Fob

Hi, I'll be going on holiday in the US over Christmas with my girlfriend, who's a US citizen, and I'm getting a bit nervous about going through immigration, based on some of the horror stories I've read!

I'll be there for just under three weeks, and we're going on a cruise to Hawaii together, with her parents. I've been to the US once before on this passport, June 2008 - that was a two week trip that was also a cruise with her, although I didn't really get any questions at immigration because my parents were with me, so they must have assumed it was a family holiday.

I live with my parents so don't have a tenancy or anything, but I'll have employment contract, recent payslips and I might get a letter from my employer to show when I'm due back. I'll also have my return flight ticket and bank statements. Me and my girlfriend have been together quite a few years now, but most of our time together has been when she's come to visit me in the UK.

So, I was wondering what the best approach is at immigration. I was thinking, if they ask what I'm going to be doing, of just saying "going on a cruise". If they ask whose address is on the card (I'll be staying with them two nights before the cruise), I was just going to say "my girlfriend and her family's" - I'd feel uncomfortable saying "some friends", as I've heard of people coming to the UK being sent home because they've said "visiting friends", who have later turned out to be boy/girlfriends.

Just wondering if anyone had any advice.

ian-mstm

To put things in perspective, for every horror story you've read, there are hundreds of thousands of folks who have no problems whatsoever.


And how is this trip different? It's still a holiday, isn't it?


This is all good stuff!


Quite simply, you tell the truth. If they ask whether or not you'll be visiting your girlfriend, you say - yes! If they don't ask the question, you're not obligated to volunteer that information. To say that you're going on a holiday cruise to Hawaii is not only a good strategy, it's also the truth. Bring a copy of your itinerary. If you're going on a cruise with her family, you might want to bring a letter from them indicating the dates that you'll be visiting with them, and that they expect you to return home when the trip is over... but show the letter only if asked for more information.

Be sure to complete ESTA online.

Ian

Fob

Thank you! I think I'll stick to that approach, then.

I just get a bit wary because of the amount of people saying things like "don't say you're visiting your girlfriend! Say you're visiting friends instead!" Although I guess it might be harder for people who have made a lot of visits or are staying for a long time. So as I said, if they ask whose address it is, I'm inclined to just say "my girlfriend's" and not "a friend's".

hobbes79

To add some perspective, I came over to the US to visit my at the time USC girlfriend. When I said that's what I was doing, the POE Office smiled and said "Don't plan to marry her do you?". I said "absolutely not!" and that was the end of it.

Fob

Yeah I guess that's most people's experiences. The last few times my girlfriend has been to see me in the UK she's been asked if she's meeting anyone, and even after she mentions me, she's just been waved through with no trouble.

I guess it's the 1% where something does go wrong that you tend to see reported, not the 99% where there's no problem. I'll try not to worry and just be honest - it's not like I have anything to hide.

Pipmeister

I traveled from the UK to Texas about 11 times over a two year period and each time I told them I was coming to see my (then girlfriend) - all they did was ask me how long I would be staying. This got to be such a non event that the one time I did get asked to show proof of intended return I hadn't bothered to print it off - thanks to the airline having me "auto-check-in" (so much for progress). The took me off to a little room where I waited for 15 minutes. They then checked my passport and let me go - in about 1 minute... so I always carried my flight itinerary after that! Never had a problem (or asked to see it) again.

Even last July, when I came over for two months (prior to moving out here on an H1-B) - they didn't give me a hard time. The point is - the VWP allows anyone to opportunity to stay up to 90 days.

As an aside - one my friends (female) who came over for our wedding, even joked with the immigration officer, when asked, she said she was coming to find herself a husband at our wedding - he laughed! Although I wouldn't recommended this approach!

You'll be fine!

JCraigFong

The big issue is MARRYING HER NOW, OR DURING THIS TRIP. As long as you are honest, as long as you have a job to which you'll return, as long as you can show the border guard that you have cruise tix and a return tix to the UK, and as long as you understand that they will NOT ALLOW you to enter if it is your present intention to marry her and stay in the USA to process your paperwork, then you should be part of the vast, vast majority of people -- probably on the close order of 97-99% -- who enter the USA daily with no trouble at all.

Bon voyage.

--J Craig Fong
Los Angeles, CA

Flabound oneday

reminds me of when we all landed in orlando for our wedding on Ft Myers beach. My (future) wife went through telling the officer the reason for our visit. i went through last and he commented ' I guess if i refuse you entry I will be spoiling things and not very popular '
to which i replied 'no but you would save me a lot of money'
he laughed and let me in- guess they are human after all

pejpm1

my girlfriend and I were long distance for 1 year, and in that time I went to the US almost every month. I think it was 9 times in 13 months. Every time they asked me, I'd say I was visiting my gf. A couple of times the immigration officer asked if i was planning on getting married while in the US...i didnt try and be funny or clever, i simply said 'no'. I didnt have any problems. You arent doing anything wrong, so just tell the truth.

StephieFaith83

Just be honest.

I was the same as you before making my first trip over there, I was absolutely petrified and I worried myself half to death over it...

Here's what happened to me at JFK...

CBP Officer: What's the purpose of your visit?
Me: Vacation, spending my birthday with my boyfriend...
CBP Officer: How long are you staying?
Me: 17 days including today...

That was it. He took my fingerprints etc, gave me my passport.

Didn't ask for anything else, not even my return ticket.

I had all my proof though, employment letter, sufficient funds etc.

Don't worry about it, just be honest.

Fob

Just want to say thanks for your help everyone! I just have one slight niggling worry, and that's that we first met in 2004 and have been together since then (though I've only visited her once, last summer). Will they be suspicious of this if I tell them, if they ask me how long we've been together? Of course we have talked about getting married at some point, though always with the thought that she would move to the UK, and we don't have any immediate plans.

I'm hoping the proof of my return (return ticket, job confirmation, coach ticket home from Heathrow after I get back from the trip) and of the purpose of the visit (cruise itinerary) would be enough to deal with anything like that.

ian-mstm

You wrote, "we first met in 2004 and have been together since then". If that's the truth, then if they ask you how long you've been together, you tell them that you've been together since 2004. Why do you think they'd be suspicious of that?

Ian

Eric S

Again, you're worried because of all the "horror stories" that you've heard. The thing to keep in mind is that people who have had problems at Immigration coming to visit their boyfriend or girlfriend were probably abusing the VWP by staying in the US for 90 days, leaving for a week or two, and coming back again for 90 days. And doing that repeatedly. When the officers see a pattern like that, they start to get suspicious that you're actually living here with the boyfriend/girlfriend.

If you're simply coming over on holiday for a couple of weeks, you really should have no problem at all.

- Eric S.

JCraigFong

Just tell them you believe in long engagements. Less tongue in cheek: it is NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS that you've waited a long time to tie the knot. It BECOMES their business if the history you relate is illogical or inconsistent, but if you have reasonable -- even if a bit quirky -- explanations, you should be fine.

Remember: >99% of people pass through primary with no trouble. And of those who get referred to secondary, 95% of them get admitted to the USA.

Enjoy your holiday.

Fob

Thanks everyone! Feeling a lot better about this now. It's quite possible that by the time the trip comes we will have solid plans to be married next year and to be living in the UK, but as we have no plans at all to get married on this trip or to live in the US, hopefully it'll be fine.