Originally Posted by Lazzza

OP - I had typed this out before I read your reply. My experince is not the same as yours but I also have a 17 year old daughter who is here with me and with whom we went through the same whole experience with last year. I did not mention this last night because it was kinda late and I wanted to go to bed. I did expect to do this today but was distracted.........obviously

I know I should ignore the superior attitudes of those few who believe that because they have lived in the USA longer and spend most of their lives on here that they know more about everything than anyone else.

I also know I should ignore anyone who is only really actually capable of thinking in code. No lateral ability there whatsoever. Only zeros and 1's.

At least this experience has allowed me to use the word ARSE a lot this morning. I miss this word. I miss hearing it. I love this word and just how applicable it is in so many ways.

And sorry OP for you having to read all this twaddle. You have better things to do I'm sure than this. I feel for you, I really do. If my experience of leaving my 17-soon-to-be-18 year old helps you in any way - great. You are also welcome to PM me, so you don't have to deal with those who are 'all knowing'. You know, the people who don't actually give you any help but like to make snide, mean-spirited little remarks.

I am a Mum of 4, 3 of whom are in the USA and 1 who is in the UK. If I can help you at all, I will try.

Originally Posted by HampshireUK

Hi there, what a very stressful time for you. Happy to share my experiences with then 16 now 17 year old son, but I'd look into the visa situation first and check what your options are for your daughter to join you at 18.

A brief rundown of our experiences as this was us last year although we're on L1/2 visas.

My son was adamant he wanted to go to sixth form college in the UK with all his mates. In the end he was incredibly lucky to get a boarding place at this sixth form college. We had looked at him living with a friend's family during term time but did not need to pursue this.

Last summer when we moved over here, it was grim as he blamed us for ruining his life! From his perspective he had no friends here and although he'd contact his UK friends via his X-box games online and facebook it wasn't the same at all. He flew back to the UK in September and I must say my husband and I were a little relieved he was gone (very bad parents we are!), his sister (13) was delighted and to cut a long story short, almost a year later he has now decided that he wants to go to Uni in the States after 'A' levels. We're in Colorado and he wants to go to one of the local universities. We been told by the admissions offices that he'll pay instate tuition fees based on our residency as he'll still be classed as a minor (only $13K a year rather than $26K!) He's in the middle of AS exams in the UK at the moment so life is pretty stressful for him, but he has a great support network of his old mates and the new ones he boards with. He's lucky that his Grandfather only lives 10 miles away so can hop on the bus for a chat and a pub lunch. There is no way he will let us Skype more than once every week or two, we IM alot though - seems to be his preferred method of communication.

Over the last year he has become a very independent young man who now manages international travel and the delays that inevitably seem to go with that (flight 8 hours late at Christmas!); had to organize the return of his laptop for repair (might not seem like much to us adults, but he had to get a train and bus to get there and back + make the phonecalls to get it booked in as it was still underwarranty) and he has to do all his own washing at the boarding house too! He is a much more tolerant peron now compared to last year and much nicer to know as a result!

Can't say there aren't still challenges but if you PM me I'm happy to share our experiences in more detail. (I'm not a regular poster on here, so not sure how many posts you have to make before PMing is allowed).

Originally Posted by Lazzza

OP - I had typed this out before I read your reply. My experince is not the same as yours but I also have a 17 year old daughter who is here with me and with whom we went through the same whole experience with last year. I did not mention this last night because it was kinda late and I wanted to go to bed. I did expect to do this today but was distracted.........obviously

I know I should ignore the superior attitudes of those few who believe that because they have lived in the USA longer and spend most of their lives on here that they know more about everything than anyone else.

I also know I should ignore anyone who is only really actually capable of thinking in code. No lateral ability there whatsoever. Only zeros and 1's.

At least this experience has allowed me to use the word ARSE a lot this morning. I miss this word. I miss hearing it. I love this word and just how applicable it is in so many ways.

And sorry OP for you having to read all this twaddle. You have better things to do I'm sure than this. I feel for you, I really do. If my experience of leaving my 17-soon-to-be-18 year old helps you in any way - great. You are also welcome to PM me, so you don't have to deal with those who are 'all knowing'. You know, the people who don't actually give you any help but like to make snide, mean-spirited little remarks.

I am a Mum of 4, 3 of whom are in the USA and 1 who is in the UK. If I can help you at all, I will try.

Originally Posted by Jane

My daughter who is 16, will be living with her nan and grandad, who love her ( I reckon) just as much as me and will probably spoil her more.......I am not leaving her. She was meant to come with me.....it is her choice to stay here for 2 years to complete college, as a very sensible, mature young woman.......Who knows what she wants (and will prob get it)

As a mum, she is the world to me and guils always kicks in......I just wondered if anyone else went through a simular thing.....

Originally Posted by Rete

...I don't believe either of our countries would allow a 16 yo to live alone if it were brought to their attention.

What would be their source of income? Could they afford an apartment, food, clothing, phone, etc. and would they be mature enough to write checks each month for these staples need to sustain their lives?

Originally Posted by Bob

Actually, they'd get quite a lot of help and it wouldn't be something of massive concern...

Originally Posted by Jerseygirl

Unless things have changed in the UK a 16 year old can leave home and live alone.

Originally Posted by Bob

That's what I was saying

Housing allowance and other benefits to help them out if needed.

Originally Posted by Lazzza

OP - I had typed this out before I read your reply. My experince is not the same as yours but I also have a 17 year old daughter who is here with me and with whom we went through the same whole experience with last year. I did not mention this last night because it was kinda late and I wanted to go to bed. I did expect to do this today but was distracted.........obviously

I know I should ignore the superior attitudes of those few who believe that because they have lived in the USA longer and spend most of their lives on here that they know more about everything than anyone else.

I also know I should ignore anyone who is only really actually capable of thinking in code. No lateral ability there whatsoever. Only zeros and 1's.

At least this experience has allowed me to use the word ARSE a lot this morning. I miss this word. I miss hearing it. I love this word and just how applicable it is in so many ways.

And sorry OP for you having to read all this twaddle. You have better things to do I'm sure than this. I feel for you, I really do. If my experience of leaving my 17-soon-to-be-18 year old helps you in any way - great. You are also welcome to PM me, so you don't have to deal with those who are 'all knowing'. You know, the people who don't actually give you any help but like to make snide, mean-spirited little remarks.

I am a Mum of 4, 3 of whom are in the USA and 1 who is in the UK. If I can help you at all, I will try.

Originally Posted by Squirrel

16 year olds can still leave school and work full time in the UK too, I believe. My mum left school and home at 15 and went to work (admittedly, she moved in with her much older married sister).

Originally Posted by Bob

That's what I was saying

Housing allowance and other benefits to help them out if needed.

Originally Posted by pigg10

Well said