nicola phillips

Oh god someone please help me Im really tearing my hair out with worry. I dont know if Im sending this to the right catagory I have just signed up today.
My situation is... Im married here in the UK and have lived here all my life. I am currently going threw a divorce. I have a boyfriend who is an american and living in america. We have known each other two years but our relationship started just over a year ago.

We have met several times.. Ive been to america twice and hes been here to the UK twice and coming back very soon. We love each other very very much and want to be together. Leaving each other is becoming more heartbreaking each time.

Ive been sent visa forms that have terrified us!!!.. see this is my situation. I am here on my own in the Uk with three children, my youngest is six. I am on all benefits. The forms say I can not be on benefits if I want him to come over as my fiancee or my husband. Even if I got a job.. no job is going outway what the uk family tax credit give you. So if I get a job Im still going to get tax credit benefit no matter what. Plus.. with haveing to pick my six year old up at 3pm each day I might only get part time work.

Im scared. Im really frightened that they will stop us from being together. Will they look at our case and see that Im working and maybe take that tax credit into consideration. He wants to work once he is here. We were told as soon as we are married that he can work but there we go again... that has confused us.... where do we get married... here or america??? Ive been on every sight possible we are desperate. When he does apply he wont have savings that say he can accomodate me and the three kids and I will no matter what be on some kind of benefit especially with having three kids. Help me please... will they stop us ever being together because of this???????????????/

Jennie2003

Hi Nicola,

I really feel for you because you are in a very difficult situation. Unfortunately, There is no getting around the fact that you would have to come off benefits if he were to come on a visa with the intention of marrying you. If you think that you can't make it with you working part time and him working full time, have you considered moving to America? I know you've probably thought of it already and may have reasons for not wanting to but I can't think of anything else to suggest.

darrenb

The last poster was right, There is no way the British IND will issue a Fiancee or Marriage Visa to someone who cannot support their immigrant spouse without recourse to public funds. When I bought my fiancee back from the US I had to supply employment contract, 3 months of wage slips, confirmation that I could provide a suitable home for her along with the four hundred some dollar issuing fee!

If you American BF has a solid background, with a decent job, no criminal records, isnt on welfare/benefits etc there may be hope for you to go to the US. IF not you really are screwed. Even of he is all of the above be prepare to wait a whole long time to get your visas. Also be aware that the visas are anything but free and the application proces is anything but easy! You think the British Immigration system is complicated? You aint seen nothing!

Sorry, thats just the way it is. Ive been fighting this for the last 3 years on and off so can speak from experience!

Good Luck

D

Visa Office

Dear Nicola:

Sorry to hear your plight! I hope that we can perhaps help you both.

We'll need to determine first of all whether it is your intention to go and live in the US or for your boyfriend to come and live over in the UK?

My company assists with UK Immigration Law, our advice is free. You can see our website at www.visa-office.com and you can email me directly at [email protected]

We look forward to hearing from you.

Andy_Hanrahan

Dear Nicole,

I sympathise with your situation & the separation that you & your BF find yourselves in. Before you start concerning yourself with your economic situation, you need a plan of action. Your situation will not change on its own & you have to make life happen for you.

First of all, you need to ask yourself what it is you really want. Write it down. Do you want to move yourself & your children to the US? This goes way beyond your wanting to be with your boyfriend. If so, before considering anything else, would their father agree to your taking them permanently out of the country? You may have to have a court order to support his approval. Would you be willing to get this? If the answer to this is no, then your choices are limited to your BF moving here. If you still want to move to the US then you need to get serious; gather as much information as possible about doing this - all the visa classes you might or could qualify for, schools, healthcare, banking. How much will it cost? Get a file & think of this as your job and set yourself a "to do" list every day & a target date for getting all this information together, say 3 weeks. Search the net, get the application forms for the visas you might qualify for to see what information is required. In any event, the least you will need is birth & marriage cert plus papers in regard to your separation / divorce. If you do go, you will need money & to be of good character. You need to ask yourself if you also want to be 3,000 miles away from friends & family & be financially dependent on your boyfriend. You might think it a wise idea to get yourself to a place where you are financially independent before you start to make life changing plans for yourself & your children. I am not being judgemental, I am a firm believer in taking responsibility for yourself & your little family as you never know what life may throw at you. You may be on your own but you still have the power to change your situation. Discuss it with your children.

If your BF decides that he will move here, then he needs to gather all the info & you need to work out a plan of action for fulfilling that criteria. The immigration department are not out to get you, the same rules apply to everybody & you just have to accept that that is what you need to do. It is not an easy road to follow & your relationship will need to be strong. in the meantime, does your BF work for an international company? Any chance of him getting transferred? Could this be a route he could investigate? I don't think it matters where you get married. Could he just come here on a holiday visa & do it. Unfortunately, it won't mean he can stay here but it will change the visa process & category wherever you decide to live. You will need to gather evidence of your relationship. Start now.

I am not an immigration agent but I have been through the emmigration process. It has taken me 6yrs to qualify to move to Australia- last week we got our visas. I am willing to share information & ideas with you but you have to be prepared to do what it takes & stop thinking about what you can't do.

This is possible. It just takes planning, time & the will to want to do it.

Siobhan

Stan J

Just a thought ... would your boyfriend be entitled to any other EU Passport, like say an Irish one?