What's the matter with this effing country?? / Tribulations of the spouses
#46
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Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 302
Re: What's the matter with this effing country?? / Tribulations of the spouses
I think it can really vary. When I lived in an apt complex with mostly retired people and single naval officers, it was most like community. If I knocked on a door they would invite me in. They knew my name, and everyone's business. I was one of the few people with children there.
When I was preparing to travel to see my ill father, my neighbors (retired couple) took my son to lunch and then to Walmart to buy things I needed while I packed. They fed our cats while we were away. On the way to the airport they offered me a $300 loan so I would have some cash on me. I felt like the older people were nosy at first but I see it was their way of being friendly (sort of) now.
This area we live in now has tons of druggies. The guy downstairs has scary folks in and out 24/7. I wouldn't answer if it was PCH!
When I was preparing to travel to see my ill father, my neighbors (retired couple) took my son to lunch and then to Walmart to buy things I needed while I packed. They fed our cats while we were away. On the way to the airport they offered me a $300 loan so I would have some cash on me. I felt like the older people were nosy at first but I see it was their way of being friendly (sort of) now.
This area we live in now has tons of druggies. The guy downstairs has scary folks in and out 24/7. I wouldn't answer if it was PCH!
Last edited by tuxedocat; Nov 28th 2012 at 10:58 pm.
#47
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Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,065
Re: What's the matter with this effing country?? / Tribulations of the spouses
I freaked out, when staying in a friend's apartment in NY, and somebody banged on the door saying "Exterminator!"-
I expected to see Shwarznegger with a gun at the door. I didn't answer and he kept pounding for several minutes. Terrifying!
I expected to see Shwarznegger with a gun at the door. I didn't answer and he kept pounding for several minutes. Terrifying!
#48
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Joined: Aug 2012
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Re: What's the matter with this effing country?? / Tribulations of the spouses
wish i hadnt read this thread ,my fiance and i are getting married next year when i get the visa and im moving to Maryland,but i had noticed that 'friends' there are not the same as my 'friends' here in yorkshire ! for example we were coming home from the Mall on my last visit and we passed near to the home of a couple she is friends with,(allegedly) i said are we going to call in for a coffee ? my fiance said we cant do that here,its not england,i insisted and said at home we would call in or they would say why didnt you call in for coffee? i said why not here ? she relented and we called,we rang the bell and hubby answered the door,we stood there he stood there,i said Hi we were passing and thought we would call in,he then invited us in,they seemed nervous and confused by us being there,we sat and did small talk for 20 mins with no one putting the kettle on,so we left,my fiance said see i told you so ,i was in shock,or the time she had to work and i went collecting fallen wood for the stove from the woods nearby,she went mad and asked if i was crazy,people get shot for trespassing she says etc etc,and did i watch out for copperheads when in amongst the dead wood ?? whats a copperhead i says ???
copperhead = snake
#49
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Re: What's the matter with this effing country?? / Tribulations of the spouses
LOL! Most apartments give 24 hour written notices.
#50
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Location: UK-Indonesia-US
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Re: What's the matter with this effing country?? / Tribulations of the spouses
I share this partly to vent my spleen (cathartic) and partly as a commentary for those of you contemplating a move to the US for work reasons, and bringing family...
I'm away on business, 17 hrs by plane, no chance to hurry back quick etc.
SWMBO leaves the house as usual, driving the car out of the garage, closing the door remotely.
She comes back and the remote door opener has died - mechanical failure of the switch, we later determine.
Anyway, she's now locked out of the house.
After trying the obvious things, she goes to 3 neighbours, none of whom answered the door even though they were in. She goes to a fourth neighbour who is working in their garage, and so Mrs HTS is able to talk to them. She explains what has happened and asked if the neighbour could help her push in the door or get her over the back gate. The neighbour refuses and tells Mrs HTS to get a lock smith, and to 'have a nice day'....!!!
Well I'm sorry - where we come from you help somebody out, not tell them to phone a lock smith and 'have a nice day'.
So a pretty peeved Mrs HTS manages to find a concrete brick as a step to get herself over the back gate - tearing some muscles around her ribs - she's only just got the last one mended (another story...!), so now in some severe discomfort she's in to the back yard, where thankfully (!) she discovered she hadn't bolted the back door and so was able to get in to the house - by this time it was getting dark.
So that's is one VERY pissed Mrs HTS. She's not had the easiest of times here with health and no luck in getting a job. Parents back home have been ill. All her friends etc are back home and she really has no support network here. So it's very understandable when I phone from Tokyo just now on my regular "hi honey" call, she lost it. And you can only say "I want to go back home" so many times before it stops just being something that is said in the heat of things and becomes a real, strong desire.
So if you are thinking of coming out here, take care of as much medical stuff back home on the NHS as you can, because leaving it to get done out here will sap your finances, the same finances you would use for doing things of a fun/entertaining/relaxing nature... and make sure you negotiate for your employer to pay all your big costs for the first few months after you move, and a whole host of other little niggles that can come as a surprise and knock you back a little.
My employer is good on many fronts, but can be stingy in other areas. And it could be false economy because if Mrs HTS wants to go home, we go home, and my employer will have to put on hold what my team and I are doing right now, recruit a replacement, and pay the market rates for that, plus the impact of delays, of getting a new person up to speed etc etc etc
Aaargghhhh!!
Sorry - just needed to vent - it's about all I can do right now, nearly 7000 miles from a very peeved Mrs HTS. And from 4 neighbours who, right now I wouldn't piss on if they were on fire
At least I'll be home Weds night, we have an invite to a work colleague's home for Thanksgiving Dinner, which we know we'll enjoy, and I have time off work until 3 Dec - time to 'decompress'
Normal service will be resumed shortly, I am sure.
I'm away on business, 17 hrs by plane, no chance to hurry back quick etc.
SWMBO leaves the house as usual, driving the car out of the garage, closing the door remotely.
She comes back and the remote door opener has died - mechanical failure of the switch, we later determine.
Anyway, she's now locked out of the house.
After trying the obvious things, she goes to 3 neighbours, none of whom answered the door even though they were in. She goes to a fourth neighbour who is working in their garage, and so Mrs HTS is able to talk to them. She explains what has happened and asked if the neighbour could help her push in the door or get her over the back gate. The neighbour refuses and tells Mrs HTS to get a lock smith, and to 'have a nice day'....!!!
Well I'm sorry - where we come from you help somebody out, not tell them to phone a lock smith and 'have a nice day'.
So a pretty peeved Mrs HTS manages to find a concrete brick as a step to get herself over the back gate - tearing some muscles around her ribs - she's only just got the last one mended (another story...!), so now in some severe discomfort she's in to the back yard, where thankfully (!) she discovered she hadn't bolted the back door and so was able to get in to the house - by this time it was getting dark.
So that's is one VERY pissed Mrs HTS. She's not had the easiest of times here with health and no luck in getting a job. Parents back home have been ill. All her friends etc are back home and she really has no support network here. So it's very understandable when I phone from Tokyo just now on my regular "hi honey" call, she lost it. And you can only say "I want to go back home" so many times before it stops just being something that is said in the heat of things and becomes a real, strong desire.
So if you are thinking of coming out here, take care of as much medical stuff back home on the NHS as you can, because leaving it to get done out here will sap your finances, the same finances you would use for doing things of a fun/entertaining/relaxing nature... and make sure you negotiate for your employer to pay all your big costs for the first few months after you move, and a whole host of other little niggles that can come as a surprise and knock you back a little.
My employer is good on many fronts, but can be stingy in other areas. And it could be false economy because if Mrs HTS wants to go home, we go home, and my employer will have to put on hold what my team and I are doing right now, recruit a replacement, and pay the market rates for that, plus the impact of delays, of getting a new person up to speed etc etc etc
Aaargghhhh!!
Sorry - just needed to vent - it's about all I can do right now, nearly 7000 miles from a very peeved Mrs HTS. And from 4 neighbours who, right now I wouldn't piss on if they were on fire
At least I'll be home Weds night, we have an invite to a work colleague's home for Thanksgiving Dinner, which we know we'll enjoy, and I have time off work until 3 Dec - time to 'decompress'
Normal service will be resumed shortly, I am sure.
#51
Re: What's the matter with this effing country?? / Tribulations of the spouses
On the flip side, the first day we arrived and I walked the 500 yards to the supermarket near the serviced apartment, I was walking back with about 10 bags of shopping - there was some heavy stuff in there. A woman stopped her car and asked me if I needed a lift as my stuff was heavy. I declined, but purely as I was only about 200 yards from the complex at that point. It was on a busy road, during the day, so there was nothing freaky about it - just considerate. So they are not all bad!
#52
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Joined: Jun 2010
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Re: What's the matter with this effing country?? / Tribulations of the spouses
On the flip side, the first day we arrived and I walked the 500 yards to the supermarket near the serviced apartment, I was walking back with about 10 bags of shopping - there was some heavy stuff in there. A woman stopped her car and asked me if I needed a lift as my stuff was heavy. I declined, but purely as I was only about 200 yards from the complex at that point. It was on a busy road, during the day, so there was nothing freaky about it - just considerate. So they are not all bad!
There are plenty of knob heads back home too... It's just that shit seems to come in 3s, and these groups of 3s seem to come in 3s...
#53
Re: What's the matter with this effing country?? / Tribulations of the spouses
In my experience there are sometimes as large a social and custom differences between the north and the south as with the country across the pond .... (yes, I wrote that ambiguously because it is true in both the UK and the US.)
#54
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Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,065
Re: What's the matter with this effing country?? / Tribulations of the spouses
It's not just America - when I was a child my parents moved from Yorkshire to the SW of England and immediately noticed that friends and neighbors never just "popped in for a cuppa". Later I lived in London for 15 years, and there also people never seemed to do casual drop-in visits.
In my experience there are sometimes as large a social and custom differences between the north and the south as with the country across the pond .... (yes, I wrote that ambiguously because it is true in both the UK and the US.)
In my experience there are sometimes as large a social and custom differences between the north and the south as with the country across the pond .... (yes, I wrote that ambiguously because it is true in both the UK and the US.)
#55
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Joined: Oct 2007
Location: Charlotte,NC
Posts: 1,717
Re: What's the matter with this effing country?? / Tribulations of the spouses
On the flip side, the first day we arrived and I walked the 500 yards to the supermarket near the serviced apartment, I was walking back with about 10 bags of shopping - there was some heavy stuff in there. A woman stopped her car and asked me if I needed a lift as my stuff was heavy. I declined, but purely as I was only about 200 yards from the complex at that point. It was on a busy road, during the day, so there was nothing freaky about it - just considerate. So they are not all bad!
#56
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Posts: 1,065
Re: What's the matter with this effing country?? / Tribulations of the spouses
On my first visit to Miami about 15 years ago, a woman stopped and asked me if I wanted a ride (I now know that it is unusual for people to walk more than 500 yards), so as it was so hot, I said yes - she dropped me where I was going and as I got out of the car, flashed me an evil grin and said something along the lines of "young lady, never accept rides from strangers, I could have abducted you, molested you and you'd never have seen your family again"
#57
Re: What's the matter with this effing country?? / Tribulations of the spouses
I was raised that you never just went to someone's home without calling first to see if they were home, available, it was convenient, etc. or being invited. To do so is considered rude.
Last edited by Rete; Nov 29th 2012 at 7:55 pm.
#58
Re: What's the matter with this effing country?? / Tribulations of the spouses
On my first visit to Miami about 15 years ago, a woman stopped and asked me if I wanted a ride (I now know that it is unusual for people to walk more than 500 yards), so as it was so hot, I said yes - she dropped me where I was going and as I got out of the car, flashed me an evil grin and said something along the lines of "young lady, never accept rides from strangers, I could have abducted you, molested you and you'd never have seen your family again"
#59
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Re: What's the matter with this effing country?? / Tribulations of the spouses
#60
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Re: What's the matter with this effing country?? / Tribulations of the spouses