unfortunately you still don't seem to understand that, in the US, you don't get the same services and benefits that you would have got in the UK just for "paying your taxes".

Many of us don't like that, think that it is wrong, and believe that universal health care should be provided to all, but that isn't the way that it is right now and there is no point in pretending otherwise.

Of course, people have given birth for thousands of years without the benefit of doctors or medical care - if you choose to have a child you have an excellent chance of not having any problems, but you had better understand the risk that you are taking if you do have problems ...