Nervousness

Old Aug 2nd 2002, 12:20 am
  #1  
Lisa Simmonds
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Default Nervousness

Heya,

I'm currently in the process of applying for the K-1, and we've decided that until my
fiance gets a job, we won't even bother filing.

Each time he goes for an interview, I get nervous and scared. Nervous for him getting
the job, and scared because it hits me that I'll be leaving everything I know here in
Australia, to up and move to America. I hardly know anyone, i already know its going
to be a complete culture shock to me. I can already tell I'll probably be scared to
go out in public for a while, and turn into a hermit for a bit.

It's very scary!!

Has anyone ever felt like this? scared about leaving everything you know to go to
another country? There are times where I feel like i'm the only one out there that
feels this way.

Any advice how to get through this, I'd be greatly appreciative.

-- Lisa
 
Old Aug 2nd 2002, 12:46 am
  #2  
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Default Re: Nervousness

Hi Lisa,

the thing to remember is you can always come home. Its not uncommon to get scared about these things, I don't think the USA will be much of a culture shock from Australia, Ok its not as laid back but the attitudes are still new world - the can do spirit and all that.

My Family emmigrated to Canada when I was 3 and she hated and came home after 2 years, if you hate it you can come home but at least give it some time (my mum normally makes instant decisions about everything so I was very surprised she listened to my dad and gave it a full 2 years before she made up her mind).

My wife wants to go back to America and because I love her I will follow her anywhere. She has been here (uk) 7 years and after quite a shaky start (understanding queues for one, and that there is no such thing as customer service) she adapted very well. Now she wants to go home and its my turn to adapt, but I am looking forward to it as much as a new country and a new beining petrifies me.

There are lots of expat groups in america, and Australia is very vogue in america at the moment (thanks to steve irwin, what would he say "Crikey mate, this is the scariest move in the world ever and what you don't want to do is poke it in the eye, like this..").

I wish you all the look in the world and there are hundreds of people on this forum who are about to, or have gone through the same things so you are not alone. Use this forum to share your fears, vent your anger (at the ins or real estate agents) as much as you want and you will get a hundred replies of support.

Oh and another thing - you can get vegimite in America
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Old Aug 2nd 2002, 12:48 am
  #3  
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Default Re: Nervousness

I did the same thing Lisa, I wasn't as far away as your (I'm from Canada), but the idea was the same, I sold almost everything I owned to move to a country where I only knew my fiancee. I, like you, was scared to death.

There is one piece of advice I can offer you. Take some time for yourself before you go, do some thinking. Think long and hard about your fiancee and if you really want to spend the rest of your life together. I'm betting you probably did this already, but if not, you need to do it. You are making a life changing decision based on your involvement with this person, you need to make sure that you are only going to need a one way ticket to the US.

If you have done this and are absolutely sure that you have made the right decision by moving, then I can say that the fact that you are going to be with your fiancee will help you in your nervousness. Being with that person will be all that you will need for the first few months, by that time you will be used to living here and starting to make friends.

I would not be scared to go out in public, if fact I would do it as much as I can as first. This should make you a little more comfortable living here. Generally the people are really nice here, you'll find that people will be interested in your Australian background, asking about differences between that and the US in certain things (like beer..:-).

Like I said, I was really nervous when I first came here too. But right now, hypothetically speaking, if it didn't work out with my wife, I would probably stay here anyway, its a beautiful place to live and work.

Hope this helps.

Jason
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Old Aug 2nd 2002, 12:58 am
  #4  
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Default Re: Nervousness

I think almost everyone on this forum can probably relate to your nervousness. I loved the place where I came from. In my case, I came to visit, got married, and stayed... no agonizing in the home country beforehand, LOL. I miss the beautiful island I came from, the ocean, and the small town life I enjoyed. All my belongings were packed up and stored away for me, my family photos have not even been sent down here yet. Maybe it has been easier this way! BUT people have been very nice to us here. We found a great church with really friendly people and that has helped too, as well as my husband's family being sensitive to my culture shock. Culture shock between Canada and the US? Sure. Even the culture shock between small town and city makes a difference. BUT we have a wonderful new marriage and blended family that makes this home. Everywhere you go there are nice people and miserable people; gravitate to the nice ones. Does your fiance know how you're feeling? If you're anywhere near Kentucky, you'll have a friend here
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Old Aug 2nd 2002, 1:20 am
  #5  
Dennis & Bonnie
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Default Re: Nervousness

Lisa I moved from Canada to be with Dennis in Florida, so my move was not as extreme
as yours will be, but it is hard to leave behind family and what is familiar. I am 44
and had never lived anywhere else. The area that I lived in Canada was very rural.
The closest town had one stop light. When I tell people that here in FL, they look at
me like I just fell off the 'tater wagon. It will take a while but you will adapt.
You aren't the only one to get that panicky feeling prior to moving...I am sure that
everyone who responds to your post will tell you that, including
me. Tell us where you are moving to. Maybe someone who has gone through the
experience already and is settled in can give you some insight about the area you
will be moving to. Bonnie FL Canuck "Lisa Simmonds" <[email protected]> wrote in
message news:[email protected]...
    > Heya,
    >
    > I'm currently in the process of applying for the K-1, and we've decided
that
    > until my fiance gets a job, we won't even bother filing.
    >
    > Each time he goes for an interview, I get nervous and scared. Nervous for him
    > getting the job, and scared because it hits me that I'll be leaving everything I
    > know here in Australia, to up and move to America. I hardly know anyone, i already
    > know its going to be a complete culture shock to
mf.
    > I can already tell I'll probably be scared to go out in public for a
while,
    > and turn into a hermit for a bit.
    >
    > It's very scary!!
    >
    > Has anyone ever felt like this? scared about leaving everything you know
to
    > go to another country? There are times where I feel like i'm the only one out there
    > that feels this way.
    >
    > Any advice how to get through this, I'd be greatly appreciative.
    >
    > -- Lisa
 
Old Aug 2nd 2002, 1:20 am
  #6  
Lisa Simmonds
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Posts: n/a
Default Re: Nervousness

see, thats the thing...

he's currently on the way to Maine, and if he gets that, we'll end up living in
Lewiston (think thats how you spell it), near Bates College.

If he doesn't get this job, its gonna be somewhere else, but we're both pretty
positive about this job.

"Dennis & Bonnie French" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
    : Lisa I moved from Canada to be with Dennis in Florida, so my move was not as
    : extreme as yours will be, but it is hard to leave behind family and what
is
    : familiar. I am 44 and had never lived anywhere else. The area that I lived in
    : Canada was very rural. The closest town had one stop light. When I tell people that
    : here in FL, they look at me like I
just
    : fell off the 'tater wagon. It will take a while but you will adapt. You aren't the
    : only one to get that panicky feeling prior to moving...I am sure that everyone who
    : responds to your post will tell you that, including
    : me. Tell us where you are moving to. Maybe someone who has gone through
the
    : experience already and is settled in can give you some insight about the area you
    : will be moving to. Bonnie FL Canuck "Lisa Simmonds" <[email protected]> wrote in
    : message news:[email protected]...
    : > Heya,
    : >
    : > I'm currently in the process of applying for the K-1, and we've decided
    : that
    : > until my fiance gets a job, we won't even bother filing.
    : >
    : > Each time he goes for an interview, I get nervous and scared. Nervous
for
    : > him getting the job, and scared because it hits me that I'll be leaving
    : > everything I know here in Australia, to up and move to America. I hardly know
    : > anyone, i already know its going to be a complete culture shock to
    : me.
    : > I can already tell I'll probably be scared to go out in public for a
    : while,
    : > and turn into a hermit for a bit.
    : >
    : > It's very scary!!
    : >
    : > Has anyone ever felt like this? scared about leaving everything you know
    : to
    : > go to another country? There are times where I feel like i'm the only
one
    : > out there that feels this way.
    : >
    : > Any advice how to get through this, I'd be greatly appreciative.
    : >
    : > -- Lisa
    : >
    : >
    : >
    :
    :
 
Old Aug 2nd 2002, 1:30 am
  #7  
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Default Re: Nervousness

Your almost doing the opposite to Bonnie, she moved from Snowy winters to nice year round climate and your going from Australia to Maine. THe good thing about maine is that it has the best lobster in the world. Where in Australia are you moving from because there are no real metropolisis in Maine (they call it vacationland you know!).

You may find it easier to adapt in New England, it is very friendly and the people are very nice indeed, my wifes father live in York beach in Maine and they are the greatest people if anyone is going to welcome you with open arms its the people of Maine.
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Old Aug 2nd 2002, 1:40 am
  #8  
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Default Re: Nervousness

Hi Lisa,

I just spoke to my wife and she thinks Lewiston is a great place to live, its out in sticks a bit and only slightly bigger than a one horse town so if your from Sydney you might get big city withdrawals. If you want to converse with a native New Englander my wife would be quite happy - hit the link and send me an email and she will reply (Ellen is my wifes name if you wish to address it to her).

Lewiston is a picture postcard town (and Bates College pushes out a lot of Doctors and Lawyers so if it doesn't work out with your current fiance you can always bag yourself a young doctor (only joking!)

Patrick
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Old Aug 2nd 2002, 3:44 am
  #9  
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Default Re: Nervousness

Lisa,
Yep, I (and everyone else) knows how your feelin ...
as if getting married isn't a big enough step to take moving to another country is just as frightening.
I'm moving from the UK, I got my K1 visa last month and have been worrying about "the move" for months already.
It's natural to feel this way honest, you've just gotta be sure this is the person you want to be with for the rest of your life, once that questions answered (and I'm sure it is) then you can, and will, overcome anything else.
You'll be fine, I've read the support people are giving you already on this site, there's alot of good people out there and I'm sure you'll find some whereever you end up living in the U.S. (some Americans can be quite nice you know A JOKE... HONEST)
Feel sorry for me, I've gotta move to Texas ... and I heard a rumour the other day that it doesnt rain every day, the sky's are blue (not grey) and it can get quite warm !!! I'm even thinkin about buyin a pair of shorts to take.
naaaaaah ! can't be true ! nowhere could be like that ?

Mate, getting married is an adventure, America will be an adventure, go for it, enjoy ... bein nervous is fine, you'll be fine.
Take care and good luck.
Rob.
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Old Aug 2nd 2002, 4:20 am
  #10  
Lisa Simmonds
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Default Re: Nervousness

I'm from the hick-town of perth, Western Australia (or so the eastern states people
seem to think), so I doubt i'll be suffering from withdrawals since the entire state
only has around 2 million, with 1.3 million living in perth and surrounding
suburbs...

and I hated sydney... it was too big for me

"Patrick" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
    : Your almost doing the opposite to Bonnie, she moved from Snowy winters to nice
    : year round climate and your going from Australia to Maine. THe good thing about
    : maine is that it has the best lobster in the world. Where in Australia are you
    : moving from because there are no real metropolisis in Maine (they call it
    : vacationland you know!).
    :
    : You may find it easier to adapt in New England, it is very friendly and the
    : people are very nice indeed, my wifes father live in York beach in Maine and they
    : are the greatest people if anyone is going to welcome you with open arms its the
    : people of Maine.
    :
    :
    :
    : --
    :
 
Old Aug 2nd 2002, 4:20 am
  #11  
Lisa Simmonds
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Default Re: Nervousness

I think long and hard about my fiance all the time...

And the more i think about him, the more I miss him. The more I love him and the more
I want to be with him. I contemplated all of that also when i went over in feb this
year. I stayed for two months, and when i left, it was heartbreak. just as it is now.
its hard being away from him. VERY hard in fact.

I am all things.. excited about being with him, nervous about being with him (i'm an
only child and i feel like i'd be neglecting my family here), and scared about
leaving everything I know and love here...

He said i could walk out of this any time i like... but knowing that I hurt him would
just tear me apart. funny to say, but i'm crying just saying that. leaving him in
dallas and coming back 'home' was one of the hardest things i could have done...

it was so tempting to not hop on that plane in dallas.. to stay... and never come
back here. but we decided that it would be the harder way... i was a day off my VW
expiring, so i needed to go. and as far as I am concerned, i could be on the next
plane over if i had the money to do so.

i guess i just want it over and done with. I hate waiting. and not knowing WHEN we
will be back together again is a killer. I've been tempted, when i've had my lows, to
end it, but i then realise how much i love him, and how much i want to be back with
him again - forever.

As for people being interested in australians - i know that.. in the three months i
was there, i got stopped many times... and generally the first thing people said to
me when i told them where i was from was "G'day mate!" got annoying after a while,
but it was funny.

thank you all for your kind words... its nice to know that there are people out there
that know exactly what i'm going through

-- Lisa

(attempting to stop crying now)

"Jason C" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
    : I did the same thing Lisa, I wasn't as far away as your (I'm from Canada), but the
    : idea was the same, I sold almost everything I owned to move to a country where I
    : only knew my fiancee. I, like you, was scared to death.
    :
    : There is one piece of advice I can offer you. Take some time for yourself before
    : you go, do some thinking. Think long and hard about your fiancee and if you really
    : want to spend the rest of your life together. I'm betting you probably did this
    : already, but if not, you need to do
    : it. You are making a life changing decision based on your involvement with this
    : person, you need to make sure that you are only going to need a one way ticket
    : to the US.
    :
    : If you have done this and are absolutely sure that you have made the right decision
    : by moving, then I can say that the fact that you are going to be with your fiancee
    : will help you in your nervousness. Being with that person will be all that you will
    : need for the first few months, by that time you will be used to living here and
    : starting to make friends.
    :
    : I would not be scared to go out in public, if fact I would do it as much as I can
    : as first. This should make you a little more comfortable living here. Generally the
    : people are really nice here, you'll find that people will be interested in your
    : Australian background, asking about differences between that and the US in certain
    : things (like beer...
    :
    : Like I said, I was really nervous when I first came here too. But right now,
    : hypothetically speaking, if it didn't work out with my wife, I would probably stay
    : here anyway, its a beautiful place to live and work.
    :
    : Hope this helps.
    :
    : Jason
    :
    :
    :
    : --
    :
 
Old Aug 2nd 2002, 4:20 am
  #12  
Lisa Simmonds
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: Nervousness

oh, my fiance knows how i'm feeling... I don't hide it... and he hates to see me like
this. he wants us to be together as much as I want to be together.

"Camerican" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
    : I think almost everyone on this forum can probably relate to your nervousness. I
    : loved the place where I came from. In my case, I came to visit, got married, and
    : stayed... no agonizing in the home country beforehand, LOL. I miss the beautiful
    : island I came from, the ocean, and the small town life I enjoyed. All my belongings
    : were packed up and stored away for me, my family photos have not even been sent
    : down here yet. Maybe it has been easier this way! BUT people have been very nice to
    : us here. We found a great church with really friendly people and that has helped
    : too, as well as my husband's family being sensitive to my culture shock. Culture
    : shock between Canada and the US? Sure. Even the culture shock between small town
    : and city makes a difference. BUT we have a wonderful new marriage and blended
    : family that makes this home. Everywhere you go there are nice people and miserable
    : people; gravitate to the nice ones. Does your fiance know how you're feeling? If
    : you're anywhere near Kentucky, you'll have a friend here
    :
    :
    :
    : --
    : Camerican Girl
    :
    : Posted via http://britishexpats.com
 
Old Aug 2nd 2002, 4:20 am
  #13  
Lisa Simmonds
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: Nervousness

eep... i mean three months...

"Lisa Simmonds" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
    : I think long and hard about my fiance all the time...
    :
    : And the more i think about him, the more I miss him. The more I love him
and
    : the more I want to be with him. I contemplated all of that also when i
went
    : over in feb this year. I stayed for two months, and when i left, it was heartbreak.
    : just as it is now. its hard being away from him. VERY hard in fact.
    :
    : I am all things.. excited about being with him, nervous about being with
him
    : (i'm an only child and i feel like i'd be neglecting my family here), and scared
    : about leaving everything I know and love here...
    :
    : He said i could walk out of this any time i like... but knowing that I
hurt
    : him would just tear me apart. funny to say, but i'm crying just saying
that.
    : leaving him in dallas and coming back 'home' was one of the hardest things
i
    : could have done...
    :
    : it was so tempting to not hop on that plane in dallas.. to stay... and
never
    : come back here. but we decided that it would be the harder way... i was a day off
    : my VW expiring, so i needed to go. and as far as I am concerned, i could be on the
    : next plane over if i had the money to do so.
    :
    : i guess i just want it over and done with. I hate waiting. and not knowing WHEN we
    : will be back together again is a killer. I've been tempted, when i've had my lows,
    : to end it, but i then realise how much i love him, and
how
    : much i want to be back with him again - forever.
    :
    : As for people being interested in australians - i know that.. in the three months i
    : was there, i got stopped many times... and generally the first thing people said to
    : me when i told them where i was from was "G'day
mate!"
    : got annoying after a while, but it was funny.
    :
    : thank you all for your kind words... its nice to know that there are
people
    : out there that know exactly what i'm going through
    :
    : -- Lisa
    :
    : (attempting to stop crying now)
    :
    :
    : "Jason C" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    : news:[email protected]...
    : : I did the same thing Lisa, I wasn't as far away as your (I'm from Canada), but
    : : the idea was the same, I sold almost everything I owned to move to a country
    : : where I only knew my fiancee. I, like you, was scared to death.
    : :
    : : There is one piece of advice I can offer you. Take some time for yourself before
    : : you go, do some thinking. Think long and hard about your fiancee and if you
    : : really want to spend the rest of your life together. I'm betting you probably did
    : : this already, but if not, you need to do
    : : it. You are making a life changing decision based on your involvement with this
    : : person, you need to make sure that you are only going to need a one way
    : : ticket to the US.
    : :
    : : If you have done this and are absolutely sure that you have made the right
    : : decision by moving, then I can say that the fact that you are going to be with
    : : your fiancee will help you in your nervousness. Being with that person will be
    : : all that you will need for the first few months, by that time you will be used to
    : : living here and starting to make friends.
    : :
    : : I would not be scared to go out in public, if fact I would do it as much as I can
    : : as first. This should make you a little more comfortable living here. Generally
    : : the people are really nice here, you'll find that people will be interested in
    : : your Australian background, asking about differences between that and the US in
    : : certain things (like beer...
    : :
    : : Like I said, I was really nervous when I first came here too. But right now,
    : : hypothetically speaking, if it didn't work out with my wife, I would probably
    : : stay here anyway, its a beautiful place to live and work.
    : :
    : : Hope this helps.
    : :
    : : Jason
    : :
    : :
    : :
    : : --
    : :
    :
    :
 
Old Aug 2nd 2002, 4:28 am
  #14  
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 65
Jason C is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: Nervousness

One more thing Lisa...

If I were you I would try and get employment authorization while on the K-1, even if you don't need it. Get a job, its a great way to meet new people.

Good luck on your move and I'm sure everything will work out just fine...:-)
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Old Aug 2nd 2002, 9:20 am
  #15  
Crunchy Tiger
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Posts: n/a
Default Re: Nervousness

I know Perth and Sydney, Main is somewhat like Perth, nice people, nice place; but it
is much colder. Because of the weather you will love your husband more hehe..you will
depress in winter time. Every autumn when the leaves fall, the geese fly south, I
miss my love in Sydney (it was years ago). Eat as much BBQ lamb as you can, you will
sorely miss it. OZ lamb is so juicy and tender.

"Lisa Simmonds" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
    > see, thats the thing...
    >
    > he's currently on the way to Maine, and if he gets that, we'll end up
living
    > in Lewiston (think thats how you spell it), near Bates College.
    >
    > If he doesn't get this job, its gonna be somewhere else, but we're both pretty
    > positive about this job.
    >
    >
    > "Dennis & Bonnie French" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    > news:[email protected]...
    > : Lisa I moved from Canada to be with Dennis in Florida, so my move was not as
    > : extreme as yours will be, but it is hard to leave behind family and what
    > is
    > : familiar. I am 44 and had never lived anywhere else. The area that I lived in
    > : Canada was very rural. The closest town had one stop light. When I tell people
    > : that here in FL, they look at me like I
    > just
    > : fell off the 'tater wagon. It will take a while but you will adapt. You aren't
    > : the only one to get that panicky feeling prior to moving...I
am
    > : sure that everyone who responds to your post will tell you that,
including
    > : me. Tell us where you are moving to. Maybe someone who has gone through
    > the
    > : experience already and is settled in can give you some insight about the area you
    > : will be moving to. Bonnie FL Canuck "Lisa Simmonds" <[email protected]> wrote in
    > : message news:[email protected]...
    > : > Heya,
    > : >
    > : > I'm currently in the process of applying for the K-1, and we've
decided
    > : that
    > : > until my fiance gets a job, we won't even bother filing.
    > : >
    > : > Each time he goes for an interview, I get nervous and scared. Nervous
    > for
    > : > him getting the job, and scared because it hits me that I'll be
leaving
    > : > everything I know here in Australia, to up and move to America. I
hardly
    > : > know anyone, i already know its going to be a complete culture shock
to
    > : me.
    > : > I can already tell I'll probably be scared to go out in public for a
    > : while,
    > : > and turn into a hermit for a bit.
    > : >
    > : > It's very scary!!
    > : >
    > : > Has anyone ever felt like this? scared about leaving everything you
know
    > : to
    > : > go to another country? There are times where I feel like i'm the only
    > one
    > : > out there that feels this way.
    > : >
    > : > Any advice how to get through this, I'd be greatly appreciative.
    > : >
    > : > -- Lisa
    > : >
    > : >
    > : >
    > :
    > :
 

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