USAGypsies

Why does time fly when you don't want it to? I can hardly keep up with myself. We've got DS passport back from the Brit. Consulate, flights booked, suitcases half full, now we're busy getting everything else organised for his return. He's staying with my sister and her other half after all the too-ing and fro-ing and we hope his transition is as smooth as possible (he's 16 and going back to study for GCSE's).
I feel like this is a real.... I don't know, not exactly a turning point but more of 'a thrust into the future'. I know I'll be crying at the airport next week. I've never had more than 2 weeks away from DS and that was only once.
Anyway, this marks the next major move in our return to the UK. We are hoping if all goes well (and quick) we'll all be reunited in the UK by late summer... hopefully.

Will post how it all goes with the school (switching from USA to UK).

Bevm

Hugs. It's always tough when we have to send them off, even if it's to family care. He'll probably find it a great adventure, though. I hope so, and that you're together again soon.

Bev

bev1

Good luck and big hugs


We landed back in Uk last night but my 12 years old daughter went back on 7th Jan wth her nan and grandad

I was sad but couldn't cry becaue I hadn't seen her so happy since bofer we arrived here. Spoke to her every day and the joy in her voice was enough to make me feel happy

Good luck and hope you all together soon

Mummy in the foothills

Awww hug him tight and lots of kisses. Mine would be horrified (he's 15)
I'd love to send my Ds back to do his exams, but have promised him he can finish high school here and he's doing really well. So we wait.
I know if I had to send him back ahead of me I'd be crying buckets at the airport.

USAGypsies

Ahhh thanks ladies. I appreciate your comments

USAGypsies

Just sharing......
Just home from the airport. Watching DS's flight on the web.... been delayed 12 minutes so far which they'll probably make up.
Gutted. Absolutely gutted. Won't sleep tonight until I know he's safely there. Its worse somehow knowing he's still here on US soil at the boarding gate. Makes me want to drive back and get him!!!! Anyone else been through this? I'm sure there is.
The good thing of course is our son going back makes our return all that more real. We were already very focused on our return but now we're feeling really driven to get this thing going.
Roll on citship. I hope they hurry up. I wish we could have all gone home together.

Marmalade

Ah, it will all be just fine, it'll be such an adventure for him.

Have my fingers crossed that your citizenship gets taken care of asap

Jerseygirl

My daughter went to uni in Canada. I was in tears the first few times she boarded the plane. The first time she left I didn't/couldn't go in her room for about a month.

dewdrop

good luck to your DS and his new surroundings.

At least you have email and phones..to keep in touch!
I hope you are ALL reunited by the summer...best of luck to you all. xx

USAGypsies

Thanks Dewdrop and Marmalade. Jerseygirl, I totally empathise. This was much harder than I had thought.... and I had given it a lot of thought. I'd go as far as to say, physically painful. I don't think DH or I really knew how this part of our plan to return would affect us and I can say it's caused a real reality shift. Jerseygirl, I know what you mean about not being able to go into your daughters room. I purposely emptied my DS's sons room before he went just so I didn't really need to go in there after. Because we are leaving this house we can do this but in your position, I don't think I would have coped ver well at all. It's weird. It's like you've lost them in a way, but you have the relief knowing they are okay, even if you can not physically see or hold them.
My DH fell apart and I was not expecting that at all.... I had more thought he was going to throw a party or rather, throw himself on the sofa with a beer and say, thank god that's over for a while. My headstrong DH and teenage DS have had their moments.

An interesting thing that has surfaced right before my eyes since leaving the airport yeaterday is my DH's growing desire to go home. It has literally gotten stronger with each passing hour. It has totally engulfed him since waving our DS off and been fueled with our 3 year old coming straight back through the front door on our return to the house, going up to her room and filling her Dora suitcase with as many clothes and teddies as would fit and asking is our plane leaving tomorrow? On top of this, all the text messages and phone calls with our friends that collected him from Gatwick and then my family who drove and met our DS at the friends house and brought him back home for his family reunion..... I've never seen my DH with such dark circles under his eyes.... he's feeling it.

I am on full throttle, getting busy and every little step I make, just makes me feel better and closer to getting home and being all together again.

thanks for listening... hope it's interesting for you other returnee's too.

dingbat

That is exactly how I felt when I put my eldest on a plane to the UK. Even though I knew we would be with her within a year or two, it just about broke my heart. I sat in her bedroom and sobbed, as I packed her "bits" into shipping containers. Since then I have spent a fortune on her flights back and forth...lol

Jerseygirl

It does get easier...time is a great healer. At least you know the day when you'll be able to join him is getting closer and closer.

USAGypsies

I can relate to what you are saying dingbat and we do have a return for him in August, if we are still here ourselves.

But let me give you all an update and ask some advice.

I feel like I've been hit by a train.... no sleep last night worrying about DS flying, a rocky few days prior to him leaving and now this.... just a bit of recent history, my sister and I had talked about 'keep' money for my DS to live with her for the next 6 months prior to our booking his flight. I had a rough figure in mind and said I would work it out and we ended our conversation happily with me telling my sister I would make sure that DS did not cost her a penny and that all his expenses would be paid.... can't say fairer than that right? We did discuss one figure and I said I would give DS his allowance but she said 'no give it all to me and ill give him what he needs'. I didn't really say anything at the time but he's not a little baby - he'll be 17 soon and he doesn't want someone else organizing his own money for him. So I divided the figure that we had discussed and I worked out that she only need feed him and then we'd add extra for electric, water etc... he will have his own cell phone that we have given him the cash for and picked out online (he should pick that up tomorrow). He will be walking most places and he'll be covered by the NHS so know expensive health insurance etc... So we have also given him an allowance/pocket money.
Well her new man in her life (I say new but they've been together for about 18 months, their both in they are in their 50's and 'glad to have found love' the reason I say 'new' man is because prior to this she had been married for over 30 years, he's been married and divorced twice).... well her man is broke as a joke and basically saw our DS staying with them as a way of making a bit of money!!! I can't even get into what's happened today but in a nutshell, there have been a lot of text messages and phone calls, ignored messages on his part and more calls.... it's just so ridiculous I'm embarressed and really very ANGRY :curse: that DS's very first day with him in their care and I feel like I am being held ransom for more money because they are penniless! Come on! They are angry because they thought they were getting the whole amount and basically said I should not have given him his own allowance!!! Well all that tells me is that they were hoping to keep that for themselves and he would have been lucky to see a measly couple of quid from it. Our DS is like a wippet and to be honest I'm thinking he will cost them next to little anyway but out of decency and to acknowledge their financial position we did the right thing and I have a weekly mandate from our uk account to theirs. I spoke to my niece (daughter of my sister) and she said they have debt and were hoping that DS would show up today with a whole months money in advance so they could use it to pay towards that. Of course my sister didn't tell me any of this..... I'm so mad that we have entrusted our DS to her and now I'm wondering just how unstable the environment is for him with the debt/lack of income they have. My sister is a nurse working 3 days a week and refuses to work more days. Her man is a salesman making no money at the moment. She has been telling me how hard up they are and how 'times are hard' but hello I heard all this for years with her ex-husband and now I'm hearing it all over again with this man. There is a global recession, it's not just them that are having to work harder and cut back. We're working our arses off and selling everything to afford our return home. She doesn't acknowledge thatmany of us are poorer because of the recession and she seems to have been nominated by her man as the one to get them more money!!! I see no effort on his part and it's always her family, her friends and her work collegues that she goes to cap in hand. God, I'm SO mad!!!!

My reaction so far has been to bring DS back home because I'm so angry about this whole thing and neither DH or I are particularly over the moon that it's all about the money to my sisters man. We only sent him home to study for his GCSE's until we can get home. I don't want to mess with his head and we really want him to study there..... jeeeeaze family!!!!! Would you be angry about this? How would you deal with it?
My DH sent a message to put a stop to all the sillyness but we're worried to rock the boat too much for the sake of my sister and now for our DS.

If I had known we had this to look forward to, we wouldn't have allowed DS to go because he deserves better than that.

Out of interest, what do you folks think a reasonable amount would be per week or month to keep a lad under a roof and feed him? In pounds of course.

Thanks for letting me vent

Jerseygirl

This is a difficult one...you've trusted your sister with your most valuable possession and it appears she may have let you down. Without reading through your old posts...I take it you're in the US waiting for your cititzenship interview/oath ceremony...right? If so providing you've already met the number of days residency in the US...you could move back to the UK and return to the US for the interview/ceremony. You said earlier your son is returning now to study for the GCSEs...would he not be best starting at the beginning of the school year in Sept? In which case he could go back to the US and you could all return late summer...at which point you should be USCs be that time.

Edit: FWIW I would tell your sister you've already transferred the money to your son's account in the UK...maybe enough to last for several months.

USAGypsies

Re. the edit, he hasn't got his account set up yet. He should be getting one at the Abbey over the next week.

Can I ask you a few questions...... I didn't know we were allowed to leave during the naturalization process... I thought we had to stay in the US from filing to the end.... but now I'm thinking from your post that I have this wrong?
Isn't it possible that the interview date and the Oath date are not always on the same date? I'm thinking if we came back for our interviews and stayed in a hotel, it could be on the same day but even possibly weeks between the two? Am I wrong again?

The reason we sent him back to start school mid-term was so that he could be placed back to the beginning of the year. If we had DS start school in Sept they would not do this and send him straight into 6th Form level because he would be 17 at that point.