BrigieDarling

1. The only man that could ever please me, was the son of a preacher man. (or something like that)

2. I shot JR

3. I'm every woman.

4. I was in The Sun (more than once ô¿~)

5. I wore a Harrington jacket to school every day with the cover of Too Much Too Young (The Specials) stenciled on the back in Tipex.

rincewind

I can't believe I'm going to confess to these but what the hell, you don't know me:

1) After a bad tummy bug, I had to unload in the car park of PC World in Fareham :scared: (I had no choice, I apologise to the gardeners there, the roses were doing well that summer).

2) I used to artificially inseminate cows for a living. Yep, James Herriot style

3) Walking home from school one day (about an hour’s trip) I was smiling at all the people staring at me. When I got home, my trousers where ripped from the very back to the front. I was wearing a particular nice pair of purple undies that day. Never did figure out when they ripped.

4) I asked out a school teacher and was turned down in front of my whole chemistry class. Thanks Mrs Wolfendon :lecture:

5) When I was 4 years old, I was rushed to hospital after I slid a drinking straw in my ear to see if it would come out the other side It was one of those old Humphrey's straws and my sister still sings the advert tune to me. "Watch out, watch out, there's a Humphrey about!"

Man, I feel better.

dudleydowg

I was half asleep reading your piece and I could have sworn that your last one was saying that your big toe was joined to your elbow as a result of cousins marrying I'm gonna have to stop picking wild mushrooms

Rockgurl

When I was 3 my Dad took me horseriding, and sat me on his beautiful and very large horse to show me I shouldn't be frightened of them. He popped into the stable to grab a riding hat, and when he came out I was trotting round the paddock like a pro! I still remember the look of pride and amazement on his face!

When I was 7 I was taken to see Tom Jones in concert at the London Pavillion. It was fashionable in those dizzy heights of the 70s for the ladies to throw their knickers at him, but in between songs, my Dad gave me his silk handkerchief to take to him to wipe his face, and he invited me onto the stage and proceeded to pick me and ask me what my name was. I told him in a very small voice, and all the old dears went "aaahhhh". If only the ground could have opened up....

When I was 14 I ran away from home to go to Liverpool as I was a massive Beatles fan. I only got as far as the slip road to the M1 when the police picked me up and gave me a severe talking to. They so didn't understand! LOL.

I've always been an 80s freak, and once, when I was in an all-girl Metal band called Afterbirth, my friend made me a pair of leopard skin lycra leggings. I put them on in soundcheck in order to wear them for the show that night and the whole band refused to go onstage with me unless I changed. Oh the embarassment!

Chrissie Hynde once pinched my bum.

lairdside

Lord I don't know if I have five but I'll try:

1) When I was eleven I was feeding my baby brother his breakfast. I turned my back on him for a second and he toppled out of his highchair and landed head down on the kitchen floor.

He was ok but I swear he's never been the same since....

2) When I was in 6th form I was out drinking with friends (I was 17 *erm*). A guy I was talking to asked me out on a date and I went on a few dates with him. He turned out to be a teacher (a YOUNG one 22/23 years old) from another school.

My friends coughed on I was at Uni and I stuck to the story faithfully.

3) In fourth year juniors I kneed a boy (Christopher Griffiths)
in the bollocks in class because he kept teasing me. He collasped into a heap on the floor but didn't tell the teacher on me.

He didn't tease me anymore.

4) I've taken my bra off and danced on the table in a nightclub when I was at Uni for a bet and I wasn't drunk. I'm sure that was the night I started the massive balloon fight that... or was that another time .......

5) I noticed my first white hair when I was seventeen years old.

I have lots more confessions but they are just TOO AWFUL!!!

DBH

Ummm... you did throw those out, right?

ScousePete

Alright then,

1. When I was thirteen I got arrested for shoplifting in Woolies. Sat in a police cell until my mum and dad got me. I got off with a caution, but it scared the living shit out of me. Obvious to say I never did anything like that again.

2. I worked for three weeks picking garlic in New Zealand, the farmer said me and my mates were so good, he offered us jobs in the garlic factory. I passed!

3. I stood in the Stretford End at Old Trafford because my sad Manc mate didn't have anyone to go to the game with him. You can't believe how difficult it was for me to keep my mouth shut when the other team scored (and won!)

4. I made a Latte (decaf, skinny, Grande, extra shot) for Vice President Dick Cheney. Actually I made two, but his dummy of an assistant dropped the first one so I had to remake it.

5. I was drunk at the Melbourne Cup a few years back and a TV cameraman said that If I jumped up and down at the end of the race, just like I had won a shitload of money, he would get me on TV. So I did. Not only was I on TV, but the TV station used my drunken mug on a TV commercial called "Faces of Melbourne" which aired for about 4 months!

5 and a half - my dad went to school with Ringo Starr (when he was simply Richard Starkey)

lairdside

I bet RG is wearing them as we speak..........

Rockgurl

Heh heh

BlueScottyGirl

1. When I was three I stuck a nappy pin in my baby sister to see if it would make her cry....It did!

2. The night I lost my virginity we got caught, by his mum. She offered us a hot drink before he walked me home.

3. I'm an aspiring writer, I've got three books written in my head but haven't written down more than a page of each.

4. I play the bagpipes.

5. I've been in the News of the World and on This Morning with Richard and Judy (among others but those two are the cringy ones)