mctraill

My OH lost his job a few months ago, he was really lucky and got a job very quickly. He moved back to the UK 5 weeks ago, leaving me here yet again to clean up the old life while he is living a new and the exciting life, he has a nice excutive 2 bedroom flat, a nice job with lots of challenges and the pub just at the end of his road, he is really happy...

I however as much as I have tried to keep a very positive attitude to going home, going back to family and my grandson, i confess to not wanting to go home. I have a life here, a very nice life, my chum had twins 3 years ago they have adopted me as their grand mother,I babysit these kids 3 times a week, so their mom can work, they call me grandma. I own a horse that I love dearly but he is to old to be travelling back home. I love the sunshine, the fact I can live in shorts and flip flops all year round, there is not one thing I want to go home for. I dont think I can go home, I have my own work visa that is up for renewal this year for another 3 years then I have to leave.

Is this just a phase do you think, time of the year, has anyone else felt this way..

ldyinlv

Everyone has to take their own path in life, you have to do what makes you happy, you dont get another chance..

Bermudashorts

Oh dear. Sounds like there was a conversation you needed to have before OH moved.

I am in Australia now, but before then I moved to Bermuda and back to UK aain. I really think you have to want to move back, I would have hated to be moving back when I didn't want to.

mctraill

Unfortunatley we didnt have an option the company my OH worked for ended his contract, we are ver here on H1b visa. My OH looked for jobs here and back home he got a really good job back home. I thought I could go back and get on with it, but now I am not so sure...

Bermudashorts

Ah ok. Well that is different then, I thought your dilemma was should I / shouldn't I go back to the UK. You have no choice, you are going to have to get one with it. Perhaps all you can do is hope that you can find another position in the US one day.

mctraill

I keep thinking its just the time of the year...but I dont think so...my OH bless him calls to tell me all about the pub and how I will love it...the pub doesnt interest me...

The thought of the cold weather is more than I can bear, I feel like a spoilt brat kicking her feet....

confusedenglishrose

Idyinlv says it best. My input having been in both places Houston and London is I know which I prefer and although I love the boots it ain't TX. Seems like you have assimilated though which makes it especially hard. Are you really sure you can live a life surrounded by the great unwashed of the US? I say this purely figuratively but they certainly are a different lot. Think beyond the sun because there certainly is more to experience. I find living in the sun makes life palatable and very easy to just 'exist' but it does not provide any meaning in life whatever that may mean.

Mummy in the foothills

Do you have a time line your supposed to be following or can you just wing in and stay longer. Maybe he could just stay in the flat for another year and let you stay where you are and get used to the idea of the move. It seems like when the move is sudden and unplanned (like him losing his job) it makes it harder to get to grips with. What will you do with the poor old Horse? do you have friends who will take him from you? It seems so sad to leave a horse, they are my soft spot.
I certainly wouldn't move till summer time anyway, especially coming from the Texas heat.

Isabel_7

As you say You have your life here. If I am reading it correctly you have 3 years to work out something regarding the work visa. Stay where your heart is and where you are now at home.

moneypenny20

So you don't have to leave for another three years? Speak to your husband, explain honestly and stay where you are. No offence but when you say that there is nothing for you back in the UK, that seems to include your husband, maybe you've found your place in the world and it doesn't include him? Maybe I've read it wrong in which case, my sincere apologies.

Officer Dibble

Sounds like you need to stay. A 2 bedroom flat (as alluring as it sounds ), is nothing. End of story. Perhaps when the horse kicks the bucket, have another look at the situation.

SanDiegogirl

Why do you say that after 3 years you have to leave?

Is there any reason (apart from the fact that your husband has returned to the UK) that you can't apply for your Green card?

quoll

Is your husband the man you want to grow old with? If the answer to that is yes then you will probably have to bite the bullet and choose the people rather than the place. If it is no, then perhaps you need some relationship counselling and decide to go your own way.

Many of us live in a place we dont want to be because the people are more important than the place at the end of the day.

sallysimmons

If you have to leave now or later anyway, isn't the marriage the real question?

It doesn't seem like you have an option to stay there long-term, so first you have to accept that. Then you have to decide whether the marriage is what you want because if it is, waiting the 3 years may put an end to it, leaving you returning home in 3 years to live alone. That may be the best thing but only you know that.

The horse story is very sad. I think it's a lesson to be careful about pets when we're on temporary visas.

WARPed

+1