jackuk

This may sound odd to you guys abroad, but surely being away from the uk is must be great for some, with regards to not having to see those relatives you would rather not see.
I have never got on with my sibling and have never been close...and yet , as we all live only 10 minutes apart, there is a three line whip from my parents for a Christmas get together, this is another reason I thought about getting away.

If only to avoid having to do the fake happy Christmas greeting and all that nonsense with extended family , I only go to please my parents and I always go and see them on a separate day too, but other than my parents I wouldn't miss any of them and 12, 000 miles apart would just be about right...oh how I envy you

islandergirl

No one can get under your skin like a sibling can...

However you would be surprised if you ever moved out here, even the people that shit you to tears are still YOUR people. And you know what you have to replace your family when you get to Aus - NOTHING.

Don't get me wrong, you will make friends, but it takes a long time, particularly once you are over a certain age say 25 and can't go out clubbing and enjoying yourselves. Older Aussies tend to be more homebody types and go to bed pretty early.

jackuk

You have given me a thought I did not have before Islandergirl, in my attempt to escape my relatives, I would also be leaving here some very nice friends that I would miss

islandergirl

Yeah there is no substitute for years of friendship, it can't be replaced.

And as dear as my Aussie friends are, I can't for example play "remember when" with them, as their experiences were different growing up, they say Mr Squiggle I say Keith Chegwin...

Eventually you do build up a network, and you do have stories to talk about but it takes more like years to get there.

jackuk

I agree "there is no substitute for years of friendship" I went to see a old retired work friend of mine today , he is 35 years older that me, but we worked together for 10 years, a bit like father and son, although we never really socialized we became close, I go to see him every couple of months, and I can see how pleased he is to see me, and this time last year he was very ill and I was close to tears when I saw him, thankfully he has made a reasonable recovery

Mummy in the foothills

To avoid unwelcome relatives I think it'd be cheaper to book a Christmas break of some sort.
I never really got along with my sister, she and Mom never got along either (Mom and I do well) I move 5000 miles away suddenly sister is responsible and gets on with Mom. Now she's moved away and left Mom alone. I'm ready to go back

Merseygirl

So true, you cannot replace those sort of friendships here, that was one of the biggest shocks for me. You cannot reminisce with an Aussie as their upbringing has been very different to yours in a lot of cases and you just can't relate.
However, I did once work with a woman here in Oz who liked the Wombles when she was a kid:

islandergirl

Yep there is always the culture gap, it takes some years of shared experiences before you can start to bridge that.

I will never get the Jimmy Barnes/John Farnham thing, doesn't matter how long I live here.

Also some of my relatives are friends too, I would still hang about with them even if we weren't related...

backagen

Family is one thing, and for lots of reasons they can make life difficult whether you love them or hate them!

On the subject of friends though, even if you emigrate and stay in your adopted country for 50 years you cannot ever replace friends you've known since childhood.

When I was back in UK this May I caught up with a friend from school (as I always do when I go back) and just being able to talk about my school days and know that he actually understands and knows about the people and places and experiences I was referring to, and also talking about English things and doing English things and remembering what life in general was like when we were both kids.

I have a few quite good friends here but it's nothing like the same and never could be.

The other thing that seems to be different in my experience (although I guess it wouldn't always be for everyone) is that I can be away from Britain for a year or more, and sometimes when I go back for a visit I may not get round to seeing all my UK friends, but it doesn't matter if I haven't seen them for literally years they instantly accept me as a friend when I do see them and it's just like old times.

Here in Australia, if I don't see or talk to a friend for more than a few weeks, there's an awkward feeling on their part when I do see them again, and if I don't see them for more than a few months I may as well be a complete stranger as far as they're concerned.

It just seems that relationships here are very superficial and short term.

Bevm

As you're willing to think about moving around the world, can't you just move across the UK? You can probably come up with a reason to avoid Christmas with the parents then.

Or use the idea of a traditional Christmas holiday far, far away.

I agree that Christmas can be stressful because so many people have expectations of what that one day will be. You might find that others will be secretly relieved if you break the cycle. It is just a day and we can be with those we truly enjoy on another day just as well. We've done that when Christmas togetherness has been impossible due to work commitments and distances.

Bev

Irish Guinness

They will all come and visit you when you move 12,000 miles away
most likely at Christmas

jackuk

Heck !!! What a nightmare that would be...and not just for one day .......Boxing Day is this years "its great when we all get together " day Its times like this I could turn to drink, everything looks and seems nicer after a few drinks......so I hear...... but then drink loosens the tongue and.......