geordiegirl2

Last year at this time someone posted quick comebacks to all the smartarse comments we get at this time of year, I can't find it through the search engine anyone help?

TN-Dave

Quick comebacks for what ? Oh.. you mean that day we got fed up with running this place and left them to it ? OK....

ladyofthelake

Funnily enough it has the same title.

July 4th comebacks

Rompers

Potted American History


In the 15th Century, an Italian navigator headed west with the intention of discovering a western route to the riches of the Indies. Slightly to his surprise, he discovered a number of islands in the Caribbean and, eventually, mainland America. Over the next hundred and fifty years, using various ruses, Britain, France, Spain and Portugal, managed to unload many of their undesirables in this direction until eventually a number of sizeable colonies were established. In the course of time, the Colonists realised that they had been scammed and, in a hissy fit, revolted. After putting up a token resistance, but secretly glad to be rid of them, Britain abandoned a big chunk of it's North American Colonies and left them in the care of Uncle Festus and his banjo playing, tobacco chewing sons and daughters, to let incest take its course. Those of taste and decency kept the northern part of the continent, but allowed the French to hang around so as not to make everyone else too jealous.
With some prompting from various French and British do gooders, these former Colonies eventually adopted a Constitution featuring equality and justice for all - unless you happened to be a female, black or a native American Indian...
In the early 1800's (1812) they decided that they would try a land grab, and under the pretext of complaining about deserting sailors getting lifted by the Regulators, decided to invade the decent chaps up north. Having burned a town or two in the middle of winter (obviously they had to burn the town in order to save it), and having been held to a draw by the local TA (the Regular Army were busy with some short dictator who had conquered all of Europe, and was being faced alone by Britain... hold on, where have I heard that before...) and achieved none of the war aims, they claimed to have won and signed an armistice.
The fact that Britain had taken time off from defeating dictators, landed at their capital, given the defenders a kicking, eaten the President's victory banquet, and torched his house so that he had to redecorate in a fetching shade of white had nothing to do with it. The fact that they still teach that it was somehow a victory (or at least a draw) is proof that the White House has had good spin doctors for the past two hundred years. The fact that they thought that the Canadians would welcome them with open arms, and bless them for their liberation from the evil empire, is similar proof that the CIA hasn't improved much either.


(sent by a friend)

gsnichol

You could annoy Republicans by telling them it was the French wot won it for them...

geordiegirl2

Thanks for that, I did put that in to search honest

Warrington Wolf

I'm asked quite frequently (and smugly) how do you Brits feel about losing the war of independence, so I ask them 'how does it feel to have been bankrolled by the French'. Boy, does that wipe the smile off their face!

Rompers

Ask them to name one war they have managed to win without British or French assistance.