cebrUS

I’m moving from the UK to the US with my two daughters who are currently in year 8 (13) and year 10 (15). I’ll be moving over as a result of marrying an American, not a job related relo.

Both girls would finish up the year they are in and - depending on my visa progress - would join a US high school anytime from Sept 2023 to Jan 2024. I've done some research and know that it’s going to be challenging to move them at this point in their schooling. So, I was wondering if anyone had experience of successfully relocating with kids of this age and had any advice.

I had thought that potentially I move them over and get them into a U.S. high school, but have them move down a grade to help give them the opportunity to catch up. Or, I try to find a solution where my year 10 daughter finishes off her GCSEs and potentially ALevels in the uk (perhaps with my ex husband).

any thoughts or experience would be greatly appreciated. I’ve no idea what to do.

christmasoompa

Hi, welcome to BE.

Lots of threads that would be worth hunting for, here's one to get you started - Relocating from UK to USA with 16 and 14

If your eldest is in Yr 10 now, then timing will be critical and you need to get cracking - it's possible that she'll already be in Year 12 and have A Levels underway when you move, so ideally you want to try and go between her GCSE's and A Levels starting, but that would mean getting starting the process now really to be in with a chance of that happening.

I'm moving myself in a couple of months with a 16 year old, just about to do his GCSE's. To be completely honest, I wouldn't be moving if he had to go in to a local school and the US system, but he'll be going to a British School to minimise disruption to his education. No idea if that's possible for you, if not then it might be worth looking at the IB system? Much more transferable between the two countries and your eldest could do the IB Diploma instead of A Levels if you can get her there in time to start. But there's loads of good advice in that thread, and others, so grab a cuppa and get reading.

Best of luck.

penguinsix

Hi and welcome.

I think one of the first questions, especially for the older one, would be what are your university intentions? US or UK?

We have a couple of primers on education in the WIKI

https://britishexpats.com/wiki/Educa...s_in_school%3F
https://britishexpats.com/wiki/Educa...ity_in_the_USA

PetrifiedExPat

I used to have a stead fast view that keeping kids in the UK is the only sensible option, however, Brexit has wobbled that view.

Since they are both close to the critical 16-18 timeframe, I would lean towards them staying with the ex and applying for colleges in the US if prudent.

Scout out the US schools in your intended area, geography makes a huge difference.

I am still pretty entrenched, but not as much

Pulaski

If you can get the younger one over to the US in time to start high school, typically when she's 14, that should make for a relatively easy transition.

The older one would, IMO be best served by staying in the UK to complete A levels, if that is a practical option. She could still be included on your PR application, and then file the form for being a PR out of the US for educational purposes.

Universities in both the US and UK now both commonly accept students from "the other country", so which country they complete high school in shouldn't substantially impact their choice of university.

PetrifiedExPat

100%, either way travel after completion of high school (or sec. school) is extremely smooth these days.

Glasgow Girl

You need to look at the complete picture, not just schooling. If you leave your kids with your ex, when they finish school they may well decide that they want to remain in the UK even if the original intent was to come to the US. The pull of friendships and familiarity with the UK versus the unknown of the US may well sway them to stay in the UK long term. If schooling is the highest priority, and you and your kids can manage the uncertainty of the next few years of living in different countries and being unsure of the future then you probably should leave them in the UK. If you want to balance family life with schooling then I would bring them with you. If they intend to live in the US long term then the sooner they normalize into US culture the better off they will be as young adults.

I would not put them back a grade. You may well find that they are academically ahead of US kids in general although they will have catch up to do in US specific subjects like civics and US history. Most schools will work with you to close that gap which won’t be hard for them. The younger one will fit in just fine and the older one will fit in over time but will obviously have more of a challenge. If she is averagely social for her age she will find her way and unless she has academic issues she should perform as well as her US peers. It won’t be plain sailing but she will get there. If you could get them into school at the start of the school year that would be best, but if not moving until September you will likely miss that opportunity. The next best time would be at the start of whatever term is next after they arrive. Perhaps you could talk to the school district about online classes that they could take prior to starting in the US school system to bridge the gap in US history and civics so that they are up to speed when they start.

If you can I would try and get them over here for the summer (if that is allowed while your visa is processing) and have them sign up for some local clubs. That would enable them to make some friends and have contacts before they move permanently and perhaps ease the transition. There may be local online clubs that they could join as well while they are in the UK. Perhaps the US school would pair them up with some existing kids that would be happy to act as an ambassador online and help them make the transition.

Like i said, consider the complete picture. Academic performance is important but so is family life and assimilating into the culture in which they will spend the rest of their, lives. If your kids are academically gifted and motivated they will succeed no matter what decision you make, if not they will probably benefit from moving over here sooner than later. Deep down you probably already know what the right decision is, trust your gut. There is no right or wrong answer.

cebrUS

Thank you everyone for your help!

Pulaski

Visiting the US while you have a visa in process is definitely allowed.

There is a very common myth circulating that you cannot visit while a visa is in process, but that is absolutely not true!

S Folinsky

Some general observations based upon experience of a retired immigration lawyer.

First, processing times are estimates. Repeat, they are just estimates. The only timeline that really counts are your individual cases after hey are completed. Recall the internet acronym of “YMMV”.

You and your children will have what are three separate cases. Although they wii likely be processed together, that does not always happen. When I was a very young lawyer with a full head of brown hair I processed a case for two children who were identical twins. The applications were identical, filed at the same time, prepared by the same lawyer. One I-130 was approved in under a month. The other was met with deafening silence until we received a Request For Evidence nine months later.

As for your younger daughter, if you naturalize as a U.S. citizen, she obtains a green card, andshe has yet to reach age 18, she will have derivative US naturalization.

Pulaski

I can't help but wonder if, back when you were a young man and computers were not a dominant factor in document processing, when two forms that had arrived together, for someone with the same DOB, address, and parents, and all biographic data other than given names, the second form had been accidentally dismissed as duplicate?

S Folinsky

At the time, Service Centers had yet to exist and I-130’s were filed in local district offices and usually adjudicated there. In the case of those two twins, a bunch of files were shipped out for remote adjudication to the port of entry in Skagway to sit in a box until winter put an end to seasonal inspections. When I received that RFE, I decided to inquire by long distance telephone. The person who answered stated “US Customs Service.” I apologize that I was trying to reach Immigration & Naturalization (this was long before creation of DHS and concomitant unification of inspections). Gentleman goes”wait a moment”and then calls out “Ernie, phone call for you.” Ernie was quite helpful.

i’m not all that sure computerization helps all that much. Errors in data entry are not uncommon.

Pulaski

In my experience, that is definitely the case, and files still get lost, just in different ways.

Glasgow Girl

My green card processing bounced between two regional offices for almost two years because I lived in one region and worked in another. My file would take 2 or 3 months to get to the top of the pile in one office whereupon they would promptly transfer it to the other office without doing anything. Two or three months later, that other office would transfer it straight back to the first office without doing anything else, and so it went on. A total nightmare to get them to actually do something with the case.